Saturday, November 28, 2009

Fuck pubes! What the hell do they do anyway?

I should totally shave my pubes off.

Sorry if I disgust you.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

What is with me?

Why do I keep hoping for a heavily tattooed guy to whisk me away in his car to a mountaintop, where there will only be silence, the stars and us.

Oh heavily tattooed guy, will you ever appear? Or are you just gonna remain as a figment of my imagination forever?

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

心跳的感觉... 真的存在吗?

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Chronicles of Narnia... Not

What is this? Chronicles of me learning how to drive?

Indeed... this is what this site has become wtf. So I can recap on all the mistakes I did and learn. If anybody's still reading this shit, you'll have to SUFFERRRR.

So, 4th time. New stuff: going into a roundabout.

Recap!

  • Change gear often. "Cannot be lazy!!!!" (Ok maybe he didn't say it with so many exclamation marks but c'mon, for a beginner behind the wheel, EVERYTHING is amplified. Whether you learn from your mistakes, that's another thing wtf)
  • Hill. I think I'm getting a little better at this. Still, what I drove on ain't as steep as the test's one so have to work on it some more. Then remember, "Sustain!! SUSTAIN!!!" (Ok this one not really amplified, basically he's imploring for me to sustain the gear then press the gas)
  • Stop the time, even when on level ground, safer to use hand brake. Cos I'm still a noob. Stop on a slope, use hand brake lah duh. And pull hand brake hard enough. Then do the stupid hill thingy again.
  • Stop. Look around for cars. Get ready to move, react fast. Got car, wait till it just passes then can start moving already ok! Janganlah lambat-lambat, then forever got car coming and cannot move wtf.
  • Roundabout! I've learned that I dunno shit about sticking to my lane lol. Huh lane? What lane? Wtf. Shall illustrate this later.
  • LOOK AROUND FOR FUCKING CARS DUH. Cos I'll be trying to focus on what I gotta do and seem to forget/ ignore/ don't care that there are in fact other cars moving around and I could in fact be banging one of them if I ain't careful.
Mahai. So many points to recap.

And the nagging, oh the nagging. I mean I'm sorry he has to nag so much cos basically I'm the one causing it but sometimes just wanna tune the drone out ya know.

Illustration time!


























Sorry bout the cheesy title, am finally going through the last HP book, which is surprisingly griping.

So basically I didn't even know which lane to go to , after going into the right lane, and turning round a few times to get the feel of it. My dad was asking me to turn into one of the roads, I just turned. No signal, no driving to the left lane, no nothing. Should've checked side mirrors and all, made sure it was safe to turn, signalled to the left, react fast and went into the left lane. Stick to your fucking lane. Undang should've learned this right but hell that was long ago and in theory of course easier to remember lah, got diagram for you to see some more. "Oh which way should Kereta A go blablabla."

Then another sticking to your lane scenario. Me noob lah. Walao what I learned at Undang like flew out the window after passing the Undang test.



So here my dad asked me to turn right, then I turned into the right lane, thought he meant do what the pink-crossed line shows lah. Sigh I know right. It's like I know nothing bout traffic rules or whatever. Huh traffic rules? What's that? Wtf.














That's basically it, I guess. What I learned today. Maybe he's bringing me out again after wards.

Not so scared of it anymore, but still not liking it either. Rather avoid it as much as I can wtf.

Baby steps. Baby steps.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

More often than not, I scour blogs for posts that are contemplative and make you ponder, cos other people just seem to express those same feelings better than I ever will.

I think a part of me just hopes that one day one of them will chance upon the secret of life, or something like that.

And we can all share the knowledge and stop being lost.
You're asking me why I stay in my room most of the time?

HAIYA to avoid you people la duh!!! I rather die of congested air or something than facing the stress of dealing with you people wtf.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Emm okay. So I had my third driving lesson with my dad just now.

I guess it's getting better... hey at least I'm not crying now right? So that's what you may call progress.

