More randomness till you can't take it wtf

People, yours truly is finally done with the major stress inducer - Illegally Stressful crap. If you ask me now if I care about my topic at all, I would answer "Hell NO" without hesitation wtf. Seriously.

So, that's over and done with. Now life goes on... with. MORE. STUFF. TO. DO.

T_____T.

I really should be at least holding a pen or pencil and writing some half arsed answer on some crappy paper, but here I am blogging and not forgetting, blog hopping incessantly.

Wasn't that like the longest sentence ever wtf.

And why is there more stuff to do? Mid year papers coming up.

Let me hear y'all say... CRAP!

Can I just skip the exam part and jump straight to the holiday wtf?

IF ONLY.

Apart from being occupied with SAMANTHA related stuff, my time have been spent... sleeping? Wtf. My life damn boring la I know. No need to remind me ler can.

Suddenly, I'm craving for COLOURS. Vibrant, exciting colours. Randomness again.

Someone says my blog persona and real life persona are like two different identities... LOL. Isit... Perhaps I have some sort of split personality disorder wtf...

What? I have never said I'm normal what right.

*****

15. What do you think is the most important thing in life?
Being content.

20. What is Happiness?
Happiness is being yourself and being content with that.

Yup, couldn't agree more. I share the same sentiments with her.

So I guess I should be reminded time to time to stop bitching lorrr... ehehe. But like that this blog would be dead because it's all about bitching and complaining wtf.

Besides that, someone also wonders how come I've discovered so many blogs. Well, boys and girls, let me impart some wisdom wtf. You need to be skilled ok... in wasting a lot of time blog hopping wtf. Some were discovered by chance, some recommended. So my list of blogs to read have grown gradually over time. You'll get to that stage la people, you just have to be patient and determined. LOL. Don't lah envy my status of professional blog reader...

-_-. Sweat right.

Randomness

4.03 pm.

Time doesn't stop.

I like the feeling of typing in my blog. Don't you blog owners think so too?

I swear I'm like the most unproductive person EVERRRR...

Tonnes of homework still untouched.

Ready for some stress relief after Monday people? Who the fuck cares about homework eh...

Ooo I saw someone wearing an MCR T-shirt today and I was filled with envy all I wanted to do was mengganas and rampas his shirt.

Can't wait for mid-term break yo... 2 weeks, very short, but a holiday nonetheless.

Post Yang Lagi M'sweatkan

So I wanted to blog about this a long time ago.

That perhaps people have been asking the wrong questions.

Instead of asking, "Why am I here?", maybe we should ask, "What should I do to make my presence here worthwhile?" instead.

Instead of asking, "Why did this happen to me?", we should ask......

"Why didn't this happen to someone else?????"

-____-". SWEATNESS again.

Don't mind me. I'm just rambling outta depression again.

Post Yang Teramat M'sweatkan

Sweatness. You know what I did almost right after the previous post?

I SLEPT.

WTF RIGHT. Beh tahan myself.

But anyway done pamphlet already but that's the only thing I did today. WTF DAMN FAIL RIGHT. T_T"... (Nice right, cry and swt at the same time wtf)

And it was hot and stuffy just now. So, more sweating wtf.

In conclusion, this is a sweat post. Dedicated to my readers. WTF. Not even 3 people lor.

My un-ambitions :
- Accountant
- Educator
- Doctor
- Anything to do with the financial sector
- Lawyer

And I bet, many many more wtf. I'm a stubborn person I guess. It's hard to develop my interest in things I don't give two hoots about. Which is basically... almost everything wtf.

To find out wtf I'm rambling about here, refer to -->this.

kthxbai

Phasing out

You know what I should be starting on my pamphlet but here I am blogging again. Damn fail. Seriously DAMN FAIL.

I'm kinda sleepy right now but I MUST NOT sleep. Cos I'm waiting for the sleepy phase to pass and the zombie phase to kick in wtf. Shall tahan through it? But tempting lar my bed, although it is as hard as a rock wtf... well having slept on it for so many months already I guess that I've gotten used to it. This bed with zero bounciness wth.

There aren't really any breeze tonight. Ya I know nobody gives a fuck but it matters to me cos I'm feeling kinda hot and stuffy now ok. Where's the cooling night wind bebeh???

Sigh sleepy la wtf.

End This Shit

Ladies and gentlemen here I present to you another reason EndlessStupidLubbish pisses the fuck out of me. Investigative Studies Tutorial. OH YEAH MOTHERFUCKER. I don't know why must they put us through all these crap either. To prepare us for future similar crap I guess. Fuck yeah I'm gonna bitch about it. Hell if I care. I bitch about stuff, that's what I do here duh.

So let's all disregard all the mind numbing, practically useless, supposedly consoling bullcrap like "it's gonna help you in the future" "you're gonna have to face these stuff in the future anyway" "you have to develop these skills... for your future..."

OH FUCK THAT SHIT. Notice how all of those concern bout the future? Look at me ---> -___-
DO I LOOK LIKE I FUCKIN CARE BOUT THE FUTURE? I'm living in the present wtf. Let me worry bout the future when it gets here wtf. Or if I even arrive into the future wtf.

In case you didn't get my tone, let me emphasize what I'm thinking right now.

I HATE THIS SHIT I HATE THIS SHIT I HATE THIS SHIT I HATE THIS SHIT I HATE THIS SHIT.

Get it now?

So yeah I'm a whiny bitch. So sue me. Fuck if I care. *sulks*

Sigh.

Cold and Hungry

Didn't realise that the last post was the 111th post. Damn nice number eh.

Well I'm in the computer lab at the library. Damn cold wei. Why does it feel like the North Pole over here. T_T. I'm hungry sumore. DAMN hungry. I wanna eat burger wtf.

Saja wanna update. Eheh.

Just Smile

It's been a long time since I churned out anything contemplative and introspective. Well I'm not even sure if I had posted anything like that before wtf. Probably there's nothing much to be introspective about. Or, you can put it that nothing much goes on in my mind heh.

Not exactly moody today, but not exactly all smiles either. Let's NOT get into the fucking MindlessYuckyOmfgmotherfuckinglypointlesswtfccbknnBusiness. I shall NOT bitch about it. LOL.

I find it harder and harder to find words to express what I'm thinking. Or, you can put it that nothing much goes on in my mind too wtf. I've written a post before about sustaining one's own happiness. It sorta went like if everyone could sustain their OWN happiness, not having to live for others or to satisfy other people, wouldn't that be great? Everyone would live happily ever after.

But humans being complex creatures, of course things won't be as simple as that. You think we're living in a children's book meh. Where everything is colourful and vibrant and nothing could go wrong. Or everything will turn out fine in the end. As people say, REALITY SUCKS. I guess we have to live with that.

For one humans are interdependent (wtf too much Econs isit) after all. They are social creatures. How they feel, how they think are influenced by what others feel and think too. It's difficult to be happy when people surrounding you are not. It's hard to be elated when people around you are having problems or are creating some. And when you are somehow caught in the middle of all the problems, bickering and unpleasantness, of course you'll feel down and disillusioned. There goes my theory of sustaining one's own happiness.

But can't it be as simple as that? You are responsible for your own happiness. Your own feelings. Nobody can feel on your behalf. If you wanna be happy, then just be so. Make yourself happy. To hell with other people's problems. To hell with all those conflicts. And hating someone may be harder on the hater than on the person hated. So why hate? Why trouble yourself?

It could be easier said than done. But just try anyway. Just smile, even if it's just for a sec or two.

Just Read

I have exactly 10 minutes to finish this post! Cos I have to be punctual and go down for dinner with my friends!

Just wanted to say, even though deep in our soul there's still emptiness, experiencing stomach cramping laugh-out-loud moments still beats living like a total zombie!

That took like 3 mins wtf.

Laughter is supposedly the best medicine. One does feel better after laughing till the stomach hurts! But what to do if it's just temporary relief? I say just enjoy the moment I guess!

It doesn't solve the core issue. The problem still exists. Perhaps laughing it off is just a means of evasion. But ah, what the heck. I guess life's too short for us to be figuring out the answer to everything.

The One Where It Could Have Been

Being one who often dwells on what-could-have-beens, I may annoy the hell outta people. But just layan me a bit lah hehe...

What-could-have-beens, similar with what-ifs and if-onlys, would most of the time spark regret and induce a major load of sighing. And today, yours truly shall be bringing you back to what could have been if there wasn't any scholarship wtf.

One major factor that keeps me alive in that place is the great friends that I have made there. Yup I'm sincerely glad that I've had the chance to befriend these people. They make my days all the more bearable and happier. ^^ (Walao first time using this emoticon, rare occasion indeed wtf) Needless to say, I <3 THEM! LOL. So if we all didn't get JPA and became classmates we wouldn't have had the opportunity to meet? Well, not neccesarily...

For one, I know that my room mate would be studying at where I would be studying too, at let's call it RAT College wtf. And the same course too! So chances are we would have met all the same. Same goes for another guy classmate Cintan LOLOL.

Plus my "WIFE"! She'd go to RAT too but for a different course... that doesn't mean we won't have any chances of interaction though! OK, the scenario in my mind is she and MY *cough cough* will have some progress since maklumlah they'll be seeing so much of each other at college being in the same course and all hahaha... sure they'll participate actively in all sorts of events together hahaha.. including eh eh ACCOUNTING NIGHT! Perhaps that would be the time when we would meet! HAHAHA! In short the world is small and if fate allowed it we would have met anyway... hehehehe right right???

Who else! I'm guessing "SO" would enrol in RAT too! Cos her bf is there ehehehe.... And many others since RAT is goddamn freakishly popular! One, it's easy to get in lol and its fees are relatively affordable I guess.

But too bad I won't be able to know V V W W! As she would be continuing her studies at another college hahaha... I 'heart' her too!

I don't know bout the others! Why suddenly I'm overdosing on exclamation marks wtf!

HAHAHA actually this post kinda pointless also I just wanted to get it out of my system hahaha... that fate works in mysterious ways or some deep crap like that lah lol. And I won't be losing out much if I didn't get the you-know-what lah. This post started off serious but ended up like this! Cos of my "wife" lah! LOL~

Shall end this before I further butcher your mind with my mindless crap! LOL~

Abruptly Ended

Seriously fucked up stressed!!!!! To ponder over the next few weeks is enough to make the most optimistic person suicidal wtf. T_T. Am scared, tensed, petrified, stressed, mentally exhausted all rolled into one.

