Saturday, August 26, 2006

Rambling... Again

Actually I have nothing to blog about since well, no life and all. But quite long haven't blogged already so, fingers starting to itch. Another reason is because my mom and two bros are back. I can't be blogging in front of them right... that's a big no-no. NO ONE in my family can know that I'm blogging. NO ONE.

Sigh. What the heck am I rambling about. Must study. No time left. MUST STUDY..... Argh... I seem to have lost the will to study a long time ago. All I want to do is to read a good novel. Ahhhh... the good old days, good old days. I'm craving for that book, "Rape". Don't know why, I just wanna read it. Or maybe getting some chick-lit. I actually haven't read any chick-lit before... it'll probably be a nice change from thrillers.

Help. I want to read. Not reference books. Not text books. I want NOVELS, damnit.

*sob* :'(

Saturday, August 19, 2006

Wallet... Lost

I lost my freaking wallet yesterday! This is the second time I've lost my wallet. Sheesh. So annoying. I think it was left on the bus that I took to tuition. The first wallet was also lost this way! Damnit. (if I remember correctly)

I took it out to pay for the bus ticket and I think I forgot to put it back. Sigh. Why the hell am I so forgetful?? I have the memory of a goldfish. The worst part of it all is that wallet was my birthday present. IT WAS NEW. I only used for not more than a month. *sob* Give me back my pink wallet! And my money! The moolah inside! I think could be RM19 somewhere there. Sighhhhhhhhh....

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Going Crazy

My dad is driving me absofuckinglutely crazy. Every single fucking day, without fail he will nag on and on and on and on and on and on about studying, planning my studies, exam, no A no future blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.............


Every time he starts with the lecture, I just feel like stabbing myself again and again, just so he will stop. I just wanna shout "STOP IT! STOP IT!!!!!!!!! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!!!!!! LET ME GO!!!!! SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP!!!!!!!!! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He doesn't get how much pressure he is giving me right now. Every morning is torture cos it will be full of dread when he's fetching me to school. Every moment with him is stress cos fearing the moment he opens his mouth. Not a single second of TV is allowed. Again, he opens his mouth and says with his high-pitched annoying fucked up voice:"You still got time to watch tv ar?...." MY GOD. I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE. PLEASE. KILL ME. I CAN'T TAKE ANYMORE OF THIS MENTAL TORMENT.

All the lecture DOES NOT HELP OK. It worsens things up. Why isn't he tired of repeating the same things again and again and again and again and again AND AGAIN! I'm so FUCKING sick of it!!!!!!!!!!

*bangs head at wall repeatedly*

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Filler Post

I have no life. As if that wasn't obvious enough. Or what little I have of it don't even deserve the title of "Life".

Man, I'm starting to resent Add Maths. It wasn't so bad until "Fungsi Trigonometri" (the horror!) @#$%! causing me to flunk my test. I HAVE NEVER FLUNKED MY ADD MATHS BEFORE, ok. But strangely, I felt nothing when I got my test paper. Hmm. So numb already.

Monday, August 14, 2006

Please Stop Pissing Me Off

The abundance of mosquitoes in my house is absurd! I'm having 4 bites on my right arm right now. Chee sin mosquitoes....

Yesterday, my father said that he thinks he's spoiling me too much, that I "NEVER DO ANYTHING". Oh, EXCUSE ME, who has been washing, hanging, folding the clothes, washing the dishes, washing YOUR smelly dirty socks, cleaning the table, taking out the rubbish?? Well, I guess it was me cos it certainly wasn't YOU! Oh, and what were you doing all that time? Sitting on your ass, that's what! Sheesh!!!! The atrocity! One day of washing his own car, changing the filter, cleaning the dishes (his own mess anyway, I purposely didn't wash so he would learn to clean up his own freaking mess), ironing and he blurts out that condescending remark. Like kena stabbed only! Bak kata pepatah,"kuman di seberang laut nampak, gajah di depan mata tak nampak" or sth like that la.

By the way, I could have ironed my own clothes ok. You the one beriy-iya wanna iron while I was napping. I was so darn pissed yesterday. Buat geram saja! *grits teeth* Sometimes I just wanna run around amok and slash anyone in sight. And lastly slash myself. One day I might just be pushed to do that. Sometimes really teetering on the brink of insanity.

Okay, maybe I don't do everything in the house, but saying that I "NEVER DO ANYTHING" is plain pissing me off ok. You want me to study and also want me to do all the chores? WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT FROM ME??!! I'm not a Supergirl!

Arghhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!! *slashs bunnies*
GAHHHHHHHH!!!!!*kicks some guy's groin*
RAWWWRRRRRRR!!!!!*bites off somebody's hand*
YEARGHHHHHHH!!!!!!*break rat's neck, squish rat's head*
AAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!*punches strangers' heads off*
HAEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYA!*fly kicks anybody in sight*
NY..NYAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!*burns down neighbour's house*

Urgh. The people I'm living with can be so insulting sometimes.

