Inconsequentiality

noreply@blogger.com (bullshit) — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 18:54:00 +0000

OMG my sense of direction is fucking fail.

It's below the level that's necessary to survive wtf.

So either I get a GPS system or... die.

noreply@blogger.com (bullshit) — Sun, 06 Dec 2009 18:30:00 +0000

Do you ever find yourself wondering...

what constitutes a friend?

noreply@blogger.com (bullshit) — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 06:33:00 +0000

Fuck pubes! What the hell do they do anyway?

I should totally shave my pubes off.

Sorry if I disgust you.

noreply@blogger.com (bullshit) — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 13:44:00 +0000

What is with me?

Why do I keep hoping for a heavily tattooed guy to whisk me away in his car to a mountaintop, where there will only be silence, the stars and us.

Oh heavily tattooed guy, will you ever appear? Or are you just gonna remain as a figment of my imagination forever?

noreply@blogger.com (bullshit) — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 17:26:00 +0000

心跳的感觉... 真的存在吗？

Chronicles of Narnia... Not

noreply@blogger.com (bullshit) — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 07:11:00 +0000

What is this? Chronicles of me learning how to drive?

Indeed... this is what this site has become wtf. So I can recap on all the mistakes I did and learn. If anybody's still reading this shit, you'll have to SUFFERRRR.

So, 4th time. New stuff: going into a roundabout.

Recap!

Change gear often. "Cannot be lazy!!!!" (Ok maybe he didn't say it with so many exclamation marks but c'mon, for a beginner behind the wheel, EVERYTHING is amplified. Whether you learn from your mistakes, that's another thing wtf)
Hill. I think I'm getting a little better at this. Still, what I drove on ain't as steep as the test's one so have to work on it some more. Then remember, "Sustain!! SUSTAIN!!!" (Ok this one not really amplified, basically he's imploring for me to sustain the gear then press the gas)
Stop the time, even when on level ground, safer to use hand brake. Cos I'm still a noob. Stop on a slope, use hand brake lah duh. And pull hand brake hard enough. Then do the stupid hill thingy again.
Stop. Look around for cars. Get ready to move, react fast. Got car, wait till it just passes then can start moving already ok! Janganlah lambat-lambat, then forever got car coming and cannot move wtf.
Roundabout! I've learned that I dunno shit about sticking to my lane lol. Huh lane? What lane? Wtf. Shall illustrate this later.
LOOK AROUND FOR FUCKING CARS DUH. Cos I'll be trying to focus on what I gotta do and seem to forget/ ignore/ don't care that there are in fact other cars moving around and I could in fact be banging one of them if I ain't careful.

Mahai. So many points to recap.

And the nagging, oh the nagging. I mean I'm sorry he has to nag so much cos basically I'm the one causing it but sometimes just wanna tune the drone out ya know.

Illustration time!

Sorry bout the cheesy title, am finally going through the last HP book, which is surprisingly griping.

So basically I didn't even know which lane to go to , after going into the right lane, and turning round a few times to get the feel of it. My dad was asking me to turn into one of the roads, I just turned. No signal, no driving to the left lane, no nothing. Should've checked side mirrors and all, made sure it was safe to turn, signalled to the left, react fast and went into the left lane. Stick to your fucking lane. Undang should've learned this right but hell that was long ago and in theory of course easier to remember lah, got diagram for you to see some more. "Oh which way should Kereta A go blablabla."

Then another sticking to your lane scenario. Me noob lah. Walao what I learned at Undang like flew out the window after passing the Undang test.

So here my dad asked me to turn right, then I turned into the right lane, thought he meant do what the pink-crossed line shows lah. Sigh I know right. It's like I know nothing bout traffic rules or whatever. Huh traffic rules? What's that? Wtf.

That's basically it, I guess. What I learned today. Maybe he's bringing me out again after wards.

Not so scared of it anymore, but still not liking it either. Rather avoid it as much as I can wtf.

Baby steps. Baby steps.

noreply@blogger.com (bullshit) — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 08:45:00 +0000

More often than not, I scour blogs for posts that are contemplative and make you ponder, cos other people just seem to express those same feelings better than I ever will.

I think a part of me just hopes that one day one of them will chance upon the secret of life, or something like that.

And we can all share the knowledge and stop being lost.

noreply@blogger.com (bullshit) — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 07:42:00 +0000

You're asking me why I stay in my room most of the time?

HAIYA to avoid you people la duh!!! I rather die of congested air or something than facing the stress of dealing with you people wtf.

noreply@blogger.com (bullshit) — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 11:42:00 +0000

Emm okay. So I had my third driving lesson with my dad just now.