**
The fact that human beings have the ability to think, contemplate and mull over stuff may be a blessing an curse at the same time. BECAUSE, after the routine, after the running around, people start sitting down and think. About what? The age old fucked up question of "WHY THE FUCK DO I EXIST???"

Hobbes had a pretty straightforward answer for Calvin. "Because you were born."

Yeah, we are here because we were born. It could be as simple as that. But humans being humans with "advanced" grey matter, they are not content with just that answer. They think that there MUST be a REASON for their existence! If not why did they evolve from primitive Neanderthals to the modern supreme beings they are today?

Thus individuals will begin to search for the cause they are living for. Like "I live to have fun!" "God created me to fuck!" "I am here because I'm hot!" and so on and so forth. On a more serious note, basically ya lah people will start to wonder why do they exist on this vast planet called Earth.

With no thesis statement and topic sentences, this post seems to lead to nowhere wtf.

So anywayyy, me being a human too, I do the same and ask why the fuck am I here. Or more specifically, currently I wonder why the fuck am I studying what I'm studying at where I'm studying.

Sigh. The End.

Lazy to continue. Shall go eat dinner now.

Childhood Trauma

So today when I was bathing right, somehow a reserved memory sufaced in my mind... more like traumatic memory...

This happened a long time ago, when I was still an innocent wide-eyed adorable girl...

My dad just came out of the bathroom dripping wet (wrapped in towel duh), but there was still the sound of someone showering in it...

That time I was looking for my mother, so innocently I asked my dad: "Mummy leh?"

Dad:"She's bathing..." *points to the bathroom he JUST CAME OUT FROM*

Instant thought?

Oh. My. God. I. should. have. known. better.

For those who've met my parents, please DO NOT conjure up images of them bathing together!!!

Highly disturbing. God knows why I had to recall this. -_-

ZOMG I is Fail

Heehee made further changes to my header!!! ZOMG it looks fucking cool can???

I can't believe I spent precious hours customising my blog that nobody even reads! It's already 2.40 pm wtf! Am I a failure or am I a failure! But it did give me satisfaction yo!

p/s: Hopefully my friend is not down with dengue eh! Fast fast get well and come back to college (@ hell hole) wei~

She Woke Up From a Dream

She woke up from a dream, and the day was still bright although it was night.
The dream she couldn't recall, but it didn't give her any fright.
Still dazed and groggy, she got up from bed,
and looked into the mirror to see her eyes red.
Despite that, she felt unusually fine,
like she just downed a glass of great wine.
And so she put on a sun dress and a great smile,
thinking that going out on such a day would be worthwhile.
Out on the streets everything seemed perfect,
The weather amazing and the congeniality of people was neither forced nor fake.
There was no pollution, there were no worries,
Only her thinking about making potpourris.
She tripped and she hopped,
blithely, she tripped and she hopped.
Reaching the end of the street, she stopped.
Pondering on where to go, she couldn't decide on a stop.
Even on a perfect day like this,
where nothing was amiss,
she realised... that she had nowhere to go.
Suddenly she felt empty, and cold.

She woke up from a dream,
Dazed and groggy, she wanted to scream.

Kickass Layout

Was kinda down but am feeling better cos I played around with layout and voila! It's freakin AWESOME!!!!

I mean just take time to appreciate the header man... it's Gee in action! Are you affected by the spirit of rock 'n' roll yet huh huh??? And the kickass guy with the guitar could be Ray, judging by his hair, or it could be Frank! Judging by his tattoos haha... OMG one just wanna abandon all responsibilities and ROCK with them woot!!!

I also adjusted the width of the body cos it was a little too narow for my liking. Made subtle changes to the font, and changed my blog title too. Now, instead of the self-indulgent and wordy (but still kickass) title, you get the one word-7 syllables title that just sums it all up. Am retaining my profile cos it still rings true.

Le sigh, take time to appreciate it... again I should have done this earlier -_-...

Untitled

It's hard to be content with yourself when you feel absolutely stupid/ unworthy/ slow/ lembap.

Again I'm linking him cos he just echoes my thoughts sometimes.

Updated

*cracks knuckles*

Apparently someone asked me to update hahaha. What lah now that I unintentionally let people discover my pathetic blog (haih) I shall be prudent in what I post!

(Read: Actually have nothing to blog about but die die wanna give some crappy excuse not to blog)

So now you know lah what goes on in my mind... DAMN LOT OF CURSING LOLOL. Well, not really lah I'm still very prim and proper one wahahaha... You believe me right right???

I've been kinda off lately. There's just something not right with me. I feel lost. I'm retreating into my shell once again. I dunno...

Sigh.

Menses of the Nose

I wasn't familiar with the term "bag lady", till I became one. HAHAHAHA.

I is bag lady. LOL. I tell you I really looked and felt like a bag lady today, hence the frequent appearance of the sentence " I is bag lady " in mah mind.

Apart from that wtf, today I woke up with blood caked in my hair. -_________-.

Apparently I experienced a major case of nose bleed while unconscious (read: sleeping like a pig due to late night ventures to strip clubs <- I wish -_-) on my bed. I was woken up by the alarm clock (I think, or maybe it was my body waking up due to the shock caused by blood loss WTF) and felt something amiss wtf. You know lah the feeling when there's dry blood on your skin. Now just imagine that stream of dry blood CAKED (can't figure out a more appropriate word) along your left cheek.

I saw the pool of blood on my pillow case and I kinda figure out what happened. Still in shock, also unsure of the time since I was unaware whether the alarm clock rang or not, I went to the bathroom to inspect the damage wtf.

I LOOKED LIKE A FREAKING WAR VICTIM. Er, ok lah maybe that's an exaggeration wtf but this is the first time I experienced a case of major nose bleed while asleep. And my pillow looked like a freaking pillow of a war victim wtf. No kidding wtf.

The metallic smell of blood kept lingering when I washed my hair. It seemed to me that the blood just kept sticking to my hair wtf. Damn unsettling lor can wtf.

Then I went to college looking like a bag lady wtf. The end.

I blogged a post about nose bleed wtf -____-. My life is god damn interesting la can.

p/s: Hope can hand in draft tomorrow! Gambate add oil add sugar add salt wtf.

Dai Sei / Masochist

I am SOOOOO god damn sleepy right now! But I can't sleep! Cos have to finish mah god damn draft!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARGH SOMEBODY! KILL ME! Sooooooooo sleepyyyyyyyyyyyy..... T_T Wanna pengsan edi wtf.

Do You Feeeeel My Desperado-ness

I AM DESPERATE!!!!!!!!!!!! *FOAMS AT MOUTH*

SO SO SO DESPERATE I TELL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know lah I only have myself to blame hehehehehehe...

I've gone crazy I tell you! CUCKOO! CUCKOO!

WTF.

Yo Who's Your Mama Now Huh? (LAME)

Today is Sunday. Stating the obvious, duh. Mah point is today I have to go back to Subang... T_T.

And being the queen slacker that I am, I did just a teensy weensy part of my draft. Great. May I hear some applause please? I have like 5? hours to finish it. HAHA. I'm not kidding myself. I know I won't get it done by then. I just KNOW that I'll be handing in some half ass crap excuse of a draft. What a good student am I.

Aiya don't care edi lah just finish this shit only lah. (Me likey this sentence as it shows appropriate amount of I-don't-give-a-fuck-ness and attitude, no?)

Till then. Toodles.

The One Where I Thought I Was A Lion WTF

I deserve a freakin' award for being the mother of all slackers!!!!!!! ROARRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!

I shalt not sleep tonight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ROARRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!

Semangat or not I ask you?? LOLOLOL.

This is just to mask the fact that I'm DEAD. DEAD, I tell you. Wtf.

I shall whine more bout this scholar crap!

Others would think," Aww, you people are so lucky that you got scholarships and now you're whining??? Count your blessings ok!! I/My son/My daughter/My niece/My dog's friend's owner's boss' daughter/You get the fuckin' drift didn't get any ok!!! We have to PAY for our OWN FREAKIN' EDUCATION!!!! AND YOU'RE WHINING??? YOU USELESS PIECES OF UNGRATEFUL CRAP!!! "

Well I can't argue with you that we were "lucky" to be selected... but lo and behold... life as a scholar SUCKS. THE GRASS IS NOT ALWAYS GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE WTF.

Imagine, constantly being reminded that you're fuckin' scholars, that you HAVE to get good results, that you ARE supposed to get fuckin' straight As, that you're are supposed to be BETTER than the private students goddamnit. And when you perform LIKE an average student, you feel like CRAP cos your lecturer keeps on comparing you to the private students.

"You guys are SCHOLARS (FOR FUCK'S SAKE)!" Like we're supposed to be superior like that. Like we are geniuses like that wor. Granted, some may be geniuses wtf. But WTF we are human beings also ok stop treating us like fucking aliens. (And the reason why we got so many As in SPM is cos we MEMORISED KAO2 WTF. Well, in my case lar hehe) We have feelings too ok. MCHCCB. And contrary to popular belief, we don't devour books 24/7! (My class lor at least) We are normal beings who wanna have fun and enjoy our college life!!!!!!!!! YOU HEAR THAT MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!!!!!! ROARRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!! (Wah damn gek dong wtf)

There's ALWAYS the pressure to perform well, cos if you don't, your freakin' scholarship gets taken back! Oh that's fine with me actually I don't want it anyway (eh that rhymes wtf) but we have to pay them back if we don't meet their requirements -________- or if we break any rules in the contract whatever lah. I HATE THE WORD SCHOLAR I HATE BEING LABELLED AS ONE. ROARRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!

"You have to get good results, otherwise you'll lose your scholarship bla bla BLA..."

ARGH JUST KILL ME JUST TAKE A FUCKING GUN AND KILL ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

p/s: And this is why I don't reveal my blog to my friends LOLOLOLOL damn emo sumore so foul wtf. Actually I'm very demure one in person BWAHAHAHAHAHA. Up to you whether you believe or not lah hahaha...

Horton Hears A Who vs. The Mist

Hmmm.. not really sure what to blog about now...