Saturday, August 12, 2006

Mozzie Plague

OMG there are so many mosquitoes in my house. Aedes mosquitoes mind you. Zebra stripes and all. So scary. Yesterday two mosquitoes were sucking my blood side by side, after that countless mosquitoes kept on attacking me. There were of all sizes, man, from XS to XL. I couldn't even eat my dinner in peace. What the hell is wrong with my house? Is there some breeding ground that I don't know of? You have to experience it for yourself. It's like they were having some feeding frenzy. The whole community of mozzies decided the venue to be my house. For God-knows-what-reason. Only got two people leh. Sigh. Mosquitoes like me so so much.

Maybe I'll get dengue fever. Then no need to go to school. MUAHAHAHHAHA. Yeah, I'd rather contract a deadly disease than go to school. THAT'S how much my school sucks.

Am eating Nutrigen LITEYO (Light low fat yoghurt) right now. Stawberry flavour highly recommended. Just cos it has whole massive stawberries inside. Yum. Have yet to try other flavours.

I totally bore myself.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

"Blogging Again Ar?"

Now seem more free to blog cos weekdays home alone for a few hours... kekekeke...

Refering to the above title, that's what my dad asks when he sees me READING blogs or blog-hopping. WTF right.... he actually thinks that reading blogs = blogging. Where did he get that idea man. Everytime I hear him say that, I really want to roll my eyes to the back of my skull.

And then, his tone suggests that reading blogs like breaking some law like that. Sheesh. More eye rolling. Eh, at least I'm not surfing for porn ok. Things could be much worse.

Why doesn't he think: If blog reading = blogging, then what is the term for blog writing?

Argh. I'm rambling again.

Monday, August 07, 2006

I Must Mention....

...that my freaking pair of flip flops were stolen. Who the hell steals flip flops anyway? WHO'S CHILDHOOD WAS THAT DEPRIVED?? Well, it wasn't those Japanese slippers la, but black and a little decorated that kind. AND, it was new ok. I only wore it for 2 or 3 times. Then came back from school one day, it was Gone. Vanished. Disappeared into thin air. WTF? Now I don't have slippers to wear. Great. Stupid flip flop stealing asscrack.

...that a mouse was living in my drawer for God-knows-how-long. Imagine opening your drawer one day and seeing first, a seemingly used tissue paper, then an apple core. Ok, like that also never mind. I freaking thought a family member was that disgusting to leave an apple core inside my drawer. But then, BUT THEN, you see a whole lot of shit. Mouse shit. Those oval, black shit. I tell you, it was so disgusting that you would feel like taking a gun and shooting yourself there and then. Other than shit, there were also crushed dried bones. Ugh. God. How long has it been living in there?? That was one time. I cleaned my drawer, took mum's advice and put in some mothballs. Not long after that, opened drawer, MOUSE SHIT again. Plus some sunflower seeds. That stupid mouse cannot find better place to live in ar? Why my drawer? MY drawer? How did it get in anyway??? Now drawer taken out, all my stuff put somewhere else (not much since I threw most of them away... stupid mouse!!!!), and the mouse is still lurking around the house. It even ate some rat poison but this super-duper resilient mouse survives. Crazy.

Saturday, August 05, 2006

Being Home Alone Males One Think Crap

Home alone again. Very mou liu eh. Actually, I can be doing more productive stuffs like, studying, but just plain lazy.

Aha! I was right about eating economy rice and my doing the chores. If my father is still a bachelor, his house would be a pig sty. And that would just be an understatement. Seriously don't know how he would survive. Dirty dishes everywhere, clothes and socks not washed, sticky dining table not cleaned and reeking with disgusting gravy from last year, dusty and sandy floor etc etc... Ugh. Sorry to say that sometimes, he really disgusts me. Probably had been too dependant on my mom all these years.

God, it's already August. So freaking fast! Without my knowing, the trial would arrive then bam! SPM! Force facts into brain, regurgitate, become brain bulimic, and then suddenly, finish SPM. Just like that. After that, don't know what to do... sigh, so fail, no ambition or should I say, "practical" ambition. I've thought of things like being a fashion designer, writer, open a bakery.... I want to do those stuffs but sure I worry if I'll earn money, if I have what it takes and all that. Maklumlah, typical Chinese ma. How???

Feeling so old yet immature at the same time. Old physically, immature mentally. What a bad combination. I DON'T HAVE A FREAKING PLAN FOR MY FUTURE!!!!!oneonesatuyiyatuno I'm not really keen on the idea of doing Form 6, but my parents most probably are. Then I think: must get superb results in SPM so can apply scholarship to go overseas and study. But then, I'm scared shit of all the interviews stuff. Cos I'm just not fond of those situations. I can see it now, my stuttering, blabbering nonsense or plain stoned, not understanding questions and staring wide-eyed at interviewee. SIGH.