I guess it's getting better... hey at least I'm not crying now right? So that's what you may call progress.

I have yet to master multi tasking wtf... there's a lapse of attention the moment I change gear and have to steer at the same time.

And then the slope thing. Balance point (G spot, whatever you wanna call it), release hand brake... need practice for this to be smooth smooth smooth... Mind you it was just a teensy little slope. Test the time need to drive on hill sumore wtf. Practice I guess, nothing but practice.

Stalled a few times. Erm at least I went to the 5th gear this time. Just to get the hang of changing gears. Somehow I have this problem changing to 3rd gear wtf. Noob, I am.

And my steering is a bit off haha wtf. Cannot turn sharp corners smoothly yet. A bit slow.

So, recap:
- Multi task. Eyes on road at all time! (Wtf I don't even look at the mirrors. Okay must develop habit of looking) Feel the gears baby... Feeeeeeeeel it!
- Get the hang of steering. Hands on correct position... if not kena marah lol.
- Get the hang of slope thing.
- Get the hang of changing gears (ESPECIALLY 3rd gear). Know when to change. And to what. (When you slow down do you go to neutral and brake? Or you downshift. Instinct is to downshift but a little search on the Internet says it's better to go neutral and brake cos downshifting wears out the clutch. And clutch is more expensive to replace than brake. Tell me, people who drive.)
- No panicking of course. Panicking doesn't do anybody good. But me noob, still get nervous one.

Okay this is only my third time. I shall get better at this. Practice makes perfect right! And if all else fails, there's always the option of bribing wtfff... but parents won't do that :(. Okay what the fuck am I talking about I haven't even had my official driving lessons and I'm thinking bout the test already. =.=

And now my back aches a little wtf. Damn driving is tiring! Or maybe it's cos of my tension huhu wtf.

Erkbye.

noreply@blogger.com (bullshit) — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 05:07:00 +0000

Man, it's just stressful being around my parents.

I've learned that the way to survive in this household is to be as inconspicuous as possible. Just stay out of harm's way. And just shut the fuck up.

It's a self-preservation technique I've picked up. To save oneself from the frustration, and stress.

I mean. Dude, sure I love my parents. I care about them and all that. But hell they cause me a lot of STRESS!!!.

Whoa those basic HTML stuff learnt at school didn't go to waste after all wtf.

noreply@blogger.com (bullshit) — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 12:15:00 +0000

Holy crap why is learning how to drive so scary T______________T

I now understand why my bro drove at 20-30kmph when he first got his license wtf.

Holy shit HOWWWWW I DON'T WANNA LEARN BUT CANNOT DON'T LEARN WHO CAN SAVE ME WTFFFFF I'M SCARED SHITLESSSSSSS TOMORROW HAVE TO LEARN AGAIN GAAAAHHHHHHHHH HELP ME I DON'T WANNA WAKE UP T____________T

SIGH SIGH SIGH SIGH SIGH SIGH

Seriously.

You know what happened today?

I got home right. Seemingly normal. Suddenly it hit me. Like out of nowhere. This urge.

TO CRY LIKE A MOFO.

NO KIDDING.

I WENT UP TO MY ROOM TO CRY!!! AND SUPPRESS THE URGE TO CRY.

FUCK THIS SHIT!!!!

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?

CRY EVERYDAY AS LONG AS I'M LEARNING HOW TO DRIVE??

WHAT IF I NEVER GET GOOD AT IT??

WHAT IF I FAIL AT IT FOREVER AND EVER????

I'LL CRY?? IS THAT WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN??? I'LL CRYYY?????

T________________________________________T

I sound like a pathetic wimp but I NEED A FREAKING PLACE TO VENT TO REVEAL HOW TRULY SCARED I AM WTF AND WEAK I KNOW I KNOW!

I dunno what to feel right now. I'm down. Dreading tomorrow. Dreading what comes next.

为什么人总是一定要做自己不想做的东西？

noreply@blogger.com (bullshit) — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 07:37:00 +0000

I'm so goddamn sleepy right now but I have these images in my head.

Of stars, of vast fields, of engulfing darkness, of tranquility.

Of writing, of inspiration, of swirling vortex, of pulsating calmness.

I'm so goddamn sleepy right now

but all I'm doing is being vague.

noreply@blogger.com (bullshit) — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 11:54:00 +0000

"It's true hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance?" - Ronald Reagan

Haha. Tell me about it, Ronald.

