Wednesday, April 30, 2008

End This Shit

Ladies and gentlemen here I present to you another reason EndlessStupidLubbish pisses the fuck out of me. Investigative Studies Tutorial. OH YEAH MOTHERFUCKER. I don't know why must they put us through all these crap either. To prepare us for future similar crap I guess. Fuck yeah I'm gonna bitch about it. Hell if I care. I bitch about stuff, that's what I do here duh.

So let's all disregard all the mind numbing, practically useless, supposedly consoling bullcrap like "it's gonna help you in the future" "you're gonna have to face these stuff in the future anyway" "you have to develop these skills... for your future..."

OH FUCK THAT SHIT. Notice how all of those concern bout the future? Look at me ---> -___-
DO I LOOK LIKE I FUCKIN CARE BOUT THE FUTURE? I'm living in the present wtf. Let me worry bout the future when it gets here wtf. Or if I even arrive into the future wtf.

In case you didn't get my tone, let me emphasize what I'm thinking right now.


Get it now?

So yeah I'm a whiny bitch. So sue me. Fuck if I care. *sulks*


Monday, April 21, 2008

Cold and Hungry

Didn't realise that the last post was the 111th post. Damn nice number eh.

Well I'm in the computer lab at the library. Damn cold wei. Why does it feel like the North Pole over here. T_T. I'm hungry sumore. DAMN hungry. I wanna eat burger wtf.

Saja wanna update. Eheh.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Just Smile

It's been a long time since I churned out anything contemplative and introspective. Well I'm not even sure if I had posted anything like that before wtf. Probably there's nothing much to be introspective about. Or, you can put it that nothing much goes on in my mind heh.

Not exactly moody today, but not exactly all smiles either. Let's NOT get into the fucking MindlessYuckyOmfgmotherfuckinglypointlesswtfccbknnBusiness. I shall NOT bitch about it. LOL.

I find it harder and harder to find words to express what I'm thinking. Or, you can put it that nothing much goes on in my mind too wtf. I've written a post before about sustaining one's own happiness. It sorta went like if everyone could sustain their OWN happiness, not having to live for others or to satisfy other people, wouldn't that be great? Everyone would live happily ever after.

But humans being complex creatures, of course things won't be as simple as that. You think we're living in a children's book meh. Where everything is colourful and vibrant and nothing could go wrong. Or everything will turn out fine in the end. As people say, REALITY SUCKS. I guess we have to live with that.

For one humans are interdependent (wtf too much Econs isit) after all. They are social creatures. How they feel, how they think are influenced by what others feel and think too. It's difficult to be happy when people surrounding you are not. It's hard to be elated when people around you are having problems or are creating some. And when you are somehow caught in the middle of all the problems, bickering and unpleasantness, of course you'll feel down and disillusioned. There goes my theory of sustaining one's own happiness.

But can't it be as simple as that? You are responsible for your own happiness. Your own feelings. Nobody can feel on your behalf. If you wanna be happy, then just be so. Make yourself happy. To hell with other people's problems. To hell with all those conflicts. And hating someone may be harder on the hater than on the person hated. So why hate? Why trouble yourself?

It could be easier said than done. But just try anyway. Just smile, even if it's just for a sec or two.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Just Read

I have exactly 10 minutes to finish this post! Cos I have to be punctual and go down for dinner with my friends!

Just wanted to say, even though deep in our soul there's still emptiness, experiencing stomach cramping laugh-out-loud moments still beats living like a total zombie!

That took like 3 mins wtf.

Laughter is supposedly the best medicine. One does feel better after laughing till the stomach hurts! But what to do if it's just temporary relief? I say just enjoy the moment I guess!

It doesn't solve the core issue. The problem still exists. Perhaps laughing it off is just a means of evasion. But ah, what the heck. I guess life's too short for us to be figuring out the answer to everything.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

The One Where It Could Have Been

Being one who often dwells on what-could-have-beens, I may annoy the hell outta people. But just layan me a bit lah hehe...

What-could-have-beens, similar with what-ifs and if-onlys, would most of the time spark regret and induce a major load of sighing. And today, yours truly shall be bringing you back to what could have been if there wasn't any scholarship wtf.

One major factor that keeps me alive in that place is the great friends that I have made there. Yup I'm sincerely glad that I've had the chance to befriend these people. They make my days all the more bearable and happier. ^^ (Walao first time using this emoticon, rare occasion indeed wtf) Needless to say, I <3 THEM! LOL. So if we all didn't get JPA and became classmates we wouldn't have had the opportunity to meet? Well, not neccesarily...

For one, I know that my room mate would be studying at where I would be studying too, at let's call it RAT College wtf. And the same course too! So chances are we would have met all the same. Same goes for another guy classmate Cintan LOLOL.

Plus my "WIFE"! She'd go to RAT too but for a different course... that doesn't mean we won't have any chances of interaction though! OK, the scenario in my mind is she and MY *cough cough* will have some progress since maklumlah they'll be seeing so much of each other at college being in the same course and all hahaha... sure they'll participate actively in all sorts of events together hahaha.. including eh eh ACCOUNTING NIGHT! Perhaps that would be the time when we would meet! HAHAHA! In short the world is small and if fate allowed it we would have met anyway... hehehehe right right???

