Monday, June 30, 2008

Motivational Talk 101

"Life is constant suffering. So you must learn how to enjoy suffering." - (My Dad, 2008)

Wow, I'm like so fucking motivated.

Motivated to eat shit, that is.

Saturday, June 28, 2008

Yearning for Hair Free-ness and More Randomness


Wa I also want lor can???? Damn ma fan lor those unwanted hair at unwanted places! Dunno what's their purpose also. Reduce friction my ass lah. We can function perfectly well without them what!

More random snippets.

She sat on her living room couch. Inhaling deeply, she stared out of the window. At the moving shadows. The trees. The engulfing darkness. The silence.

The light wasn't even on, as she didn't feel that it would make any difference. All she needed was to imagine that she was in a room brightly lit by the sunlight. It was pristine. The breeze that blew in from the outside smelled like summer. It caressed her hair ever so lightly. Outside, the trees were not malicious, but extremely benevolent. Outside, it was so... welcoming.

Despite the scene in her mind, she was still in her living room. Surrounded by nothing but silence.

She slumped.

Him ; She

It was late night.

She got into the car. Looking sweet in a white ruffled halter dress. His expression didn't change, as nonchalant as ever.

"Hey." She smiled at him.

"Yea." He uttered lazily, leaving behind a slight drawl. He had one hand on the wheel, and looked straight ahead on the road. She couldn't keep her eyes off him, as she simply couldn't resist the sight of him driving. There was just something about the juxtaposition of his concentration and recklessness that drives her to watch.

"So... where to?" "You'll see." He answered in his usual laconic manner. Her curiosity wasn't satisfied, but that wasn't unexpected.

On the road, they only had the radio to provide some background music. He lowered the volume before she came in, because he knew she didn't really favour it loud. As usual, she looked out the window after watching him driving for awhile. They have managed to achieve comfortable silences in their times spent together.

So, neither of them spoke. They just needed to be in the presence of each other. To be cognizant of the existence of the other.

She wondered sometimes how people would think when they see them walking together. The girl was always prim and proper, the one people would expect to be a valedictorian. Some would call her kiasu, others nerd. All will agree on straight As student. While the guy, he has this permanent cynical expression on his face. He didn't care much bout his appearance. Not that he needed to, he exuded style no matter what. Shorts, a grey shirt, ear studs, silver ring, flip flops and he's good to go. Oh and don't forget a couple of tattoos on his arms. One simply asked people to "Fuck Off". Some would call him slacker, others badass, all reckon that he should be avoided.

They seemed to be an odd couple. Not that they were a couple, heck none of them could tell you what relationship they're having even if you asked. They just were.

Comfortable with each other. Slowly discovering things bout each other's world that they wouldn't have known had they not met before.

In unusual circumstances they met and got to know each other. Then they grew accustomed to each other. She, waiting for his arrival in his car; he, tuning down the radio before she sat in.

"Almost there."


Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Library Moments

The reason why I'm blogging at the library is, I've resolved to NOT on my laptop for the rest of the week! My determination is as hard as steel wtf.. yeah right.

So anyway! More wisdom!

The art of feigning interest when you really don't give two fucks!

Lecturer: ... blablabla... Are you guys ok?
You: *nod thoughtfully* *paste that expression on your face as if you've just discovered the path to nirvana*

If you're sorta like me, and have spent a fair amount of time thinking about life and all that shit, let me tell you something.


It's not worth it, and definitely won't lead you to any epiphany. It's just a waste of time, cos deep down we all already know the truth of life and its not so mysterious mysteries.

That is...

LIFE SUCKS. Live with it.

Yeah, it really is as simple as that. That's reality. Stop trying to figure out if there's a way around that.

This is more like talking to myself la wtf.

There won't be any updates for some time (I hope).

K bye.

Monday, June 23, 2008

Gut Busting Wisdom

Let me share some profound wisdom here in my humble blog... that will totally blow anyone away with its sheer simplicity and how so very true they are.