***
My top time-wasting sites:
youtube, Cracked, blogspot wtf (as in all the blogs I read)

And today, I think another site has joined this category: listverse.com

Damnit.

***
From Top 10 Modern Human Addictions:

#10 Laziness (Ahhh the chord couldn't have been more struck)
"Anything which involves effort is often repulsive to these people; who will always find ways not to bother; and can lead to them deliberately turning down opportunities for the sake of the quiet and the mundane."

Oh my God this sounds totally like me LOL.

noreply@blogger.com (bullshit) — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 11:40:00 +0000

Nothing new today. Totally wasted the whole day doing nothing again.

But anyway. Just now I had a tummy ache and the next thing I know shit was blasting out of my a-hole like it was a fire hose and the toilet bowl was a house on fire.

It was the kind of one-off diarrhoea session where you get nauseated and you feel like you're gonna puke any second. And you contemplate, if you really do puke are you gonna do it on the floor? Or are you gonna get off the toilet seat and barf into the bowl like you should, with your unwiped exposed ass hanging in the air like a mofo.

Yeah, it was that kind of crap. Ya get what I mean?

To spare you the suspense, I ended up not puking. These sessions are always riddled with fake forecasts of regurgitation.

But the question of the day is, why doesn't diarrhoea work like barfing? You know, cos as I remember after barfing you instantly feel wayyy better like wow you miraculously recovered from whatever shit you were suffering from. You feel lighter. (Wow maybe I should become bulimic wtf). Anyway I can't remember when was the last time I barfed but I sorta recall after-barfing effects as being that way. Correct me if I'm wrong.

The opposite goes for diarrhoea, cos after the first blast you don't feel instant relief. Oh no. No no no... you feel more pain. More nausea, and maybe a bit dizzy, and to top all that your asshole burns. Oh hell yeah it fucking burns. As though it was a nest of fire ants or something.

And the more you crap the more you feel like 'Oh God I'm gonna die... God help me...'

It'll only be some time after which you'll feel better enough to crawl back to your bed and in my case, go back to trawling the Internet wtf.

With your shithole still burning like nobody's business.

At least that's how it usually goes for me. Maybe it's different for you cos you shit rainbows or something. Holy crap if you do, do share the details!

Damn. I end this post with this note: if only diarrhoea were more like barfing, you know what I mean?

noreply@blogger.com (bullshit) — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 08:42:00 +0000

You know you have no reason to wake up in the morning when you... well, just don't wanna get out of bed.

Today I feel in need of a cry session and a big tub of chocolate ice cream.

Rant

noreply@blogger.com (bullshit) — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 14:04:00 +0000

Seriously, I'm all for going back home and all but...

I wonder how to explain to mah parents when this sem's results end up way shittier than last sem's?

=/.

And you people wonder why I appear offline most of the time wtf. When I chat with my parents, they sureeeeee will end up asking about studies one. SUREEEEEEE ONE! *high pitched voice*

Sigh how ar.

Use the old "my dog ate my homework" excuse?

=.=

If I were to be honest, I could just say, "Seriously, can't you get that I'm just a lazy old bum? I'm fucking lazier than your everyday sloth, I don't give in the effort required, seriously I don't even try anymore, I don't attend lectures anymore, and if attendance weren't marked for tutorials I may have skipped even more classes, I don't start on assignments till the last last minute (yes mum, I DILLY-DALLY a lot), I take zero interest in what I'm supposed to learn, I look like crap and do a crap job at being a good student. Well basically I'm all of the things that you two would show contempt towards."

"Don't you judge me."

Ok fine, judge. Judge me with all that judgmental laser eyes and mind you want. Inside you there's a small voice reprimanding for being such a lousy ass bitch and you're thinking you're better than me. And by saying that I'm judging YOU. Cos at the end of the day we are all in fact fucking judgmental people.

Blah. Blah. Blah.

I didn't bathe today.

noreply@blogger.com (bullshit) — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 14:21:00 +0000

MAHAI finish your goddamn assignments la can or not diuuuuuuuuuuuu... Fuck this shit

s;dljfjjrpjknfldfgprjgpjrsglfmngpojseptojdfl;gjdfxpocjghpeosrjtpdf;jgz;

noreply@blogger.com (bullshit) — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 13:17:00 +0000

I continue to amaze myself with my ability to waste time in the most useless fashion ever, especially when there's more pressing stuff to deal with.

Fuck am I even more useless than Magibon?

Only found out bout her today and all I can say is, wtf anything is possible in this world man...