One of the reasons I want to go overseas is to be independant. And break out of this shell of mine. Get to know more friends, be more outgoing, you know. If I'm forced into this totally alien environment, maybe I HAVE to do that, just to survive. That's my theory la. I want to experience life at another country, gain knowledge, broaden my perspective and all that. Then come back a different person, changed for the better ( I hope). If stay in Malaysia, I don't think I would change at all. I would still be this dull, quiet, shy, inept coward.

Maybe I'm just thinking too much. Am I being a worry wart???

This was another post brought to you by yours truly.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

You Blog I Blog

Yay.Monthly test over already. This was only a 3-day monthly test. But imagine, got fed up after 3 days only. Oi, trial how like that? SPM leh? Sei lorr... lousy attention span. But... I can finally read my novel!

I understand why some bloggers say that nowadays the good bloggers are all "veterans", where are all the new blood? Heck, I get bored reading my own blog. The problem is, the teenagers here really have nothing much to blog about. School, tuition, exam, stress, tuition, exam..... and that's pretty much about it. Well, my life at least. I know, I'm like THE boring-est person you could ever meet. And I discovered two schoolmates' blogs. Honestly, zzzzzzzzzzzzz..... nothing interesting lor. But oooh.. one of them writes poems! OMFG, I was like.. what the.. she LIKES to write poems!! I didn't even know her English was not too bad for a student from my school (sarcastic meh?) Ok lar, her English was OK . Well I guess I shouldn't judge her since we don't even know each other.
(Eh, I totally digressed... -_-)

Anyway, I was shocked that some schoolmate of mine write poems! Mindfucked! Baffled! Awestruck! Yeah, I totally look down upon my own alma mater. Who writes poems anyway? I thought those artsy fartsy people? Erm, weird people? eccentric ones? Geez.. you really should not judge a book by its cover, or a blog by its template whatever. I was flabbergasted cos she looked kinda normal ma... tell me, how many normal people you know write poems??!! Err, maybe I'm over reacting a little. Calm down..

Moving on, about the second last post, I have to admit something. I was wrong about my brother. Hehe... malu nak cakap ni.. he's not actually useless lar. See, parents gone to Australia so only two of us at home for a week. At first I thought: Sei lor... all the chores also I do la? Where got time to study for test like that? These unfounded worries were just that, unfounded. To my shockness, he stepped up and did pretty much everything. From the cooking, washing dishes, hanging clothes, ironing, to the vacumning and mopping floor. Fuyor~~ really make me gua mu xiang kan.... why suddenly can be so rajin 1? Aiya, feel guilty la like that, my uniform he also iron! A little unbelievable, man. But... at least I got wash my own dishes and shoes!

Reminder: Must not assume things. I totally thought that he would let me rot by myself besides being my chauffeur. Does thinking like this make me evil?? Bad girl! Now, I may look upon him with newfound respect. Will it be shortlived? Will he continue his slobby ways after he comes back from Australia? Hmm... lets wait and see eh. Oh yeah, he left just now for the airport. Dad coming back tonight. His turn to take care of me. kekekeke... and I'm gonna make one more assumption: I'm gonna have to eat economy rice from now on. Dad would be lazy to cook. Hah, this assumption should would be correct! And... and.... it would be my turn to do all the freaking chores. Luckily, test ended liao. But I wont be mopping the floor, vacumn maybe lar, mop.. lazy ler...

The good thing about my bro taking care of me is..... home-cooked meals everyday! Oooh my bro cooks! Not a bad chef either. (Chef? Chauffeur? Like really my employee....) Feeling a bit useless leh, need to be taken care of. Because I don't know how to cook lor.

Erm.. what else leh. Everytime also like that. Churn out crap, digress until don't know where, then 'brain juices' come to abrupt halt. Blankness.

Back to the blogging topic, what do you reckon makes a good blog? For me, it's lots and lots of PRETTY photos. Leng lui photos to be spesific.. (lecherous smile) And of course, interesting content la. So that's why my blog is not good, and will never be good. Crap isi, no photos to boot. Example, kinkybluefairy's blog. Originally I went there to look at the photos, but then I started to actually read it. I'm liking it now, short and simple sentences... photos of hot guys and chicks here and there. And the partying! Envy betul! Sigh, what a life that woman has. Turning green.... Another example, jasiminne the penguin's blog. I mainly go there to see her camwhoring photos. Cos she's hot ma. But I seldom read. Too long maybe? (like mine) ANOTHER one, cheesie's blog. Also go there mainly for the pics, another hot gal. Yet hers I do read. Not too long. Quite berkualiti also her puns. Heh.

Anywayyyyyy..... I wonder how many more of my schoolmates blog? So darn curious, maybe can find out some secrets.. kekekkekeke.... *malicious grin*