Who else! I'm guessing "SO" would enrol in RAT too! Cos her bf is there ehehehe.... And many others since RAT is goddamn freakishly popular! One, it's easy to get in lol and its fees are relatively affordable I guess.

But too bad I won't be able to know V V W W! As she would be continuing her studies at another college hahaha... I 'heart' her too!

I don't know bout the others! Why suddenly I'm overdosing on exclamation marks wtf!

HAHAHA actually this post kinda pointless also I just wanted to get it out of my system hahaha... that fate works in mysterious ways or some deep crap like that lah lol. And I won't be losing out much if I didn't get the you-know-what lah. This post started off serious but ended up like this! Cos of my "wife" lah! LOL~

Shall end this before I further butcher your mind with my mindless crap! LOL~

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Abruptly Ended

Seriously fucked up stressed!!!!! To ponder over the next few weeks is enough to make the most optimistic person suicidal wtf. T_T. Am scared, tensed, petrified, stressed, mentally exhausted all rolled into one.

The fact that human beings have the ability to think, contemplate and mull over stuff may be a blessing an curse at the same time. BECAUSE, after the routine, after the running around, people start sitting down and think. About what? The age old fucked up question of "WHY THE FUCK DO I EXIST???"

Hobbes had a pretty straightforward answer for Calvin. "Because you were born."

Yeah, we are here because we were born. It could be as simple as that. But humans being humans with "advanced" grey matter, they are not content with just that answer. They think that there MUST be a REASON for their existence! If not why did they evolve from primitive Neanderthals to the modern supreme beings they are today?

Thus individuals will begin to search for the cause they are living for. Like "I live to have fun!" "God created me to fuck!" "I am here because I'm hot!" and so on and so forth. On a more serious note, basically ya lah people will start to wonder why do they exist on this vast planet called Earth.

With no thesis statement and topic sentences, this post seems to lead to nowhere wtf.

So anywayyy, me being a human too, I do the same and ask why the fuck am I here. Or more specifically, currently I wonder why the fuck am I studying what I'm studying at where I'm studying.

Sigh. The End.

Lazy to continue. Shall go eat dinner now.

Sunday, April 06, 2008

Childhood Trauma

So today when I was bathing right, somehow a reserved memory sufaced in my mind... more like traumatic memory...

This happened a long time ago, when I was still an innocent wide-eyed adorable girl...

My dad just came out of the bathroom dripping wet (wrapped in towel duh), but there was still the sound of someone showering in it...

That time I was looking for my mother, so innocently I asked my dad: "Mummy leh?"

Dad:"She's bathing..." *points to the bathroom he JUST CAME OUT FROM*

Instant thought?

Oh. My. God. I. should. have. known. better.

For those who've met my parents, please DO NOT conjure up images of them bathing together!!!

Highly disturbing. God knows why I had to recall this. -_-

Saturday, April 05, 2008

ZOMG I is Fail

Heehee made further changes to my header!!! ZOMG it looks fucking cool can???

I can't believe I spent precious hours customising my blog that nobody even reads! It's already 2.40 pm wtf! Am I a failure or am I a failure! But it did give me satisfaction yo!

p/s: Hopefully my friend is not down with dengue eh! Fast fast get well and come back to college (@ hell hole) wei~

Friday, April 04, 2008

She Woke Up From a Dream

She woke up from a dream, and the day was still bright although it was night.
The dream she couldn't recall, but it didn't give her any fright.
Still dazed and groggy, she got up from bed,
and looked into the mirror to see her eyes red.
Despite that, she felt unusually fine,
like she just downed a glass of great wine.
And so she put on a sun dress and a great smile,
thinking that going out on such a day would be worthwhile.
Out on the streets everything seemed perfect,
The weather amazing and the congeniality of people was neither forced nor fake.
There was no pollution, there were no worries,
Only her thinking about making potpourris.
She tripped and she hopped,
blithely, she tripped and she hopped.
Reaching the end of the street, she stopped.
Pondering on where to go, she couldn't decide on a stop.
Even on a perfect day like this,
where nothing was amiss,
she realised... that she had nowhere to go.
Suddenly she felt empty, and cold.

She woke up from a dream,
Dazed and groggy, she wanted to scream.

Kickass Layout

Was kinda down but am feeling better cos I played around with layout and voila! It's freakin AWESOME!!!!

I mean just take time to appreciate the header man... it's Gee in action! Are you affected by the spirit of rock 'n' roll yet huh huh??? And the kickass guy with the guitar could be Ray, judging by his hair, or it could be Frank! Judging by his tattoos haha... OMG one just wanna abandon all responsibilities and ROCK with them woot!!!

I also adjusted the width of the body cos it was a little too narow for my liking. Made subtle changes to the font, and changed my blog title too. Now, instead of the self-indulgent and wordy (but still kickass) title, you get the one word-7 syllables title that just sums it all up. Am retaining my profile cos it still rings true.

Le sigh, take time to appreciate it... again I should have done this earlier -_-...


It's hard to be content with yourself when you feel absolutely stupid/ unworthy/ slow/ lembap.

Again I'm linking him cos he just echoes my thoughts sometimes.