But anyway yesterday went to watch Horton Hears A Who with mah best friend... it was pretty enjoyable, till it got to the part where the kangaroo bitch convinced everyone to cage Horton and boil the freaking clover in dunno-what oil. The scene so god damn reminded me of The Mist, which my bros & I watched the day before on my bro's PC.

The Mist was about some fucked up military experiment that opened up the doors of another dimension to our world. Something like that lah I didn't catch the beginning. And there were this group of people trapped in a supermarket. These creatures from the other dimension were pretty... I don't have other words to describe them except for er.. fucked up wtf... pardon me haven't been articulate and never will be wtf...

At least that's what we thought it was about till this preachy bitch started yapping her trap. She'd say that this was God's punishment bla bla bla and there'll be blood bla bla bla all those biblical crap lah. And when blood was shed, some people started to actually believe her. Desperate times bring out the worst in people. More and more people listened to her crap and the bitch really thought she was God's messenger or what. So there we knew, that this movie was also about "religious zealots" as my bro put it.

It got to a point where a military guy got stabbed thrice, was carried away, screaming like a wounded animal, to outside the supermarket where he was finally devoured by a huge ass creature from the other dimension. Because all this was supposedly all HIS fault and his blood had to be shed. Because all the crap believers listened to her every word and got mindfucked. When the people with their minds and conscience still intact knew that he wasn't to be blame, and sacrificing him wouldn't do anyone any good.

I tell you, when the guy was stabbed and the blossom of blood slowly expanded on his shirt, it was disturbing. One could literally feel his pain. The injustice! The insanity! The barbarism! WTF??? WTF is wrong with these people???? The guy was screaming and screeching in pain OMG . And when they cheered and carried him away, he was writhing and screaming and SCREAMING. OMG one couldn't bear to look on. It was highly disturbing, to say the least.

And the scene when Horton was tied and forced into a cage... when everyone was listening to the kangaroo bitch.. when everyone was taunting and shouting, reminded me so god damn much of that scene. It was supposed to be a kid's movie, but the message the two movies conveyed had similarities.
"DON'T LISTEN TO FUCKED UP BITCHES WHO ALWAYS THINK THEY'RE RIGHT AND YOU'RE WRONG!!!!!!"
"ONE'S FUCKED UP THINKING MAY LEAD TO THE SACRIFICE OF INNOCENT LIVES!!!!"
And so on and so forth.

But of course since "Horton" is supposed to UMUM and watched by innocent wide-eyed kids, the ending was different. In the end everyone found out that there WERE living beings on the clover and stopped all their 'let's burn the witch on the stake' actions. The kangaroo repented and helped to shade the clover (pffft like that's any use wtf) to the top of Mt Nool where it's the safest for the Who's. Happy ending the end wtf.

The moral of the story was supposed to be "a person's a person, no matter how small" or something like that lah. But now we all know what it's REALLY about huh... all thanks to me wtf.

There was also this subplot about Jojo, the mayor's son who felt misunderstood and was afraid to disappoint his Dad. Sigh could so relate to that. He sorta saved the day. Sigh I wish I could relate to that wtf.

By the way, why were both troublemakers in both movies FEMALES??? Wtf is that supposed to mean? That bitches are more convincing? That bitches are more fucked up and should be burnt on stakes? Hmmm...

3 Sentences

OMG all I wanna do is lie on my bed with my laptop and play kiddy online games like CHUZZLE all day long!!!!

Again I don't have to earn a lot of money to do that right??? All I need is enough money to buy food and rent a place wtf.

Mother of All Evils

I hereby conclude that the Internet is EVILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What I wanted to do was to search for information and start on my drafting... but.. but.. the LURE of the EVIL Internet made me read blogs and now here I am blogging!!!!! Now I'm itching to play free kiddy online games!!!!!! OMG someone save me from myself please!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why don't I have any self control at all??? WHY TELL ME WHY. T__________T (been using this A LOT lately wtf)

I'm A Simple Girl leh

It's been a long time since I sat down and read a good book. At the end of the day, all I wanna do is sit on a comfortable couch, read a good book and drink some coffee. And draw.



That's all I'm asking for. I don't have to earn a lot of money to do that right? T_______T.

Random shit

OOO the last post was the 88th! *clap clap* auspicious number wtf.

Random thought: Can one's head fall off due to too much head banging? LOL. Or will the vertebrae snap? LOLOL. Retarded questions I know. Just some thoughts.

People are anticipating the impending '513'. Seems like there's no so-called racial harmony after all.

Side note: Gerard Way ROCKS. MCR ROCKS. Arghhhhhh when are they coming back?????

p/s: I'm probably the most unproductive person ever existed.

p/p/s: I wanna get a tattoo! Waiting for my best friend lar... we go 'permanently disfigure' our skin together ya~? Ooooh can't wait! I've already got my potential tattoo drawn out today!

CRAP CRAP CRAP! ARGHHHHHHHH

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I'M SO FUCKING USELESS!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

The thing I'm best at is WASTING TIME. I was doing my homework but half way through I played Bejeweled wtf. WTF. I don't know what's wrong with me too. And now? It's 5 something already. 5 FUCKING SOMETHING. Why la why time passes so fast????

T_______________________T... there's nothing more apt to express how I'm feeling right now. Sometimes I wish I were a retard, instead of always acting like one. Aiyaaaaaaaaaaa dunno larrrrrrrrr... I feel like getting out of this house but got nowhere to goooooooo... T_T..

So hor, after elections already right... the media is like waving the racial card in people's faces don't you think so? Somehow I think BN wants another 513 to happen so that they can go ' NAH nah see? Vote for opposition this is the outcome la! Told you edi for peace, stability bla bla bla vote for BN la! You all brought all these upon yourselves cis! ' *smug look wtf*

IS there gonna be another 513?

Getting Shorter

Please don't make me hate you guys. I've resorted to locking myself in my room. To avoid you guys, and to use my freaking laptop. I can't even hold my phone with peace now. I dread coming home and I dread going back to college. Where else is there for me to go? Somewhere stress free and totally liberating? Is there such a freakin place?

I feel like I wanna kick some ass. Or kill someone. Wanna run away. Escape. Be another person.

If only.

Whatever You Wanna Call It

This conflict between my friends... I dunno whether I should campur tangan or not. Seriously. But there's nothing much I can do anyway. Sigh. Why must they create all these tension between themselves? I've forgotten how it all began. What's the point? I dunno!!!! Cannot just live together in harmony meh? DENG~!

**
Suffocating. All these stress. It's suffocating. I can't deal with stress. Been emo these few days. Can't seem to lighten up. I've been ignoring him. Am I being too cruel? I dunno. Maybe it's better for both of us to forget about each other? I dunno. Maybe I shouldn't give him any hope since most probably nothing's gonna happen anyway? I DON'T KNOW.

OMFG! Over excited Like Hell

OMG someone commented on my blog!!!! HAHA sorry lar if I'm over excited but I thought that would never happen! Deng~! HAHAHAHA...

Crap

Sigh serious crap. Is this the first time I've cried over crappy results? I think so.

I can say that many did badly as well, but I just feel like that's finding excuses for myself. I have no one but myself to blame, I know. I just don't have the heart to study, and I wonder if I'm just plain stupid. Maybe even retarded wtf. I just feel so stupid. Like *knock knock* anything in there?? *echo* There's nothing in my head T_T.

Sigh. Feel like crap. I dunno how to face my parents. I'm ashamed. I dunno. What's wrong with me. Sigh.

Seriously every subject also didn't do well. Wtf. Sigh I dunno what I'm feeling right now. Cried in front of classmates wtf. Couldn't control myself.

I'm rambling again wtf.

Short, Not Sweet

Human relationships can be complicated. But does it have to be so? Incidents may be construed differently, as different individuals have differing perceptions. Is it that hard to just be open minded, and talk it all out? For the sake of peace of mind, for the sake of harmony, for the sake of preserving good memories.

Ignorance is bliss. But I can't help but to care a little as these are my friends, people I care about. And er, also cos I'm a bit of a busybody wtf.

Still, I just wish that there won't be so much conflict that'll distress my friends. If people emo, my mood will also be affected. What can I say, I'm easily affected wtf. Why can't we all just be happy, carefree, don't-give-a-fuck and stay that way???

The sucky realities of life wtf.

Denial Syndrome

Wah damn long didn't update hor.

It's not like I've anything to blog about anyway wtf. Thoughts would go through my mind... and I think maybe I'll blog about it but wtf after that they'll be forgotten.

Hence, nothing to blog about wtf.

Recently friends around me have been emo... mainly caused by stress I guess. Seriously it should be illegal to cause so much stress to us fucking innocent teenagers. We're still teenagers in the process of growing up man wtf. Why can't you all just get off our backs? Let us breathe, motherfuckers.

Seriously.

But recently I've been in the midst of major reality avoiding. That's why I'm not as emo and my friends are the ones emo-er wtf. FUCK STRESS. FUCK SAM. I don't care and I don't wanna care anymore thank you very much.

HAHA sounds like I'm in denial right? Ya maybe I am wtf. Whatever.

Why stop yourself from being happy? LIVE IN DENIAL I TELL YOU HAHAHAHAHAHA.

WTF.

Bimbo, Nerd or Loser? Coffee Tea or Me wtf

I have no fucking what I am anymore. Am I a bimbo? A nerd? A loser?

I thought I could be pretty bimbotic, because no, I don't give a damn about that global issue, or this political issue that is so hot on those grown ups' lips. I. JUST. DON'T. GIVE. A. FUCK. My mind is pretty empty all the time... hence airhead. I have no knowledge at all. I'm dumb and clumsy. I like to notice what people are wearing, particularly girls (cos guy fashion can be oh-so-boring, what the heck's with all the striped shirts man?). I'm as shallow as that petri dish you drew during your secondary school days. Doesn't that sound freakishly, horridly bimbotic to you?

But but... aren't bimbos supposed to care a whole lot about their own apppearance?? Like they HAVE to look drop dead gorgeous (to themselves, at least) before stepping out in the public? Even their nails have to immaculate before they dare to show their faces. Their wardrobes would be stuffed to the brim with the latest trends and hottest craze.

Well, let me tell you what I look like everyday.

CRAP.