"Life is pointless."

"Life sucks to the max."

"Life is stupid. Nope. Make that stoopid."

"Life is like throwing shit on a boomerang. You always get the shit thrown back at you."

"Life is... argh.. I give up."

You get the idea, yea?

So feel free to spread the wisdom!

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Hello People

Since I don't want the previous depressing post to be the first post anyone sees when they stumble into here, I shall update. Pfft.

I am now feeling better, FYI. Thanks to lame jokes and a mildly disturbing movie I guess. Lol.

But now I'm feeling guilty cos I practically whiled my weekend away instead of putting it to good use. Le sigh. Is it really supposed to be that way? The feeling of guilt to emerge whenever one is idle?

And now am I making up for the lost precious hours spent moping? Nopeee... obviously here I am online and blogging wtf.

I should be studying! Revising! Religiously completing exercises! Poring over books instead of my laptop! RIGHT???

I wasted 3 days! 3 DAYS FFS!

K I'm starting to sound really kiasu, but what to do? I'm forced to adopt this kiasu attitude nowadays. So I have to force myself to study lor. Force force force! Must continue forcing till the year ends!

Crazy already. Stoopid. -_-.

p/s: Seeeee!!!! I got update my blog! Instead of a certain someone named A_ _ _ n! Cis! Hehehe...

Saturday, June 21, 2008


You want me to express myself?

You really want me to do that?

Then should I tell you just how sick I am of feeling this way. How so sick I am of going through the same old cycle over and over and over...

How sick I am of crying silently in the toilet, or crying myself to sleep and waking up with swollen eyes. How many times, I've lost count.

How sick I am of laughing my heart out when I'm with my friends, but when I'm alone all I wanna do is curl up and disappear.

How sick I am of letting you guys get to me more than I want to.

How sick I am of listening to you guys talk and talk and TALK.

How so very TIRED of it. Wondering why the fuck can't I just suck it up and DEAL WITH IT? WHY?


I tried telling myself that it's OK, all I need is to take a few deep breaths and let it pass. Wait it out. Smile a bit. But I couldn't even force a smile out wtf.

I wish I could tell you why I'm like this. But I can't. Cos I don't know. I wish I knew too, but I DON'T.

I've never said that I hate you guys. I never will. I assure you that.

News Flash

Hmm.. okay 2 things I guess:

1. Happy birthday to someone! (He won't see it here anyway... lol)

2. HAHAHA I made a new friend/MSN buddy/whateveryouwannacallit today! (Technically it's yesterday... but whatever...)

Heh I blogged! Lol. So I go sleep now lor wtf.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Keep Holding On WTF

There's nothing much to say. Or rather, there are no words to say. To express.

Technically, around 5 more months to go, right? It'll end soon right? Right?

After that, what? The same cycle repeating itself? What's the whole fucking point of it all.

Sigh dunno lah. Really dunno what to say lah. Dreading going home and facing them. Ya lah I'm definitely in the teenagers stage la wtf. (Recall Egg Shell Lollipop text production lesson WTF)

Tahan xia qu~~~ Chang lok huiiii~~~

Can't really be bothered to use proper English. Or even try to be articulate. That's basically how my mind speaks anyway. Damn rojak one wtf.

WTF Duffy's "Mercy" is playing right now and damn, it's annoying. No matter how many times I listen to it, me still not really likey wtf.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

To My Beloved Hehehe

This is a very special post! Cos it's not about me, or other lame crap, it's actually a dedication to someone spesel! Lol.

Who is this post dedicated to, you ask? Jeng jeng jeng!!!! (lame dao)... She's my beloved wife eh wtf!

So today's my beloved's birthday, the day when she popped out of her mother's womb and made life on Earth more awesome with her mere presence wtf. (People's bday ma, of course must sweet talk a bit lah wtf...)

