Monday, July 26, 2010

When Boredom Strikes: An Endless Strike

Wow who knew that the next time would come so fast?

The main reason being that, I'm so. fucking. BORED.

Bored out of my skull, my skin. Oh God it's like I've reached a whole new level of boredom which is strange, cos nothing much has changed since the last level of boredom. Where oh where then did this excruciatingly mind-numbing, soul-sucking boredom come from???

Right now, I am the very picture of demotivated. All of the subjects I'm taking this sem are so fucking dry. I don't know what would be a wet subject but er... you get my drift. I can't even bear to go through a few sentences of any of the freaking textbooks before wandering off doing something else... which is usually nothing. Another preferred activity would be clawing my eyes out.

As you might realize by now, this site ain't gonna offer anything more than the ramblings of an ex-teenager. That's right. It's ex-teenager now. What age is 20 anyway? Not yet adult, not really teen age (unless you insist on it wtf). Limbo age. Limbage wtf.

Whatever age it is, it just serves to remind you that there are younger people out there who've already achieved so much more than you have, probably more than you ever will. Depressing, isn't it? Bah, facts of life dude.

Violentacres wrote that she thinks she's out of stories. Which is a pity, really. I remember how I got to her site. I was searching for a female Maddox haha. I wanted to know if there was a female equivalent of Maddox whose site could rival his in awesomeness. Violentacres wasn't exactly Maddox-like, but it got me hooked. Her stories, particularly those about her mother... will leave one speechless. Sigh.

Is it pathetic that I talk about these sites that I go to? Yea I think it is... I think it is. *nods slowly*

And I've mentioned this before a long time ago I think, but I miss isorule. I wish Jay didn't privatise his blog. Such a fucking entertaining blog it was. By a gay Malaysian who lives in London (if things haven't changed) nonetheless!

Ah I have no idea where this post is going. I don't have any stories to tell. Oh maybe just one.
That day I went grocery shopping, and ended up in one of the most mortifying situations one could ever end up in at the cashier.

Can you guess what it was?

Yes! You guessed it right! (Unless you guessed wrong wtf)

I didn't have enough cash to pay.

True story. I have no idea how I ended up getting over $120 worth of fucking groceries. Luckily for me, the cashier was pretty nice about it. Either she had come across doofus customers like me before, or she herself had been in the situation and completely understood. I'm just glad that she wasn't bitchy or snarky to me. Thank goodness!

I don't know if I should elaborate wtf cos it's pretty lame. I ended up having to give up two items. Well at least it wasn't half of the stuff I took right. I was like a few dollars short, including the coins I had in my purse. Yes. I stood there taking out coins and she was counting how much they added up to. Again, she was pretty nice about it. Again, thank goodness!

What was the point of telling you that? Beats me. As if I don't seem lame enough as it is. As if I don't humiliate myself enough over here. Sigh.

I'm still bored.

Can someone tell me why I'm still sleepy in class even though I had like 8 to 9 hours of sleep? I can't even wake up at 9 am these days, let alone 8. I hate morning classes.

Have I told you, that I fucking hate winter? Yeah, winter fucking sucks. People over at Malaysia would probably say oh c'mon you know how fucking hot it is here or not ma hai. Ya I know lah ma hai. I hate crawling into a fucking cold bed every night, waking up to a fucking cold morning and enduring the fucking cold outside. The fucking weight gain. Urgh. Electricity bill skyrocketing cos of heater usage. Urgh.

Sure, experiencing winter when you're from a tropical country could be alright for a few days when you're on vacation, but enduring it for fucking months just sucks balls ok. It sucks balls. Man, I don't ever wanna live in a country with four seasons wtf. I prefer just visiting places with four seasons, thank you very much. And this is just Sydney, imagine what'd happen if I were in let's say Canada wtf. I'd probably kill myself.

Man I fucking hate winter.

(Whoa I ended up sounding so whiny in this post wtf)

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Why hello

Holy schmoly it's been half a year! I don't know why I don't just delete this whole thing. Perhaps I knew that one day I'd be back and come on it's kinda hard to just delete everything. Even if I really do stop altogether someday, I think I'll still leave this up. Just for the sake of it. To be an eyesore wtf.

