Saturday, February 21, 2009


Wtf I'm flying off TODAY? TONIGHT?? Are you fucking kidding me wei?

Argh argh argh.

Anyway, don't really know how I'm feeling right now. Oh God tomorrow need to go out again. Aih I don't know why I agreed to it. My friend crazy one, been asking me out everyday this week T_T

I freaking love my alone time la is that so hard to understand? Spending time with myself is like the highlight of my day haha I sound like a fucking narcissist who masturbates wtf.

Yeah but it's true (not the masturbating narcissist part la haiya). I feel so fucking lazy to go out. Most of the time, if not all, I just wanna stay at home and do... stuff. Or better yet, nothing. Hello doing nothing is my absolute looove. I don't even recognize boredom anymore cos doing nothing is like the highlight of my day WTF WTF.

Yes. I've turned into this boring old hag! And I don't seem to mind. I like being invisible. Being unknown. Being low profile. Yea. *peace sign wtf*

Fucking random post before I leave wtf.

Goodbye, delicious, sinful, filling Ramly burgers. Double Special Cheese OMG FTW. I'm drooling already fuck this.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009


something to be excited about wtf.

For RM300, I did something my parents would think is stupid, unforgivable, totally wasteful!

What is it, you ask?

Did I whore myself wtf?

Or did I pay some whore for carnal pleasure wtf?

NO. It's this:

(after bath)

YES I finally got inked!


(Taken after taking bandage out, pictures blur as they're cropped. Cannot show my room haha the perils of blogging anonymously wtf)

Ish I wanna put up pictures of my bloody bandage one, can see the bloody 'ROCK' outline somemore wtf. But I lazy. Heh.

How painful was it eh? Sometimes, it felt like getting sliced with a knife. Sometimes, it was bearable haha. But the artist inked a little then rubbed a little, so can tahan lah. Mine took about an hour.

Gross part:
I was sweating without even knowing it wtf. Mind you I was wearing a tube in an air-conditioned room. Mana tahu I felt the sweat travel down my arms wtf. Not a neverending current la luckily wtf. It was hardly noticeable. Ha... ha... I hope wtf *shifty eyed*.

To be honest, the 'K' is a lil bit senget haha. But do I look like I care wtf! Actually I myself can't even see it up front! It's more of being satisfied I can strike one thing off my to-do list WTF. Or, when I feel like it again, I can just get another tattoo! To cover up the sengetness, or camouflage it, or divert attention away from it whatever. Yay. I think almost definitely I'll get another one. An image. Ahhh *dreamy*

This is also a 'Fuck You' to them who want to turn all of us into mindless, conforming drones. Lanjiao go eat shit ok. I don't need your damn money wtf. _l_

Wednesday, February 11, 2009



Because a part of me wishes that I won't have the need to sleep, hence more time can be spent doing things I'm supposed to be doing.

But a part of me wants to sleep and never wake up. That's why I wake up at around late afternoon everyday when the room feels like an oven. Because it'll be too fucking hot to ignore the little voice in my head that goes "Time to fucking wake up... Ugghhh...". Because I'll be fucking sweating like nobody's business.


Tuesday, February 10, 2009


I'm so fucking tired of looking for a fucking place to stay!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK THIS SHIT LA!!!!!

Saturday, February 07, 2009



such a procrastinator!!! Delay search for house la, delay bathing la wtf, delay any research whatsoever la, delay any form of learning whatsoever la, delay this delay that... As my mum simply loves loves LOVES to say, I always DILLY-DALLY wtf.

Digressing, I think dilly-dally is THE most disgusting phrase ever! I've been bombarded with it since God-knows-when (since I started dilly-dallying and never looked back I guess wtf), so many times that I just want to fucking strangle it! And the person who came up with it. Why the fuck did you decide to torment mankind with such a disgusting, revolting phrase like dilly dally??! Have you gotten sick of the phrase yet? No? Try repeating it ten times everyday. That would be suffice to make you sick to your stomach.

Ok, so I should be surfing for some plausible places to stay. But what do I do first? Well read blogs of course wtf! And I do that every single time wtf. No matter that I just clicked on those links a few moments ago. No matter that I know those blogs won't have new posts up anytime soon. Still, I click on those bloody links. OR, I click on new links! Discover more blogs wtf! The possibilities are endless cos no worries, there are millions of blogs out there yo! And in the end, didn't manage to accomplish shit. Sigh.