Let me tell you more about this spesel person. Before we knew each other, I noticed her during orientation week, cos ya know, she looked yeng (HAHAHA) and NOT Chinese! I thought she was Malay or what due to her *cough* hitam manis *cough* skin colour. Mana tahu she's 100% Chinese la wtf. I'm not to be blamed lah, I wasn't the only one who thought that way kan? Hehe, she has a cool exterior, but BUT! Do not be deceived! She's actually super duper 38 / cheap / jip / murah! A fine example of do not judge a book by its cover man. Sumore always try to act posh, but actually she's cheap till dunno how one. LOL. Thanks to her influence, I also became cheap already. WTF man. Bad influence lor can!

DESPITE her unbelievable cheapness, hahaha I love my wife for who she is :)... She may look hardcore and try to act posh, but inside she's really a sensitive, kind, thoughtful, sweet, caring (insert positive trait lol) girl. A fun person to be with. When she was absent from classes due to sickness, we all missed her hahaha... partly cos the class would be so quiet without her la wtf. (Cos she's damn bising lidat wtf hahaha)

I'm very glad to have known such an awesome babe! Although we've only known each other for less than one year, I feel that we've been best friends for a long long time! Right right babe? Lol, damn cliche wtf... Damn, I really hope that we all can go to the same university lor! Wouldn't it be great if we did??

And! I tell you she has the coolest hair styles everrr.. lol. Her current one is her coolest yet me thinks! Really like it la babe. Wanna kidnap your hair stylist. But then also no use cos my hair damn lembik like that wtf. T_T.

Anywayyy, moving on... obviously lah this post is to wish her a
VERY VERY VERY HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Babe you're officially of legal age already! Although you already look old mature, NOW you can finally proclaim that you ARE old mature! Hope all your wishes come true and all that lah!

Hope you have a great birthday ya! Did you enjoy your 2nd clubbing experience? Lol. Tell me all the juicy detailsss!!!!! Mwahahahaha...

Lastly, apart from the card that I made for you with all mah lurve, you get a BIG FAT WET KISS from meeee!!!!! *MUACKSSSSS!!!*

Love you loads!

Saturday, June 14, 2008

I Know...

I'm not good enough. I'm never good enough.

I'm not a straight As student lah, I know that ok?

I'm not my eldest bro, or third bro or fourth bro, I'm not ok?

Monday, June 09, 2008

1st day of col and I'm already broke wtf

Kinda unsure what feelings are brewing now... Boredom? Sense of lost? Dazed? Just can't pinpoint it... could be a mixture of a few. This sensation, unfeeling yet real, is really quite annoying. It gnaws at you, grinding ever so slowly at your nerves, but you have no fucking idea what the hell is wrong. If you look at yourself from a third person point of view, you can't see anything wrong. No, nothing's wrong. But the first person just knows something's just wrong. Somewhere. Somehow.

Jesus, seriously annoying, cloying and boiling WTF.

Thursday, June 05, 2008

Update #18238972839

Another day I decided to wake up in the morning, my uncle was here. So I stayed in my room and started to read a book. And fell asleep. GAWD.

Now I feel groggier than ever.


Why I didn't wanna go down was to avoid any conversation whatsoever with my uncle. I dread those obligatory small talk about studies. College. How's it going and all that shiznit. I fear it. So I run from it wtf. It's so painful. Agonizing. I'm thinking in choppy sentences here so forgive me.


All of the above was written yesterday.

So anyway, I just had to chance upon some site called, and FFS I just had to get addicted to this game called Fashion Solitaire. T.T

I'm a sucker for these kind of stuff I know.

I woke up, in the afternoon, ate my lunch, and started playing. Almost non-stop. 40 plus rounds. 46? 47? Somewhere there. Now my eyes are like two useless piece of shit cos they almost lost all function due to lack of blinking wtf.

I just can't help it! It's like being in a trance, always clicking the evil 'Continue' button even though you feel your already mushy brain is turning into well, slosh.