So, am I a bimbo???




I'm definitely not a nerd.

Since I'm not entirely a bimbo... I'm between bimbo and loser? I'm inclined to think I'm evolving into a full time loser wtf.

Soon. Soon. That time will cometh soon.

TGI(Gonna Be)F?

Today is the day before Friday.

WTF.

It's Thursday and tomorrow I'll be going home and thus follows a week long of holiday.

I don't feel much. Except for extreme laziness of course. I've started to follow my instinct to neglect homework and college related stuff wtf. I am the queen procrastinator, after all.

I'm not really in the CNY mood... cos things haven't been festive for me wtf. Let's see if that changes during the holiday. I doubt lah. Since I'm sure... damn sureee I'll be reminded of my homework wtf.

Sumore I have to figure out where to get a second hand GC. Le sigh.

MCHCCBKNN

To the motherfucker who stole my graphic calculator AND my money,

FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm not good at cursing people. So I'll leave it to the experts (e.g. Fireangel).

Lesson learnt.

After The End WTF

Oh well. Guess I'm still alive after all.

So I've confirmed that NO ONE reads my blog. Since it was obvious that the previous post was my last words or something. HAHAHA. How pathetic! I was gonna kill myself and I left some words on mah blog and still, ZERO COMMENTS. HAHAHAHA. Which also makes it totally safe for me to post ANYTHING in this blog! Yay!

I dunno if I should feel happy or dissapointed wtf.

Anyway the previous post was thought up during one of those majorly depressed and gloomy moments. It's to prepare for the possibility of actual suicide, you see.

Sometimes one just feels oh so so so so tempted to jump. It's very very high up here. A sure death, I must say.

The problem's not actually with MY life, it's just I'M the fucking problem. I. JUST. SUCK. AT. LIVING. NO MATTER WHAT I JUST CAN'T SEEM TO FIND HAPPINESS. Don't you think it's my fucking problem??? I'M the source of my problems.

Maybe not that much is wrong with my life, maybe I'm wayyyyy luckier than a whole lot of other people, maybe I'm blessed with so many things that others can only dream of. Well, somehow, I am aware of this.

But still, I AM DEPRESSED. I SUFFER FROM DEPRESSION. Why? HOW THE FUCK DO I KNOW???

Don't you think it's better that the Earth is rid of some ungrateful, whiny, depressed cretin bitch like me??? DON'T YOU??? HUH???

Wtf. Who am I talking to anyway. Pfffft.

And by the way, IS MY NEW BLOG TEMPLATE FUCKING KICKASS OR WHAT???!!!

WHO'S YOUR DADDY? WHO'S YOUR DADDY?

HAHAHA doesn't Gerard look so so so HOT? And Frank? OOO LA LA~~

Sigh I miss them.

Wtf I should have totally customized my template earlier wtf.

Sumore, my friend actually asked me to watch National Geographic Channel to realize how lucky I am. HAHAHAHAHA that really made me laugh lor wtf! Imagine someone all suicidal and all that, weeping his/her eyes out... snot dripping everywhere wtf, and his/her friend beside shouts at him/her to WATCH THE FREAKIN' NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC CHANNEL DAMNIT! WATCH ALL THOSE AFRICAN CHILDREN STARVING AND DISEASED!!! And then the suicidal person would be forced to watch (while eating popcorn wtf).

I dunno why but the thought of that scene just made me laugh lor! HAHAHA wtf...

Anyway, do you think watching National Geographic would actually help get rid of my suicial tendencies? NO LOR!!! Wtf... Sigh malas nak argue wtf.

Before The End

I feel like jumping off. Or leaning over till I drop. So that it looks like an accident.

I've always wanted to jump. I want to feel the wind against my skin. I want to feel the LIBERATION. The feeling of freedom at last, in this restricive society.

What will go through my mind when I'm falling? Regret? Peace at last? Well there's only one way to find out.

People'll ask, what made her jump? What was her OBSTACLE? Couldn't it be solved?

Well, her obstacle was LIFE I guess. So how do you overcome life?

I don't enjoy living. I just suck at living.

Life SUCKS. And that's an unavoidable reality.I guess I'm just tired of that.

Life IS suffering, so the Buddhists say. So why not let it end earlier?

I've never known what it means to live life the fullest, and I guess I won't have a chance to find out now.

I chose the cowardly way out. I'm a coward, I admit it. Are you angry at me because of that or because you don't have the guts to do the same?

Ironic. That it takes guts to perform a cowardly action.

This won't matter. Friends and family will eventually move on. They'll get on with their lives. My demise won't bring any impact.

I'm tired. I'm sick of this. I wanna leave.

Sayonara people.
***
I'm falling
Down...
Down...
Down.
***
I'm leaning
Leaning...
Leaning...
Whoops.

1 2 3

I is back. Just felt like blogging.

Well, nothing much that I can think of right now. Except.

IS IT FUCKING HOT OR WHAT???? I'M SWEATING ALL OVER!!!!

And I'm also in dire need for a haircut. My hair's like having its own agenda or something. Not long and not short. I look like a freaking lion. If only I'm not so lazy to haul my ass to a barber's chair.

Speaking of barber... WHO WANTS TO GO WATCH SWEENEY TODD??

It has Johnny Depp in it bebeh! Singing! OOO LA LA~~ NOT TO BE MISSED!

What else?

Oh yeah.

I IS FUCKING HOT!!!!!!!!! WHAT KIND OF WEATHER IS THIS LA???

Sumore! I wanna go to Jakarta on the 31st!!! MCR is having a concert there!!! ARGHHHH!!! I WANNA GO I WANNA GO I WANNA GO!!! Can anybody sponsor me??? And take care of my accomodation, transportation and all the shiznit??

OMG PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

*sob sob* Not being independant sucks. If I were already working, I would have booked a flight ticket to Jakarta by now. Le sigh.

Side note: Really lor! I feel like I'm becoming more and more juvenile! What is with this reverse growth? HOMG is it my super power? I should totally be in HEROES! By the time I'm 20 something I should be acting like a kindergarten-er! What is the purpose of this super power I have yet to figure out.

Over reaction

Oh ya, although I is very sleepy now, I still wanna ask a question. That I'm sure runs through many people's minds.

WTF ARE ALL THESE 'KEBISINGAN' OVER FAIZAL TAHIR'S LIL STRIPTEASE PERFORMANCE???

WHY WAS SUCH A BIG DEAL MADE OUT OF THAT??? HUH HUH HUH HUH?

He's supposed to be a rock star right? And what do rock stars do? THEY INDULGE IN SEX! AND DRUGS! AND TAKE OFF THEIR FUCKING SHIRTS WHENEVER THEY WANNA!!!! ROARRR!!!

He has only done the third action, and now see what has happened wtf. I SIMPLY CANNOT TAHAN. NEED TO HAVE SO BIG REACTION MEHHH??

Sigh. Still, no one says it better than Audi Mok. Or shall I say, no one is more qualified to delve into this matter than him. http://batdude.blogspot.com/

Side note: I've been using damn lot of caps lock lately... why huh? It seems that the older this blog gets, the more juvenile I become wtf.

I HATE

People say, count your blessings. I say, fuck that. Like that's gonna help with anything.

Therefore I say, count the things you hate!

I HATE STUDYING THINGS THAT I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT

I HATE LIVING LIKE A ZOMBIE

I HATE THE ENGLISH COURSE THAT I'M TAKING RIGHT NOW (I DON'T hate English, but I'll get there if this stupid dumbfucked course pushes the buttons too much)

I HATE BEING DEPRESSED

I HATE HAVING TO DO THIS FOR 1 MORE YEAR, OR MAYBE EVEN 4 TO 5 YEARS.

I HATE THAT I DUNNO WTF AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE

I HATE BEING IN A 'SCHOLARS CLASS'

I HATE THAT THERE'LL BE 2 PTMs THIS YEAR

I HATE HIGH EXPECTATIONS

I HATE NORMS (e.g. girls should always be sweet, well-mannered and gentle wtf. I SAY FUCK THATTTT.)

I HATE MYSELF

I HATE STUDYING THINGS THAT I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT, AND HAVING TO SCORE AT THEM

I HATE THAT I'LL PROBABLY LET THEM DOWN

I HATE NOT BEING ABLE TO BE WHO I WANNA BE

I HATE NOT KNOWING WHO I AM

I HATE INSECURITIES

I HATE GROWING UP TOO SOON

I HATE NOT BEING ABLE TO DO WHAT I LIKE

I HATE MY INABILITY TO STAY HAPPY

I HATE PEER PRESSURE

I HATE THAT THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS THAT I HATE

I HATE THAT THERE'S NOWHERE TO VENT ALL THESE PENT UP HATRED AND RESENTMENT

I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE!!!!!!!

RAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

***
By the way, recently I discovered this blog, http://cupofbittercoffee.blogspot.com/ and a post that just really suits me right now.

Title? "UGAARRHH!!"

Content?
"UUUURRAAAAWWWWRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I HAAATTEEE MYY COLLEEGEEE LIFFFEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee !!!!"

With a photo that just, SAYS IT ALL.

HAHAHAHA SERIOUSLY THAT IS SO ME RIGHT NOW!!! I HAATTEEE MYY COLLEGEEE LIFFEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeee TOO!!!!! RAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWRRRRRR!!!

He's like the male version of me!!!

Except that I'm not as into heavy metal and I'm not as hardass.
HAHA. Me likey rock 'n' roll bebeh!!!

And I don't play the drums. Or any sort of musical instrument, for that matter.

And I don't have an industrial piercing.

And I haven't dyed my hair before. And I don't have a kickass girlfriend. And... blablabla..

Er... OK, so maybe he isn't the male version of me after all. Heh.

"SPITE"

I have learned a new word, and that is SPITE.

Well I've came across this word before of course... but I didn't really took the effort to 'mendalami & menghayati' the word.

Now, I have.

Just because I have done a few things purely out of fucking SPITE.

During weekends, I refuse to go out. Whether it's to the supermarket, the cinema or whatever. Just because there are always loads of homework to do. Let's not get into the I-deserve-it-cos-I'm-queen-procrastinator (therefore have to finish whole week's homework in 2 days wtf) shit ok?
So, these shit load of work dampens my mood kao2. SO, I don't wanna step out of the house out of pure spite. Sorta self punishment maybe? Perhaps this spite is directed towards myself after all.