Anything.

noreply@blogger.com (bullshit) — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 13:23:00 +0000

Didn't do a single shit today.

QC is... so... addictive...

I'm reading a webcomic.

I'm officially a dork.

noreply@blogger.com (bullshit) — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 11:42:00 +0000

One of the worst creepy crawlies violation of all time:

Having a cockroach crawling on your thigh when you're in the shower.

Fuck this shit.

Do you wonder why people hate you so much cockroach? Do you? WELL IT'S CAUSE YOU FUCKING TRAUMATIZE PEOPLE AND MAKE THEM FEEL VIOLATED.

Don't forget, you have 'COCK' in your name. Sheesh no wonder you're such a dickhead.

OK? Clear enough?

And now that you're dead, cockroach, let that serve as a warning to your fellow buddies not to mess with a girl's bath time.

**

If magic really exists and spells could work, a really useful one would be "ROACHA BEGONE! AH!"

Or, "ASSIGNMENTO BEGONE AH!"

**

So apart from a vermin episode where I almost beat it to death with my underwear wtf, the weekend was the usual blend of procrastination, being distracted by the Internet, sleep and uber laziness.

At the risk of sounding like a radio DJ,

So how was your weekend?

What

noreply@blogger.com (bullshit) — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 10:46:00 +0000

"I asked myself today, why do I sit here? why do I sit here and listen to the same song again and again, play the same fucking card game over and over again. and then I realize that this is how I deal. I shut down most of my brain, leaving it to only perform menial tasks. no room for thought, no room for pain. and I realize I do this more and more often. until I am but a stupid person."

- by skyler @ claudia

This strikes the fucking chord.

Isn't it ironic...

noreply@blogger.com (bullshit) — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 08:34:00 +0000

don't you think?

That I can spend hours on end, well practically all my conscious hours, reading Cracked.com articles, yet when I read the fucking encyclopedia of a legal textbook I can't even manage past a few minutes wtf.

FML.

I wonder...

noreply@blogger.com (bullshit) — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 04:25:00 +0000

I wonder what you'd feel if you're a lecturer and you witness the number of student attending your lecture dwindle...

Does it bruise your ego?

Does it dampen your spirit and make you ask what the hell are you doing here when nobody gives a shit?

Do you relish in it cos less students means less talking?

Or

Do you grudgingly accept the fact and just keep going?

I guess over time, lecturers just settle with grudging acceptance.

How do they get up in the morning to go to work?

Being a lecturer sucks man.

***

I wonder what's it like to have a totally, completely honest relationship with your parents.

As in you don't have to hide anything from them. They'd be more like your close buddies instead of authoritative figures in your life.

Like if you smoke, you won't have to hide it. You're gay, you won't hesitate to tell them. You're a cross dresser, they'll know.

You can tell them anything, and they'll understand. Or they try to. And they'll be just what you need at the moment. They'll have just the right amount of support, or firmness, or interest, or advice, or rebuttal.

Oh I wonder how would that be. Close buddies. If my parents and I weren't 40 years apart, would we be more on the same wavelength? Or would things remain the same, as it's an Asian thing wtf?

Hmmm...

noreply@blogger.com (bullshit) — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 02:32:00 +0000

While I was taking a dump just now, for whatever reason I thought of this Denmark exchange student we had at high school during Form 4.

I thought, Man she must have so damn bored attending a Malaysian high school. I wonder what she told her friends back home about our school, like how intensely boring the classes can be or how useless the teachers can get.

Evidently, no one can escape the abyss of boredom that is Malaysian high school cos when she was asked to give her farewell speech, she said she did learn something, ie how to sleep in class.

HAHAHA. Yeahhh... didn't we all learn that in high school... good times good times.

Despite how mind numbing high school was sometimes or most of the time, people always ALWAYS reminisce and say, oh how I wish I could go back to those times.

Humans are just creatures like that. Including myself, even though it contained one of the most depressed periods of my life so far. I can't even count how many times I hid in the toilet stalls crying my eyeballs out.

It was hard. It was OK. It was not bad. It was nice. It was boring. It was fun. It was stupid.

It was all those things combined, and more.

Sometimes I find myself reminiscing about tuition times, even though I had to cramp into the fucking bus all sweaty and tired and hot to attend tuition all bloated and sleepy. Still there's a part of me that wants to go back.

Pffft. Silly humans. Silly emotions. I wonder why do we even exist.

noreply@blogger.com (bullshit) — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 06:11:00 +0000

Apparently sometimes you do get what you want.

Today, there was blood flow wtf.