Wednesday, June 28, 2006

My Fantasy Guy

I never knew I would say this but I think I want a freakin' boyfriend. Not just ANY boyfriend, but to fall in love. I reckon it would be a good feeling, you see.

I want someone who wants to take care of me for the rest of his life. Yeah la I'm damn spoilt like that. But to be fair, I also can take care of him ma. Physically, he doesn't have to look like Wentworth Miller (but there's no harm if he does.... drool..).

It's best if he has broad shoulders, for me to lie on, and nicer to hug (I think?)

Seriously, I don't want any puppy love bullshit. What is the freaking point anyway. Guys my age are just too immature, ugh. I WANT A MATURE GUY, DAMNIT. (Very weird la, like I'm demanding or ordering a grown man from some counter)

My fantasy guy would know how to cook... because I can't. He doesn't need to be a gourmet chef la, knowing basic stuffs is enough. And I also will learn to cook and bake for him, so I can fatten him up so he cannot complain if I grow fat! MUAHAHAHAHA.... He also won't mind doing the chores and all (this very hard to find loh..)

Daydreaming sigh... he must be very huggable, cos all I have to hug now is my pillow. While hugging pillows are comfortable, it can't grow hands and wipe my tears off. Sigh... somemore he can cheer me up whenever I'm down, is able to bear with my idiosyncrasies and bouts of depression...

Plus, his kindness and other good qualities will affect me too and make me a better person. He will make me feel good about myself. He doesn't necessarily need to be a saint cos I'm aware that I'm no angel myself. Good listener. Good sense of humour. Yadda yadda yadda...

Oh ya, he gives a real good massage. This trait would be really useful when I'm tired and sore.

If got some of these qualities, I think good enough gua. Unfortunately, I don't think I'll ever get a guy like that cos I don't really deserve him.... so my fantasy guy will remain just that, a fantasy.

Saturday, June 17, 2006

10 Weird Things About Dad

Dad, you are weird in many ways.

Let me elaborate.

1) Don't wash your hands after pissing.
- You say that you don't touch your 'kuku' but how can we know for sure? Is it really possible for guys to piss without touching their penises?

2) Like to throw rubbish into the kitchen sink when the rubbish bin is right beside it.
- What's with that eh?

3) Always repeat yourself.

4) Always repeat yourself. Again and again and again.
- And see? Now you have me doing it too!

5) Talk when nobody else's listening.
- And it amazes me that even without a listener, you still can go on and on and on... about a topic no one really cares about.

6) Shout at the handphone.
- There's really no need for that la, the person at the other side can hear you just fine. Just cos your hearing is deteriorating, it does not mean that other people's are.

7) Scratch your butt and then 'sayang' me and still don't think that anything's wrong with that.
- Wah, your butt made of gold is it? You argue by saying:" I'm your father, you know!" So?? That makes your butt cleaner than other people's is it? It's gross ok!

8) Scrath your crotch too.
- And don't you think I don't see it. Actually, you don't make much an effort to hide the habit either. The weird thing is I seem like the only one who notices. Don't know whether mum and bro pretend cannot see or really blind already. Again, that's gross ok! Grosser! And don't even say "I'm your father, ok?!"

9) Put on waaaaayyy to much perfume when you go to functions.
- Do you take pleasure in suffocating people? You should really have watched "Queer Eye". Kyan says:" Spray, delay and walk away!"

10) Easily get obsessed.
- There was the 'Bejeweled' obsession, internet surfing obsession and now you're obsessed with health. I reckon that's not really a bad thing but it's starting to piss mum off. *she even says you're on the verge of being crazy! gasp!* Is this a mid-life crisis thing?

That's all I can think of, for now.

Oh yeah, Happy Father's Day.

Lame First Post

Well, actually, 'self-absorb' does not exist, neither does 'self-absorbence'. Bah, whatever la.

I deleted my late blog because my bro found it. *sob* I even gave it a proper funeral and all. Actually, no I didn't. I blogged anonymously but it was damn freaking obvious it was me cos of some things I blogged about... sheesh what's the point of anonymosity if people are gonna find out anyway?? Anyway, I'm gonna try to be real careful this time. People are freaking weird. Can blog to let strangers read but scared of family or friends finding out. At least I am weird in that sense.

So, I wondered whether to start a new blog... and I figured that I'll go crazy if I just keep talking to myself in my head. I need a place to ramble, damn it! Muahahaha... and this is the first of other self-obesessed posts to come.

Or is this the start of a journey of self-discovery? Erm, yeah I know that sounded real corny and all... I'm just in this state where I have no idea who I am or what I wanna do in my life. I'm sure everyone's been through this. I think. Being a teenager with raging hormones, this process is not easy at all. For me, it has been painful, emotionally. And perhaps slowly numbing my senses to everything else but me.. is that why I'm so self-absorbed?

How does one start or end this journey?