Even when my mom wants to bring me to shop for CNY clothes... I decline. OUT OF SPITE AGAIN. BECAUSE I'M DROWNING IN STUPID WORK THAT I CAN'T SEEM TO CONCENTRATE LONG ENOUGH TO FINISH AT ONE GO. I use the whole fucking day to complete.. a quarter? Half? Three quarters? Of work. This further fucks up my mood. And I'm depressed and grumpy and bitchy therefore I unleash my bitchiness upon innocent souls wtf.

Therefore, I have lost the desire to go shopping for new clothes. OUT OF SPITE. Buy what new clothes lar... NO MOOD LOR CAN? FUCK IT. IMMA JUST GONNA WEAR CRAPPY OLD CLOTHES CANNOT AR. I DON'T CARE. HMPH.

That's what I resolved to do lor. But my mom bought some clothes anyway. Le sigh. Not in CNY mood lar.

WTF I don't even know what's the point of this post. Does it even make sense wtf.

Need I Bore You With Another Lame Title

When was my last blog post again? Oh that's right, eons ago wtf.

Well as usual there's nothing much to blog about.

-College sucks. BIG TIME.
-I'm whiny. And depressed. And depressing wtf.
-MCR kicks ass.
-Tonight, I resolved not to sleep.

And oh yeah, some people actually believed that XX went for a sex change operation? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! I CANNOT TAHAN!!!
Like, WTF???
Please la people!
Use your blain use your blain~~! She clearly blogged that out of boredom/lacking of things to blog about/whatever

Haih. Is there anymore hope left for this world. With people like this.

Q: "How many sides does a triangle have?"
A1: "Damn. Four?"
A2: "There are no sides.*quick reply* One?*tentatively wtf*"

Q: "From which state did KFC come from?""
A: "What, you mean the chicken? I dunno... I really don't know.."
Q: "OK... do you know what KFC stands for?"
A: "Kentucky Fried Chicken?"

Q: "What currency does the United Kingdom use?"
A: "*shocked*...*mutters gibberish wtf*...*hyperventilates wtf*... I.. I don't even know what the United Kingdom is! Is it the Queen Elizabeth's money? That's all I know.."

Q: "Where is the Berlin Wall?"
A: ".......................... (ponders seriously)(for God-knows-how-long) Believe me, I dunno the answer to this question but I'm thinking! ...... (continue pondering)

HAHAHAHAHA!!!! Americans are NOT stupid!!! Ok perhaps I shouldn't laugh at people's ignorance cos I sure as hell ain't Miss-Know-It-All... but... but.. IT SURE AS HELL IS COMFORTING TO KNOW THAT THERE EXISTS PEOPLE WAYYY DUMBER THAN YOU ARE! WOOHOO!

It's true... I felt better after watching the video. HAHAHA.

Incomplete

There's actually a lot of things in my mind right now, that I wanna blog about... which is pretty rare hor -_-. College, rock band, celebrity fascination, recent Europe tour, emotional opposites... geez. I hope I don't bore myself by the middle of the post wtf.
**

First things first, tomorrow, HELL starts all over again. That thing people call college. T_T. Sure as hell it sucks. Hell, this year's gonna suck so much more than last year. Sigh. And being the depressed whiny bitch that I am, I predict that there'll be bucket loads of tears too? Well, you know things sure won't start well when I'm already being so pessimistic. LOL.
**

MCR (God, I'm in love with their "Kill All Your Friends" right now) has sparked this desire in me to FORM MY OWN FREAKING ROCK BAND. HAHAHAHA... me? This person who doesn't even know how to play a single musical instrument? (except maybe the recorder. Eons ago.) Who has the vocal range akin that of William Hung? (ok... maybe I'm not that bad? I mean, who is??) Well, it's just a current dream la.

OMG MCR has totally inspired me to just ROCK ON bebeh!!!

I wanna play the electric guitar! And the drums! And sing! HAHAHA... basically form a one man womangirl band wtf. I'm an attention whore in disguise and just wanna hog all the attention wtf.
No lah, it's cos I just plain wanna try them! Jamming the guitar! Beating the drums! Singing my heart out! OMGGGGGGGGG

I wanna go crazy on stage and just plain rock the HELL outta people!

I wanna scream like a banshee!

I wanna head bang like there's no tomorrow!


Our band's purpose would be simple : to HAVE FUN and ROCK THE WORLD!!!!

Yeah baby! *holler*


Ooo! Ooo! I'll name the band Pessismistic Optimists or something like that. Cos no matter how bitchy we are, no matter how bleak are our hopes on the future of this world, there still lies a tiny optimist in every one of us... yeah?

Or, I could name it as simply ROCK ON BABE!. And we would be known as ROB! HAHAHA...

Or, if I'm thick-skinned enough, we would be Mum Cooks Rats.. just so we can be another MCR!!! Hahahahaha.. wtf.. and prepare ourselves for the flaming we will face wtf. We'll be called posers, wannabes, fags, losers etc etc.
HAHAHAHA wtf....


In a nutshell, all I wanna do is go completely NUTS while we're performing on stage! Go wild! Let ourselves go! Let all hell break loose yeah!

I sooooooooooo wanna dive into the crowd!

Oh ya, I'll design the costumes for the band. Nyahahaha...

OMG!!! Can you feeeel what I'm feeling right now?? This aching desire!


OMG my heart aches for this to actually come true!!! When I'm fully aware that there's 99.99% that it's not gonna materialize. :(


At the end of the day, all we wanna be, are ROCK STARS.


C'mon, admit it!
**
Whoa it's already 5:40am, should I continue blogging or go to sleep?
**
K maybe I'll just blog about one more thing.
The Europe tour.
Perhaps I'll just strip it down to the essence.
- A hell lotta Europeans smoke. To keep warm during the winter perhaps? Wtf.
- Piles of shit are everywhere. Dog shit, human shit, who knows? Why isn't it like that over here? lol
- I constantly felt like a foreigner. It's like being constantly reminded that I didn't belong there.
-It was fucking cold some days, and bearably cold some days.
-Nope, didn't see any snow. Boohoo.

That's basically it wtf. The essence... brought to you by bullshit.

Imma go to sleep now.

No Title Required

I'm feeling restless. I feel like I should be doing something, but I just can't get my ass off the chair to do anything. I hate this sensation, where my heart feels like its being clenched. It feels like a rock. Heavy, very heavy. I feel suffocated. All I wanna do is rip my heart out and scream.

Why am I like this?? I don't know!!!

I haven't found what motivates me in life... anything that keeps me going. Sometimes I feel so... dead inside. Dead dead dead. I have no fucking idea what I'm doing, why I'm doing it or who am I. Clueless and lost. And alone.

Hey, you know what. Those could have been song lyrics.

**
Sometimes I feel so DEAD inside...
Dead
Dead
Dead
No fucking idea what I'm doing
Why I'm doing it
Who am I?
Clueless and lost...
And alone
**

Chicken Bag

Ayam bagggggggggggg!!!!!!!!!!! (copied from FA)

Bag from where? From the U and the K babe!

Well not really in the mood for cheerfulness right now cos I watched a bit of a very, very disturbing video and I shudder just thinking about it. Argh get it out off my mind!!! And it was only a few minutes that I watched before I couldn't take it anymore and deleted it. I'm horrified to think what would happen at the rest of the video. Oh my God. And I wonder how the hell did that get into my laptop in the first place??

Arghhh! Enough!

And I shoudn't be blogging right now cos I kinda sorta promised myself I would sleep by 3am today. Ah what the hell.

Oh crap. I forgot what I wanted to blog about. So I guess it's time to sleep after all wtf.

Sigh. Good morning people.

OMG Freaking Orgasmic!!!!!

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG

ORGASMIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TOTALLY FREAKING ROCKIN'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MCR!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! I was screaming my freaking lungs out cos you guys totally brought Stadium Merdeka down!!!!!!!! You guys totally rocked yeah!!!!!!!! YEAH BABY!!!!!!!! FUCK YEAH YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST BAND OUT THERE!!! HAHAHAHAHA!! Totally agree with you Gerard!!!

And omg!!!!!!!! Frank WAS there!!!! OMG!!!!!!!!!! I didn't actually realize that you know!!! I thought it was somebody that REALLY looked like him wtf... how much dumber can I get??!! And I didn't hear Gerard saying that only the drummer was replaced!! Why couldn't I have heard that, stupid??? OMG Frank was totally rockin' baby!!! Head banging kao2!! So damn YENG!!! I hope that your family problems (just found out about that) can be resolved soon baby... sigh...

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT WAS THE BEST EXPERIENCE OF MY WHOLE FREAKING LIFE!!!

Of all the freaking years that I have lived... I LIVED FOR THIS MOMENT! I LIVED FOR THIS CONCERT!!!

OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!! I CANNOT STOP I'M ON A FREAKING HIGH!!!!!

I jumped and jumped till my stomach hurt! HAHA! What lousy stamina I had! I wanted so much to jump more! To SCREAAAAAAM more! To feng my head more! (But was afraid to feng too much sweat to people surrounding me and annoy them lol, but heck it was raining la so sweat or rain oso nobody knew lar HAHA) To fling my arms more! But it was sore after being up in the air for too long.. haha! By the way, for people who were in the Red Zone, yours truly was the one with cacat right hand cos only 2 pathetic fingers were painted with black nail polish HAHA and I had on my freaking cool punk rock bracelet. Really yeng and gangster-ish one. HAHA!

By the way being in the Red Zone totally RAWKED!!! Even though we weren't at the very front of the crowd, the closest ones to MCR (damnit), we could totally see them clearly!!! Save for some moments when we were blocked by those tall tall guys lor (Cis). And Red Zone people were totally into it bebeh!!!! Yeah bebeh!!!!
EXCEPT. For these 2 bitches that kept on smoking and puffing smoke deliberately to other people's faces. BITCHES. MUTHAF..... I thought one was a tranny but it was just a bitch that looked like one. Pffft. Tranny. Why live when you look like such a drag queen? Oh so that's why you're smoking la? WTF DO IT ELSEWHERE LA BITCHES COS THIS IS A FREAKING CONCERT AND THERE ARE PEOPLE WANTING TO RIP YOUR GUTS OUT RIGHT NOW AND I DON'T GIVE A FUCK IF YOU DIE OF LUNG CANCER AND ROT TO DEATH ON THE STREETS IN TRANNY SUITS. But don't cause other people to have lung cancer too with your stinking second hand smoke BECAUSE we wanna live to see another MCR concert. Ma Cibai. I wanted so much to beat the crap out of them but I figured I could be dragged out of the stadium so I didn't wtf. Why didn't anyone beat the crap out of them????