What is wrong with me can someone tell me? Can you? Or you? Or you? *points everywhere even if nobody's there wtf*



learn how to be grateful yadda yadda...

not feel so stressed? (But how can one not in times like these sigh)

be excited wtf?

be calm and composed wtf.

repeat this to myself:

There's nothing to fear but fear itself. There's nothing to fear but fear itself. There's nothing to fear but fear itself. There's nothing to fear but fear itself. There's nothing to fear but fear itself. There's nothing to fear but fear itself. There's nothing to fear but fear itself. There's nothing to fear but fear itself. There's nothing to fear but fear itself. There's nothing to fear but fear itself. There's nothing to fear but fear itself. There's nothing to fear but fear itself. There's nothing to fear but fear itself. There's nothing to fear but fear itself. There's nothing to fear but fear itself. There's nothing to fear but fear itself. There's nothing to fear but fear itself. There's nothing to fear but fear itself. There's nothing to fear but fear itself. There's nothing to fear but fear itself. There's nothing to fear but fear itself. There's nothing to fear but fear itself.

be fearless, as a result of repeating the mantra wtf.

practice what I preach.

not avoid.



Note: Wtf this list can go on forever and ever... so I shall not continue.


don't plan things too far into the future. I don't have a list like,
By 28:
1. Get married.
2. Earn first million.
3. Buy bungalow.

1. Have kids.
2. Earn first billion.
3. Buy a continent.

You know, a list like that. I'm sure some people do.

It's just, easier to face life a day at a time. (Partly due to procrastinating nature wtf) Life just doesn't seem so heavy that way.

That's why I don't really want to look into the future, say 10 years from now, and ask where would I be. Who knows, I could be dead by then. The future is unpredictable shit, accidents can happen, sickness can happen, anything can happen.

And that is why, I'm not bervisi like other people wtf.

Or at least, that's what I tell myself.

Maybe it's also because I don't see myself advancing anywhere in life doing something I don't give two fucks about. Because I gave up, the moment I found out that life is fucked up and so is the world.

Arghhh. Think happy thoughts happy thoughts wtf.

Er er... world peace! Freedom! Rainbows! Teh tarik! Instant noodles! Ramly burgers! Chicken rice! Ba gua! KFC! Pizza! (Wtf once start with food confirm cannot stop one)

Thursday, February 05, 2009


Last November, after finals when I came back home and was immediately unpacking, my mum said, "This is not the end, you know. It's just the beginning!" (insert awkward/nervous laughter some more). Partly cos I was putting things back and she thought I should set them aside for when I head abroad instead.

That time all I felt was, "Not. Funny. At. All. -_-... just leave me alone la ugh."

Suddenly, I really am nearing that supposed beginning. Tiba-tiba jer, flung into this whole whirlwind of information, anxiety, worry, stress, fruitless search, terror, fluctuations, answerless questions, endless questions, pressure, responsibility, independence and a lot more. It's a bigass whirlwind all right.

WOI! what happened to my holiday wei?!? Why gone already one??! GIVE ME BACK MY MUTHAFUCKING HOLIDAY LA WEI!!!

Holidays. Such fleeting moments.


Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Then, Now


a new life was brought to this world.

All I would say to her if she was here is,

Welcome. But I feel sorry for you. *sigh dramatically*

Then today,

I cooked! Wtf.

Edible? Check. Didn't burn down the kitchen? Check.

Hello God you DO exist wtf, and I would like to thank you wtf.

Ok ok it was just fried rice... but first time mar.

Monday, February 02, 2009

WWUD : What Would the Unsub Do (wtf)

So well yeah today consisted of only 4 activities : Sleep. Eat. Read newspapers. Read blogs.

If bumming around is considered another activity, then make it a 5th. But personally, I think it encompasses all 4 activities. Hey, wouldn't that ultimately mean that I should have typed "today consisted of only 1 activity?"

The complexities we face. Damn.

Anyway, there was this article in the newspapers. The first paragraph contained words that immediately struck a chord in me.

..."avoiding the inevitables of life".

Ah something that I'm all too familiar with. Way too familiar.


Random thought of the day:

If I were to have an alter ego name (whatever that means), it would be Unsub. Don't you think Unsub sounds cool? Viewers of Criminal Minds would know what I'm talking about.

