Tuesday, October 20, 2009

"It's true hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance?" - Ronald Reagan

Haha. Tell me about it, Ronald.

My top time-wasting sites:
youtube, Cracked, blogspot wtf (as in all the blogs I read)

And today, I think another site has joined this category: listverse.com


From Top 10 Modern Human Addictions:

#10 Laziness (Ahhh the chord couldn't have been more struck)
"Anything which involves effort is often repulsive to these people; who will always find ways not to bother; and can lead to them deliberately turning down opportunities for the sake of the quiet and the mundane."

Oh my God this sounds totally like me LOL.

Friday, October 16, 2009

Nothing new today. Totally wasted the whole day doing nothing again.

But anyway. Just now I had a tummy ache and the next thing I know shit was blasting out of my a-hole like it was a fire hose and the toilet bowl was a house on fire.

It was the kind of one-off diarrhoea session where you get nauseated and you feel like you're gonna puke any second. And you contemplate, if you really do puke are you gonna do it on the floor? Or are you gonna get off the toilet seat and barf into the bowl like you should, with your unwiped exposed ass hanging in the air like a mofo.

Yeah, it was that kind of crap. Ya get what I mean?

To spare you the suspense, I ended up not puking. These sessions are always riddled with fake forecasts of regurgitation.

But the question of the day is, why doesn't diarrhoea work like barfing? You know, cos as I remember after barfing you instantly feel wayyy better like wow you miraculously recovered from whatever shit you were suffering from. You feel lighter. (Wow maybe I should become bulimic wtf). Anyway I can't remember when was the last time I barfed but I sorta recall after-barfing effects as being that way. Correct me if I'm wrong.

The opposite goes for diarrhoea, cos after the first blast you don't feel instant relief. Oh no. No no no... you feel more pain. More nausea, and maybe a bit dizzy, and to top all that your asshole burns. Oh hell yeah it fucking burns. As though it was a nest of fire ants or something.

And the more you crap the more you feel like 'Oh God I'm gonna die... God help me...'

It'll only be some time after which you'll feel better enough to crawl back to your bed and in my case, go back to trawling the Internet wtf.

With your shithole still burning like nobody's business.

At least that's how it usually goes for me. Maybe it's different for you cos you shit rainbows or something. Holy crap if you do, do share the details!

Damn. I end this post with this note: if only diarrhoea were more like barfing, you know what I mean?

Thursday, October 15, 2009

You know you have no reason to wake up in the morning when you... well, just don't wanna get out of bed.

Today I feel in need of a cry session and a big tub of chocolate ice cream.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009


Seriously, I'm all for going back home and all but...

I wonder how to explain to mah parents when this sem's results end up way shittier than last sem's?


And you people wonder why I appear offline most of the time wtf. When I chat with my parents, they sureeeeee will end up asking about studies one. SUREEEEEEE ONE! *high pitched voice*

Sigh how ar.

Use the old "my dog ate my homework" excuse?


If I were to be honest, I could just say, "Seriously, can't you get that I'm just a lazy old bum? I'm fucking lazier than your everyday sloth, I don't give in the effort required, seriously I don't even try anymore, I don't attend lectures anymore, and if attendance weren't marked for tutorials I may have skipped even more classes, I don't start on assignments till the last last minute (yes mum, I DILLY-DALLY a lot), I take zero interest in what I'm supposed to learn, I look like crap and do a crap job at being a good student. Well basically I'm all of the things that you two would show contempt towards."

"Don't you judge me."

Ok fine, judge. Judge me with all that judgmental laser eyes and mind you want. Inside you there's a small voice reprimanding for being such a lousy ass bitch and you're thinking you're better than me. And by saying that I'm judging YOU. Cos at the end of the day we are all in fact fucking judgmental people.

Blah. Blah. Blah.

I didn't bathe today.

Friday, October 09, 2009

MAHAI finish your goddamn assignments la can or not diuuuuuuuuuuuu... Fuck this shit


Monday, October 05, 2009

I continue to amaze myself with my ability to waste time in the most useless fashion ever, especially when there's more pressing stuff to deal with.

Fuck am I even more useless than Magibon?

Only found out bout her today and all I can say is, wtf anything is possible in this world man...


Sunday, October 04, 2009

Didn't do a single shit today.

QC is... so... addictive...

I'm reading a webcomic.

I'm officially a dork.