Gerard totally RAWWWWKKKKKED!!! I'm amazed that he could maintain his voice throughout the concert! I was already so freaking tired and couldn't scream as much as I wanted (haha), but he went on and on! Jumping on stage, screaming kao2 and all that! OMG HE WAS AWESOME!

Heehee! Mikey, Ray and the drummer totally rocked too!! Oh oh Ray did a guitar solo which was freaking awesome and cool!! Yeah baby!

Mikey said "hello" to us when Gerard asked him to say something! HAHAHAHAHA!

The drummer? Need I mention?? Although I didn't know who he was (malu aje), he was essential to the concert!!!! (refer to previous post haha)

OMG did you notice my hand Gerard?? You looked my way for a sec! HAHA!

Ok ok... here are the songs they performed that freaking AWESOME night, not according to the correct order (there were a few I didn't know ):
songs from The Black Parade!!! Except for "The End" and "Disenchanted" (yer... why didn't they play "Disenchanted"?? :( )
I'm Not Okay
Helena
Cemetery Drive
You Know What They Do to Guys Like Us in Prison
Desert Song (I know this cos Gerard introduced it HAHA. Haven't heard it prior to the concert, but it was GOOD!)
and some I couldn't recognise... hehe

Which makes it at least 16 songs!!!! We wanted more! We wanted more! We totally wanted more!!!

I am ashamed to admit that I didn't know the lyrics to all their songs.. boohoo... for me their lyrics are damn hard to memorise leh! Dunno if it's because of the length of their songs, my lousy memory or cos I can't really 'mendalami & menghayati' what they're singing about. Hehe, but still, I HAD A ROCKING GOOD TIME BABEY!!!!

I had so much fun (measured by how much jumping I did HAHA) at Teenagers (They say all... TEENAGERS *JUMP!!!!* HAHAHEEHEE!!!), I'm Not Okay (jump jump jump jump jump all the way!!!), Famous Last Words (omg this was totally ROCKIN' it deserves a paragraph by its own HAHA), and Cancer was DAMN AWESOME. No other words to describe it but AWESOME (must be in caps lock hor). Some more! When there was the first 'ding!' for "Welcome to the Black Parade", everybody went NUTS!!! It was all WHOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! HAHA damn it was AWESOME. Can't stress that enough.

OMG. Famous Last Words. It was totally INSPIRING and MOTIVATING and ENERGY-GIVING (HAHA wtf dunno how else to put it but you get my drift right?) When everybody went "I am not afraid to keep on living!!!! I am not afraid to walk this world alone!!!", I was jumping and flinging my arms and in my mind I was like "Hell YEAH!!!! I'm not afraid to keep on living!!! WOOHOO!!!!!" OMG damn climax (wtf not orgasm hor, buden you can liken it to that oso HAHA) you know???? As I said, my stomach was hurting when I jumped and my arms sore from my raising it for too long, but I mustered my strength to jump jump jump and fling fling fling! For MCR!!! It was for you guys!!!! And cos the song gave me the energy and drive to do it!!! HAHA! (Dramatic kao2 wtf)
It was apt to be the last song of the night, but HELL we totally wanted MOREEEE!! We were craving for more!!! We didn't want to leave argharghargh!!! Come back guys and do another song! Or mebe two! Or three! Or Four! Argharghargh!!!

Conclusion? Even though we were sweating, totally drenched in sweat and rain, tired from screaming and jumping and arms were sore.... we had a fucking AWESOME time!!!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!! OMG why did it end so fast??? (They started at a lil over 8pm and ended at 9 ++)

OMG PLEASE COME BACK FOR ANOTHER CONCERT MCR!!! BOB FASTER NURSE YOUR BROKEN WRIST!!! I WANT ANOTHER TIME OF MY LIFE!!!! I WANNA RELIVE IT AGAIN AND AGAIN!!!! OMG GIVE ME SOME MORE ORGASMS!!!! HAHAHAHA!!!

So Excited I've Peed In Mah Pants Muahahahaha

Can you just FEEEEEL the excitement?????!!!!!

Omigosh!!!! My Chemical Romance!!!! Gerard Way!!!! You're so hot when you sing with exaggerated expressions!!!! The way you contort your face... the way you open your mouth... love it! Har har, seriously leh.. not making fun of you. I do find you kinda HOT, you know.

Mikey Way!!!! You look like your brother, so you're HOT too. HAHAHA. And also cos you play the bass guitar, which is totally cool. (I just simply say say one, actually I don't really know a thing about music) What would MCR do without you. Totally.

And ooooh!!! Frank Iero!!!! That way you flung your hair in the music video for 'I Don't Love You'... can I hear HOT, people? It had me besotted! I simply had to watch it again and again!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHA...

Too bad that you're not gonna be in the concert, Frank. Sigh, gonna miss your hair flinging. Damn when can I see you do that in person? Sigh.

YES BITCHES.

You heard me right. This biatch right here is going to the MCR concert today!!! Imma so excited!!! WOOT!

Don't envy me just cos I'm going... and you're NOT. Muahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!

Ray Toro!!!! LOVE your hair. Hoho. And you play the guitar really well (There I go again).
Bob Bryar!!! You're the drummer!!! Which makes you so very essential to the band!!! I'd say the most defining moments in a song are during the climax drumming sessions. Like when all the while the song's playing, there's just the background drumming, something like dum-dum-dum, but when it comes to the chorus part or what, there would be a really cool utterly gut-busting (School of Rock, hehe) DUDUM-DUM! BIDIBAMBUGUBANGA-BANG!!! Some more! These moments would have people (read: retards like me) trying to imitate the sounds!!! HAHAHAHA!!!

HAHAHAHAHA!!! That sounded totally retarded! That's because I'm so freaking excited!!! (Excuse wtf. Actually it's due to my lousy writing skills. Muahahahaha...) But anyway you got my drift right???

Too bad you're not gonna be in the concert too, Bob. Heard you're nursing a wrist injury eh? Well nurse it FAST. And force the band to come back again for another concert just cos you missed it the first time. Muahahahahahaha.... And use the excuse of "because I wanna perform to the Malaysian audience *wet puppy eyes*"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Seriously. I've gone crazy. Cuckoo.

Please please pleaseeeeee don't let it be a letdown. But then, this is my first ever concert. Nothing to compare it to right? Therefore nothing to worry about!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

*I apologize for the multiple exclamation marks and question marks, that's how hyper I am at the moment. MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!*

About Moi Again (Now We're Talking)

After all the emo-ness just now, I shall proceed to the next thing I wanna blog about wtf.

Is there a saying that goes like this, "What doesn't kill us makes us stronger"?

I dunno what got me thinking about it. Could be my dad, cos if this taking-on-more-than-he-can-handle shit doesn't kill him, he'll become stronger see? Or so I hope. Either that, or it could be Kanye West's "Stronger".

Woot!

"Work it
Make it
Do it
Makes us
Harder Better Faster Stronger"

So anyway, it made me think... have I grown stronger? Am I a stronger person compared to the school girl that cried non stop in the school toilet countless times?

By the way, crying non stop is a sign of weakness to me. Totally.

Sigh. I'd like to think that I've become stronger since then... but who am I kidding? I basically feel like the same ol' same ol'. The same weakling that broke down God-knows-how-many-times. Depression could have killed me. It could have driven me to suicide or what. But it didn't. (Cos I had no guts to actually commit the act. Har har) And did the dark period make me stronger? Honestly I dunno... And I'm inclined to think 'No'.

Because I still break down once in awhile. I still have no inkling on how to deal with stress and pressure. I don't feel that I've gained wisdom or strength.

Why haven't I grown??? (T_T) All those tears I shed for nothing? wtf

And speaking about pressure, I have discovered something about myself. (One step closer to self discovery, woohoo. -_-)

Just a simple fact that, I DON'T WORK WELL UNDER PRESSURE.

Well it works the other way for some people. For some people, the more pressure they're in, the better they can work and the better the results they can achieve. Like when they can only work when it's nearing the deadline, and they'll still manage in time with wonderful results. (Gosh I envy/hate these people wtf)

But that's not the case with me. Nah-uhh. When under pressure, I procrastinate. Procrastinate like nobody's business wtf. Procrastinate as if I have alllll the freaking time in the world. When in reality I have everything except time.

I'm the champion procrastinator I tell you. Blogging is one of my procrastinating activities (PA), actually. And reading blogs have been a major, MAJOR PA. I blog hop, re-discover forgotten blogs, and read all the archives wtf. I swear, it's as if I have nothing else better to do. (But I do damnit!!!)

Or I Stumble. Yeap, Stumbling can be pretty time-consuming. Just cos of the fact that one can go on and on and on and on and never tire, as there are infinite interesting sites to stumble upon! (Long live the Internet!)

Or I watch tv. Once I start, I can't stop wtf. And the shows I watch are mostly on at night, so by the time I finish watching it's like 'eh, so late already ar. so what do I do now. I should finish my work. but feel like reading some blogs first.' HENCE THE VICIOUS CYCLE CONTINUES. -__-

Boohoo. Somebody stop me please. Procrastinating is like such a self-destructing behaviour. Yet one can't help surrendering oneself to it.

What is wrong with me??? *Hysterical*

I Simply Cannot Tahan

You know what, after over 50 years of living, one would think that the person would have control of their life already. But NOOOOOOOOOO...

See, it's my father. He's retired, but is currently "busier than when he was working", or so he says. He's totally into stock market and investment and all that (which I don't give a shit about), so he's sitting in front of his laptop everyday doing his thang. Even with that, he complains that he's "so busy, nobody can help me... sigh sigh sigh" (guess we know where the sighing genes come from huh) bla bla bla.
Basically he whines whines whines (same goes for the whining genes -_-), even though this is supposedly he's "only passion" or "only hobby". One thing I gotta say is, since it's your freaking passion why the hell do you whine so damn much? It's what you love to do right??? And stop complaining that nobody's there to help you lah, it's your business so please just manage it yourself ok. You're the one who wants to get involved in all these stuff. Don't drag me into it wtf.