So what brought on this sudden comeback? Ah... I don't know. Someone whose blog I read came back after 6 months too. She's been blogging on and off for 5 years, she said. Well it's been 4 years of on and off for me. Probably more, cos I deleted the previous one. I can't remember when the first one started.

People, I have no idea why all of a sudden I happen to have 3 followers. Hmm one I'm pretty sure is a spam bot or whatever, but I'm still not blocking it yet cos hey I like having more than 1 follower. Haha. Another I'm not too sure about... Moongirl. In her profile it says that she's an artist and writer living in Australia. In what unfortunate circumstances did she chance upon this thing (I don't even wanna call it a blog anymore), in what delirious state she was in to click herself into being a follower, I have no freaking idea. It's probably a mistake. *Shrug*

The other, ah hah. I've been reading you since I don't know when. If my memory serves me right, I've wished you happy birthday twice. Meaning I stumbled into your blog 2 or more years ago? Holy camoly how did time pass so fast? And the third time is coming in 2 days time. Man, just... man. I remember once when I was crying my eyeballs out in my room. You gave me a link on youtube to watch Gangster 15. Haha I never did finish watching it you know. But you said that the guy didn't kill himself in the end, so that's all I needed to know I guess.

I have not ranted in such a long time in this space goodness gracious! The need to rant suddenly struck me last night and I messaged my good friend a rambling, ranty message in the midst of trying to sleep. Who do you go to when you need to rant? That moment, I missed being able to message him anything anytime, especially in nights when I couldn't sleep. It could just be lyrics to a song, nonsensical stuff, anything. It was like I had unlimited credit. No I don't think we could ever go back to those times anymore. It would be kinda like opening old wounds? But nah, not as painful as that. It's just that we've moved past that I guess.

A kick in the butt. A fucking kick in the butt. Most of the time, that's what I need I guess. I should really use my own advice. My dear friend and I, we're an ocean apart but we're basically dealing with the same core issues. We're stuck. Stuck. Self-inflicted or not. I type out these pep-talky messages, trying to comfort and provide support, but at the same time I feel like such a phony cos I don't even use my own advice. Such a big fat phony. Hmm this the first time I'm admitting here that I'm a phony, and you know what comes to mind? That dude in movies with man boobs wearing that brown corporate suit and red striped tie and carrying that briefcase. That dude that screams phony. Or maybe he just screams fat. I think I may have been watching too many shows lately.

Oh talking about shows. There's this latest guilty pleasure of mine. It's Hung. It's like watching porn with character development and a plot. When the first boob scene made it's appearance, I wondered wow do they really show this on TV? And when more revealing, steamy scenes came on, I was like wtf they really show this on freaking TV? Incredulity ensued. Cos where I come from, those scenes would be cut right off. And all that's left would be an OK show. A pimp that can be annoying sometimes and a man whore that needs to get his house fixed. Yes the sex scenes make it so much better. Oh I feel dirty just typing about it wtf. Oh and when the first vagina made its appearance, I was even more like Oh you gotta be kidding me!! This is what that's shown on TV these days?! Or maybe Ive just been watching the wrong TV shows? Ah.

Enough about that ahem. I know you're interested, so just go download the show already aight. Moving on, I wanna mention the super manly Old Spice guy! Quite an ingenious ad campaign! Just youtube old spice and you can watch him respond to questions in the funniest, most random way. "Monocle smile!" Simply, hilarious. That deep, soothing voice of his and the way he says Hello. Love it!

I think that's it for now people. Till next time? I don't know when the next time will be. And my Internet connection is beyond fucked up now I'm just waiting for it to connect so I can click Publish Post goddamnit. Since it's still disconnected, perhaps I can just mention that I watched the Notebook just now and wtf I cried like a baby in the end. Does love like that even exist I ask you? When old Noah lost old Allie and she was screaming for people to come... heart wrenching. Sniff.