I had no idea what Unsub meant, didn't even put a thought to it actually. Clueless as to why the pepretrators were being called 'the Unsub'. Until I finally found out that oh it was short for Unknown Subject (of an Investigation).

But of course! What a doofus I am.


Post ends abruptly here cos don't know how to continue wtf.


I did nothing.

Absolutely nothing.


Do I sound surprised? Why do I still sound surprised at my ability to do nothing?

Sunday, February 01, 2009

You look back and wonder, what the hell happened?

Life happened.

Must life turn all of us into cynical, jaded people?

He; She : Red

She was to be frank, a little nervous. Names were being called. Why wasn't it her turn yet? That, and because it was well, a test. The mere mention of the word 'test' could make her jittery, and butterflies would start sprouting like mushrooms in her stomach. Not that it was necessary, cos she always ended up doing well.

So, she was on one of the uncomfortable plastic seats in the stuffy, cramp place. Anyone claustrophobic would be running through the door by now. But not her, she needed to concentrate. Flipping furiously through the pages of the book for the millionth time, she practically could have recited any page by memory.

The door cracked open. Everybody looked up, thirsty for a reprieve from the yellow book in their hands, to look at their newest member. Almost immediately, nearly everyone's eyes darted back to their books. He wore sleeves of tattoos, multiple piercings and a scowl. And in everyone's mind the words "BAD NEWS" flashed like a siren.

Nearly everyone. Her eyes stayed fixated on him. His feet, to be exact. They bothered her.

He scanned around the place for a seat. Seemed like the only unoccupied seat was beside the girl. The one wearing a beige knee length collared dress and yellow cardigan, and was strangely eyeing his feet doggedly. Ugh, what the heck. He thought, and planted himself on the seat.

Twiddling her thumbs, she couldn't take it anymore. It was gnawing at her system, chipping away at her nerves like a woodpecker would a tree bark. All her life, she was one to follow the rules and regulations, never questioning them. A good old law abiding citizen. Hence, she just had to be the good Samaritan.

He was examining his fingernails when she cleared her throat. He didn't suspect anything. Didn't have time to, really and was totally caught off guard. All of a sudden, he was thrown into the abyss of what known to humans as "Conversation".

"Excuse me, Mister..." Ever the polite. "Sorry to bother you but, maybe you didn't notice... the sign on the door says that slippers are not allowed?" Her face painted a picture of total earnestness. Her finger pointed to his flip flops, one of the many pairs that he own.

He was taken aback. Unsure of how to respond. He could have flipped her the middle finger like how he would usually do in these situations, but there was something about her that suppressed that reflex of his. Was it her big doe eyes? The way she bit her lips? The way she regarded him like he was any other normal person? How she called him 'Mister'?

Ah, he was intrigued. And struggling to come up with a response. Thus, he went "So?" nonchalantly, without even moving his lips.

"So? So, you may be forbidden from taking the test!" She blurted out as if it was preposterous that she needed to tell him that. She emphasized the word 'forbidden' a tad too much though. "Are you here to take the test anyway? You seem kinda erm, mature." Seconds later, her eyes widened in realization. "Is it cos your license was exterminated (she couldn't think of a better term at that moment)?" Hell, she was on a roll.

"Er." What the fuck. "Yeah, you can say that."

"But why?"


"Oh." She continued, "You really shouldn't drink and drive, you know."

No response, only a slight grunt. Why is she still talking to me?

Not a conversationalist, huh. Oh well. She returned to her book.


A few moments later, finally her name was called. "PC SATU!!!"

Number one! A good sign
. She grinned inwardly. She stood up, not forgetting to turn back to the taciturn one and chirp, "Wish me luck!" All she got was a reluctant "Yea" in return.


Less than 10 minutes was all it took. She grabbed her bag and headed out of the room to get her results printed. 49 over 50. She was pleased, but she could have done better, she told herself.


Before she left, she glanced at him and smiled, wondering if he would smile back. Surprisingly, his features softened, just for a sec. The corners of his mouth curled up, just a wee bit. Evidently, he wasn't one who was used to the expression of smiling.


That, was their first encounter. An encounter that occurred at where mostly teenagers took their Undang test.

Neither of them thought that they would meet again. Not anytime soon, not ever.

But oh, how they were so wonderfully wrong.