So, since he's already complaining so much, and has his hands full already (is that correct?), one would expect that he wouldn't put more shit onto his plate right? Right?? But, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO... he gets himself involved in this trust fund thingy!!! And he has to sit for dunno what shit exam!!!

Thus, ensues the crap load of major whining and complaining and bitching: "I don't have time, you know!!! ... can go commit suicide edi!!!" 'I don't want to live my life' and similar shit like that (wa, seriously he kinda sounded like me wtf)
MOTHERF------... -____________-
WHO THE HELL FORCED YOU INTO THIS?!?!
YOU GOT YOURSELF INTO THIS SHIT AND NOW YOU'RE BITCHING ABOUT IT???
OMFG!!! I CANNOT TAHAN!!!
WHO ASKED YOU TO AGREE TO THIS SHIT IN THE FIRST PLACE???
STOP UNLEASHING YOUR BITCHING POWER ON US!!!

Seriously!!! (I know I'm damn emo right now) You've bitten off more than you can chew. And whose fault is that? YOUR OWN!!!
As if you weren't aware that you were already occupied enough (cos you're constantly reminding US about it), as if you weren't aware that you would have too much to handle.
I don't know, aren't you capable of controlling your life already?? After over 50 freaking years of surviving in this world?
You've willingly submitted yourself to more misery and stress!!! And us to more of your bitching and whining and moaning! AND sighing!!!
I mean, why do you do this? Accept more responsibilities that you can handle, then bitch and moan about it to us?!
I CANNOT TAHAN!!! I SIMPLY DON'T UNDERSTAND!!!
It's not even like you're obliged in any way!!! So why bring this upon yourself!!! ROARRRRRRRRRRRR!!! (-_-)

WHY??? TELL ME WHY???

Arghhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! Thinking about it just makes me super gerammm!!! Grrrrrr!!!

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?????????????????

*heaves**pants*

(walao this was a super bitchy post, guess it just runs in the family huh.
Now imagine us being submitted to that kind of horror everyday. Or almost everyday. -__-)

Bow to Ze Old Wise One wtf

Another day. Another post. Wow it's like I'm setting a record or something wtf.

You know what, there's a hell lot of stuff to do in this world. Well I'm not talking about changing the world and stuff. I'm not even talking about volunteerism. Or picking up the rubbish on the roadside. Ah what am I talking about.

What I meant was, there are a lot of things to fill our spare time with (mengisikan masa lapang wtf). BUT people (myself included, hehe) complain that there's nothing to do all the time. Whine whine whine. They exclaim "There's nothing to do around here!!!" and similar shit like that. Well genius, find something for yourself to do lah wtf. When there's a will, there's a way wtf.

I dunno, go learn some new skills or something. Go out for a picnic (har har. Ain't over my crave for a dose of Mother Nature). Go fly a kite. If you don't own a kite, make one. If there's no wind, well find other stuff to do that doesn't involve wind la wtf. Go hiking. Just take a stroll around the neighbourhood. Get out, for God's sake.

Ok if you really just want to stay indoors, start baking or something wtf. Crafting. Dancing in your underwear. Singing karaoke. Simple age old activity of reading. Among many other activities. Heck, even household chores can fill in your time what.

The reason why I didn't mention the usual indoor activities like watching TV, surfing the Net is cos probably there's nothing to watch anyway or you can't think of anything to Google about. Because that's probably the reason why people end up oh-so-bored anyway. Most people resort to these two activities when they having nothing else better to accomplish. Therefore, when the TV and Internet seems mind numbingly vapid and dull, people resign to their fate and vociferate "There's nothing to do around here!!!" or something to that effect.

But I digress. My whole point is, there's a whole lot to do in this world. Climb a tree or something. Go on an adventure! Be spontaneous! Get crazy! The world's your oyster! (wtf is this even used correctly) Get your butt off your bed (this actually refers to a friend) or pathetic chair and DO something about your boredom! Just because of the fact that there is so much that you can do.

(Wow, maybe I don't have a totally cynical and pessimistic outlook on life after all. Do I actually think that there's hope? *gasp* That... that there are beautiful things in life? *double gasp* That life's worth living sometimes??? *OMGGGG*)

And, did you notice that, a whole lot of pee-ple (enunciate that in a condescending way wtf) who claims that they're bored until-can-die consists of freaking teenagers???!!! It's like our genetic markup is programmed to make us feel bored every 5 minutes. That's when you hear the ever so popular phrase of "Hou sien arghhhhhhhhhh!!!" (translated to: very boring arghhhhhhhhhh!!!) Maybe it's the short attention span. We lose interest in things we're doing pretty fast. Or maybe it's cos most adults own cars and can drive to anywhere they want to jalan2 when they're bored, and children amuse themselves anyway so they rarely feel bored (or they just don't voice it out that much).

OR. Perhaps it is cos we are not proactive enough in spending our free time usefully/meaningfully. We dunno how to search for interesting stuff to do. All we pretty much know how to do is whine and bitch and moan about it.

Like when it's the holidays. Have you forgot how you were damn looking forward to it? Haven't you thought of the things that you'll be doing then? Weren't you just dying to get away from school / college?? BUT. When it's FINALLY here. When it's FINALLY blessing you with free time, you start feeling 'omg I'm like so fucking boreddd' 'All I do is eat and sleep!'

I mean, WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!?! Relish in the holiday spirit for God's sake! Do those things that you were dreaming of pre-holiday! Most importantly, appreciate your freaking hard earned holiday wtf cos it's gonna end just like that *snaps fingers*! And you'll be craving for another holiday that time when you're forced to study and finish ass crack assignments, and the vicious cycle continues wtf.

Wisdom of the day (wtf): Of all the things you should be doing during the holidays, feeling bored shouldn't be one of it (applies to studying too; and having assignments to complete wtf). And hell yeah I prefer a boring holiday over college ANYTIME.

I tell you ar! These people! Cis!!!

To Sum It Up : A Lot of Crap

Gosh. I'm blogging everyday now? Can't remember when was the last time that happened.

It's the wee hours in the morning again. I practically whiled the day away when I should have been diligently and frantically finishing my assignment.
Why am I so fucking hopeless like this???
Why can't I bring myself to complete it once and for all because you have a freaking timeline to take note of bitch.
I don't know!!! WHY????????
The clock's definitely ticking and mind you, you're no Hiro, you can't stop time ok. You can't shut your eyes and arrive anywhere or anytime you desire. Or more accurately, you can't break the space/time continuum (whatever that means).
Heck, it's already freaking Wednesday!!!!
Oh my Gawd can someone just do me the favour of killing me.
And you have to be done by what, Saturday? Please lar hurry up lar!!!

Ugh. I sooo hate myself sometimes. No wait. How bout friggin' ALL THE TIME. Bitch.

* * *

Sigh. I wish I could write. Like freaking touch people with what I write. Be inspiring. Make people want to read more. Make people think 'hey, she's damn good!' or plain 'Wow'. Ah, but those are nothing but wishful thinking. I guess an insecure, self-loathing 17 year old won't be able to write to save her life?
I wish I could be funny and charming in writing too. Some people just pull that off effortlessly. It's already in them.
When I read back on previous posts, I mostly cringe and think 'oh God wtf why do I write like that' Seriously. Why?
I'll feel ashamed and be grateful time and again that nobody actually reads these shit. Cos if anyone did, he/she will start convulsing immediately. I doubt anyone can stand more than one sentence.
See, even the author seems to be embarassed. (Just like how a teenager can get damn embarassed of their parents sometimes.) Apatah lagi other human beings. Pffftt.

* * *

On a totally unrelated note, do you sometimes think that parents exist solely to put you down? To discourage you, to convince you that you aren't actually as good as you think you are. Well it's probably unintentional, of course. Maybe not wtf.
Well, has that thought slipped through your mind before?
I'm asking that cos it has, for me. More than once. Well this probably requires some elaboration and I could provide them, IF I could write well wtf.
If only I'm a master with words. I could type all the crap I want and still have people peruse it wtf.

Or have you asked yourself the question of why must parents impose their own beliefs or interests in their children? WHY??? *desperate tone wtf*
Look, just because we share the same DNA or genes or whatever crap with you doesn't mean that we ARE you.
Is it a crime to be a little different? Is it a shame? Aren't we separate individuals with different minds? You can think for yourself, I can think for myself. You feel what you feel, I feel what I feel. We are different sentient beings!!! I cannot stress that enough.
So all I need from you once in awhile is a lil STFU (for those unaware, it stands for Shut The Fuck Up). Is that too much to ask for?

Yes, you brought me into this world. You are responsible to take care of me because of that. Because hell, I didn't ask to be born in the first place! And I should be grateful you actually brought me to this shit hole? Yeah well thanks a lot. Pffffffffft. Oh yeah that sounds mighty ungrateful and disrespectful, I know. I guess I have a lot of pent up angst and emo-ness after so many moody years. It could be a phase.

And stop asking if I love you. Cos I pretty much have to. (-Jake, from Two and a Half Men) And you pretty much have to love me too. But I'm not even sure what love means or how it feels.

Sigh. I could blame everybody I want. Except for myself. For turning into this depressed, depressing creature. Cos it's my freaking blog and nobody reads it. *emo*

* * *

What is freaking wrong with the weather nowadays huh? It has been sweltering!!! Nothing short of scorching or melting. Results in constant pespiration, body odour, sweat patches, cranky mood and search for effective cooling methods (i.e. bumming around, cold victuals, dozing off etc [not that any of these proved effective wtf]).

And since moi wakes up in the afternoon, like 1 or 2pm, one wakes up immersed in numbing heat waves. The hot air practically cranks up the Fucked-Up-Mood-O-Meter and forces one to get up even though one yearns to get some more shut eye, just for a fewwww more minutes (translate: half an hour or an hour).
I tell you, the heat, the unforgiving HEAT envelopes you and renders the fan useless. It causes every part of you that isn't exposed to the air circulated by the fan (wtf dunno how else to put it) to break out in sweat. To be mi-cro-waved. And that's still an understatement.