I have yet to master multi tasking wtf... there's a lapse of attention the moment I change gear and have to steer at the same time.

And then the slope thing. Balance point (G spot, whatever you wanna call it), release hand brake... need practice for this to be smooth smooth smooth... Mind you it was just a teensy little slope. Test the time need to drive on hill sumore wtf. Practice I guess, nothing but practice.

Stalled a few times. Erm at least I went to the 5th gear this time. Just to get the hang of changing gears. Somehow I have this problem changing to 3rd gear wtf. Noob, I am.

And my steering is a bit off haha wtf. Cannot turn sharp corners smoothly yet. A bit slow.

So, recap:
- Multi task. Eyes on road at all time! (Wtf I don't even look at the mirrors. Okay must develop habit of looking) Feel the gears baby... Feeeeeeeeel it!
- Get the hang of steering. Hands on correct position... if not kena marah lol.
- Get the hang of slope thing.
- Get the hang of changing gears (ESPECIALLY 3rd gear). Know when to change. And to what. (When you slow down do you go to neutral and brake? Or you downshift. Instinct is to downshift but a little search on the Internet says it's better to go neutral and brake cos downshifting wears out the clutch. And clutch is more expensive to replace than brake. Tell me, people who drive.)
- No panicking of course. Panicking doesn't do anybody good. But me noob, still get nervous one.

Okay this is only my third time. I shall get better at this. Practice makes perfect right! And if all else fails, there's always the option of bribing wtfff... but parents won't do that :(. Okay what the fuck am I talking about I haven't even had my official driving lessons and I'm thinking bout the test already. =.=

And now my back aches a little wtf. Damn driving is tiring! Or maybe it's cos of my tension huhu wtf.

Erkbye.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Man, it's just stressful being around my parents.

I've learned that the way to survive in this household is to be as inconspicuous as possible. Just stay out of harm's way. And just shut the fuck up.

It's a self-preservation technique I've picked up. To save oneself from the frustration, and stress.

I mean. Dude, sure I love my parents. I care about them and all that. But hell they cause me a lot of STRESS!!!.

Whoa those basic HTML stuff learnt at school didn't go to waste after all wtf.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Holy crap why is learning how to drive so scary T______________T

I now understand why my bro drove at 20-30kmph when he first got his license wtf.

Holy shit HOWWWWW I DON'T WANNA LEARN BUT CANNOT DON'T LEARN WHO CAN SAVE ME WTFFFFF I'M SCARED SHITLESSSSSSS TOMORROW HAVE TO LEARN AGAIN GAAAAHHHHHHHHH HELP ME I DON'T WANNA WAKE UP T____________T

SIGH SIGH SIGH SIGH SIGH SIGH

Seriously.

You know what happened today?

I got home right. Seemingly normal. Suddenly it hit me. Like out of nowhere. This urge.

TO CRY LIKE A MOFO.

NO KIDDING.

I WENT UP TO MY ROOM TO CRY!!! AND SUPPRESS THE URGE TO CRY.

FUCK THIS SHIT!!!!

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?

CRY EVERYDAY AS LONG AS I'M LEARNING HOW TO DRIVE??

WHAT IF I NEVER GET GOOD AT IT??

WHAT IF I FAIL AT IT FOREVER AND EVER????

I'LL CRY?? IS THAT WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN??? I'LL CRYYY?????





T________________________________________T


I sound like a pathetic wimp but I NEED A FREAKING PLACE TO VENT TO REVEAL HOW TRULY SCARED I AM WTF AND WEAK I KNOW I KNOW!

I dunno what to feel right now. I'm down. Dreading tomorrow. Dreading what comes next.

为什么人总是一定要做自己不想做的东西?

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

I'm so goddamn sleepy right now but I have these images in my head.

Of stars, of vast fields, of engulfing darkness, of tranquility.

Of writing, of inspiration, of swirling vortex, of pulsating calmness.

I'm so goddamn sleepy right now

but all I'm doing is being vague.