So I wonder how could some Malaysians actually hate snow (!) after they have gone overseas. *gasp!*
Maybe after the novelty of it wears off, they just realise it's just frozen water and that it permits people to pee everywhere? Wtf.

Hidden Love for Mother Nature wtf

Argh. Arghhhh. ARGHHHHHHHHH.
I don't wana do this stupid assignment la wtfffffff.
HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE

Recently I've been yearning to get in touch with Mother Nature, you know. To enjoy the scenery, the tall luscious green trees, soft oh-so-plush grass, fresh cooling air, bright sunlight that just beckons people to run outside and twirl around playfully. You get what I mean? Wishing my neighbourhood to become more like Wysteria Lane, i.e. so green and bright and sunny (though all sorts of dark, but interesting nevertheless, things happen there wtf)

And I wonder, why the sudden craving? Why the sudden urge? Hell if I know, maybe I've lost touch for too long or maybe it's what I absolutely need right now. Like how our bodies would make us crave for some food when we're deficient in its nutrient?

And talking about food. -_-. WHY THE HELL DO I ABUSE MYSELF BY OVEREATING WTF. The binge eating have all gone to my tummy, thighs and butt wtf. OMG the flab! Really cannot tahan lor. Blame it on PMS wtf. But it may be some other underlying issue. It's just how I deal with emotional issues I guess. I eat eat eat and EAT. And by GOD do I eat a lot of unhealthy crap. I eat a lot of bread, for example. Well bread's not unhealthy per se, but moderation is not in my dictionary wtf. I really do chow down on a hell lot of bread, resulting in an overdose of carbohydrate and refined sugar. End result = fat fat FAT!!! I swear I have so much stored fat in my body right now, I can compete with a whale T_T.

Thus, I have resolved to at least try to control my humanly-impossibly-ravenous (making me non-human T_T) appetite. No more supper. Not so much bread, please. More fruits? Most importantly, NO MORE SUPPER. *stomach groans*

Please lah, stomach... I wanna look slim and slender (don't forget to mention HOT) for Gerard Way, can? Muahahaha...

Sigh. No mood to do assignment lar. Go to sleep lagi bagus wtf.

OMG I Need to Get a Life + It's 4:12 am la What Do You Expect (Excuse wtf)

Phewwwwwwwwww!!! That was close! Managed to dodge Mr. 2nd option without a scratch! Man, someone needs to get laid! So cranky wtf.

See, it's times like these that I'm thankful my blog has zero readers thus making it really a private online journal. People thought that would be an oxymoron but no nooo.. I have proven them wrong. DEAD wrong. I have accomplished a feat like that. Hence, I am a genius wtf.

Times like these meaning times when I wanna blog but have no inkling what to blog about and start to ramble like there's no tomorrow wtf. Hey, I'm aware that I'm no Lim Su Ann ok. I can't just plop my ass somewhere and churn out great crap like she does. Ok la not great crap but really great stuff. Satisfied? What I can churn out however, is worthless, worse than crap strings of words? Aw come on... it's worse than that?

So what? It's my blog and I can do anything about it. I can fill it with all the stinking crap I want and nobody can do anything about it. Bwahahahaha... Unleash the terror!!! Wtf -_-.

Truth is I also wish I can write like her la, but I can't ma. My writing is like this ma... cannot meh? And I also wish my life's as interesting as hers la but what to do? I'm a boring old fart ma wtf.

Oh ya yours truly is heading to MCR's concert on 9th Dec!!! WOOT! Rock on bitch!!! ROCK ON!!! Will maybe blog about it if there's chance. Don't you envy me bitches wtf.

OMG I Need to Get a Life + It's 3:50 am la What Do You Expect (Excuse wtf)

Hey heyyyy I'm backkkkkkk!!!! wtf sounded like an annoying squeal.
So, anyway. I read other people's blogs. Made me wanna blog too.
But, moi have nothing interesting to blog about!
So what does one do? Er, post nude photos of one online I guess...

WTF. Seriously. You think I'd do that? (provoking response from non-existant crowd) One doesn't even HAVE nude photos of one!!! (If got also won't tell you la wtf)

Sigh. Do I blog about something profound... while listening to BEP's "Shut Up" and trying to bring my ass to complete le stupid assignment. None of that evokes anything profound in anyone la. Once again, yours truly is here to blog but have nada content. So she shamelessly asks dumb questions to fill in the space. Filler questions, you see. Fuestions. Ha. Ha. *shifty eyes*

When one is alone in the living room listening to BEP's "Mama" and is in an attempt to finish moi's nerve-wrecking assignment and er, blog at the same time, what should one blog about?
a) impart some useful knowledge at least once in awhile la bitch
b) for fuck's sake please stop blogging alogether and spare us from the agonyyyy
c) I'm here to remind you for the second time to STOP blogging la biatch... don't make me come back for a third time please.
d) I'm kind. I'm the 3rd option actually but Mr. 2nd option usurped me to give you a second warning so now I'm 4th option. I'll give you a chance to redeem yourself. Just blog about something coherent and worth reading at least. FAST. I don't like the look on Mr. 2nd option.
e) MUTHAF#$%$^%$* !!! WHAT THE HELL DID I TELL YOU!!!

*post abruptly ended*

< insert supposedly witty title >

At this ungodly unGODly hour, what thingamajig could I possibly have to blog about? Some sort of deep revelation? Sudden euphoria? Share some random knowledge of the week, perhaps?

Exactly. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Nil. Zero.

But still, here I am blogging about... nothing.

Cos I'm mou liu like that. And cos I miss blogging, can??

Don't you believe me? Not even a bittttttt?

Ah, what the heck. Who cares. You don't even exist, for God's sake!

MCQ & James Blunt (so wholesome! wtf.)

At this ungodly hour, should I be
a) sleeping
b) God forbid, studying or
c) masturbating wtf wtf

Well, option a) is the correct answer, the logical and rational answer. b) is the ethically correct, righteous answer wtf. It's what I should be doing when I'm not sleeping, see? And c)... is an option I have not and will not choose wtf.

But instead, here I am blogging my ass off wtf. Damn I'm so hopeless at studying nowadays. Skipping classes... procrastinating... NOT STUDYING for finals wtfff.. I'm HOPELESS, I tell ya!

It's like, I'm already totally 'desensitized' towards exam... maybe will 'gan jeong' a bit la.. but that's it.. I don't really care about the marks anymore.. I don't give a fuck already.. Care factor = 0 wtf.. Haiz. Numb already. -_- <-- Bored like hai face.

Side note: James Blunt's newest album- All The Lost Souls totally rocks! Oh I meant.. rawks! bebeh... it totally grew on me the more I listened to it!! That started off with 'Same Mistake' cos I heard it from 'Private Practice'..
My favs are 'Same Mistake', 'Give Me Some Love', 'I Really Want You'...

I Crave...

Today, boys and girls... yours truly have finally gained a new knowledge...

the art of tying a tie!!! albeit in a cacat way wtf. But still, I now know the moves la.. wtf faster say that in a dirty way.. da MooOOVES bebeh.. shit I've officially gone crazy wtf.



Sigh. Tonight. Or this morning, whichever pleases you, I feel like having a companion beside me.. to chat and drink tea and snack on scones with. We'll be basking (wtf) in the moonlight, and enjoying the night breeze, while we talk about deep stuff, like life... the meaning of it, the banality of it, the excitement of it, the quirkiness of it. We'll feel so much comfort and gain relevation from our conversation, so much so that we'll want it to go on forever, wishing that time can just 'stop right at this moment'... ahhh.. I'm so lucky to have met you, my friend..



Sigh. I've never had moments like these. Or have I? And I just took them for granted? Why do I suddenly crave for this? Is it because all along my life have been filled with nothing but insignificance??



Sigh. I do not know. I feel like crying now. Not loud sobs, but let silent tears stream down my cheeks while my throat fills with that feeling of mounting pressure.

Bloggie, it's been a long time. Forgive me.

I Need Dark Chocolate

How I wish I could write like pinkpau. She just has this undeniable talent to write! Man, I envy her la. It's like the world's her oyster, but she does experience bouts of sadness... I wonder why.

I wish I could just dive in my brothers' minds sometimes, and find out what they're thinking. To me, we don't seem like a happy family. I mean, we don't seem to be happy people. My impression of us is we're grumpy, whiny, querulous people. Or maybe it's just me. I know I can be really grumpy and have mood swings all the time. So, I wanna dive into their thoughts and see if they're really unhappy as I am. If they are, why? Is it our problem? We're just dysfunctional like that? I think I'm trying to justify my own moodiness here. Playing the 'dysfunctional family' card. Am I sad or what.

Man, sometimes I just feel I have this wild child inside me just waiting to burst out. I wanna dye my hair bright red, put on some rock chick attire and paint the fucking town red. Wanna do whatever I want, and don't care about what other people think. Be an ECCENTRIC. Sometimes, I hate the fact that I really care about other's opinion about me. It's kinda hard to be happy with myself this way. If I intend to release my inner wild child, I really should do it during my teenage years, cos there won't be any chance to do it when I'm all grown up and working. Except for maybe in the future I work in the media industry or art industry. Sigh, but the future is unpredictable.

How and when will I feel at peace with myself? How and when can I achieve equilibrium? Am I gonna live forever like this? I don't know how long I'll last...

Vignettes

I'm like, so defected in writing already.. wtf was that even grammatically correct? I lost my already quite non-existant ability to write. I found out about this through a couple of essay writing exercises I had to endure during my time here. T_T...

I feel like blogging but I have nothing to blog about lar.. why am I so boring.

I wanna go shopping.

I suppose I can write about my feelings.. A-effing-GAIN.

Oh, or.. I suppose I can talk about the few pairs of earrings I bought yesterday... Ahhh.. nothing like the therapy of shopping.. particularly of buying superficial stuff.

OR.. I can elaborate on the neverending supply of homework I have yet to finish. Or perpetual tests. Whichever you prefer. How about another dose of super-mega-'fan' assignments? Not enough? Have another taste of nerve-wrecking presentations.

I'm so choppy nowadays right? Why is that so?