Good thing is it's some way to pass the time, albeit a stupid way wtf.

Imma continue playing wtf. Just kill me, this useless piece of meat. Lol.

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

More self amusement

Despite the thunder thighs and cellu-freakin-lite, I think I'm still a child at heart.

Cos you know why? When there's nothing to do, I resort to self amusement. In mah blog. Yesh, I'm that pathetic. Children resort to self amusement all the time. How many times have you seen a kiddo laugh his head off due to some reason that you simply can't comprehend? Somehow our ability to amuse ourselves have diminished over time. Ain't that a pity. Nobody will feel bored if those abilities develop with age.

But I digress.

You know how people always come up with stuff like "Things to do before I die"? Now ain't that total bullcrap. Those are just wishful thinking, and they are fully aware of it. Cos logically speaking, who can have Jessica Alba's body and get to indulge in all types of cuisines around the world? Impossible right? So don't you just feel like slapping these people to their senses.

But anywayyy, since well I have nothing better to do, I came up with my own to-do list before my last breath. In no apparent order.

Behold! My most "impressive", "awe-inspiring"...

1. Bungee jump

2. Have sex Make love wtf

3. Travel around the world (So typical pffft)

4. Be a ROCK STAR wtf (Seriously. lol)

5. Tell people who deserve it to just shove all their crap back up their ass

6. Start my own foundation named "Education is Overrated". Simply cos education is often overrated. Yeah. I'll teach children (future tunggak negara wtf) the real skills required to survive this harsh, harsh world. How to pluck your eyebrows, how to cut your nails, how to kiss major ass and all the shiznit, ya know?

7. Get invited to guest star in a series like Desperate Housewives, or Ugly Betty, then the producers get so impressed by my performance they ask me to replace one of the main cast. With a superb high fee. Oh yeah.

8. If I can't be a rock star, Imma marry one wtf

That's all I can think of so far in my bloated state wtf. I swear I've accumulated so much crap in mah intestines they're gonna blow anytime. Ok that's gross wtf.

Sigh I love my blog. As crude and distasteful and dumbass as it may be, it reflects just how crude, distasteful and dumbass I can be.

This turned into such a freakin long post that nobody reads anyway lol

I can't believe it. I can't fuckin believe it.

The one day that I decide to actually wake up in the morning~ I'm freakin home alone. Boohoo... With zero driving skills and sense of direction, there's no possible way that I'm going anywhere. Le sigh.

So since I'm practically ensconced in mah home, I shall do what I do best here wtf. That is to fill mah blog with incessant crap.

You remember last time in primary school (seems like eons ago... GAWD i feel like an old hag) when we were required to fill in these stupid forms, we had to state our 3 ambitions? Well I shall say, WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?

As if some innocent, wide-eyed, undeveloped kids would actually KNOW what they wanna be some 20 years later?? Heck, even at the age of seven-fucking-teen, I don't have a single clue! So how do you actually expect a midget who barely knows anything about the sucky world to freakin realize what is their fuckin cita-cita??


You know what I think? It's just one whole big brainwashing scheme for kids. Start when they're young and impressionable mah. Cos you remember what most of the kids filled in? Fucked up boring jobs like doctor (yi sheng), lawyer (lu shi), engineer (gong chen shi *shudder*), accountant (kuai ji shi right?), teacher / LAO SHI (omfg gullible GULLIBLE kids!)...

It's a conspiracy I tell you! To get kids to grow into people who only cares bout money and don't mind having soul-sucking, mind-numbing jobs! I mean, does that mean that all the other jobs were just crap? Worthless? What about music producers? DJs? Restaurant owners? And other shit? (The lao shi one was probably just to suck up to the teachers. Damn what a bunch of ass kissers)

Just look at those pathetic generic answers! What does that say huh?

That even when we were small, we were made to believe that only those jobs were respectable, acceptable and vegetable wtf. Even when we were small, our minds were drilled with that android conception that money is ALL that matters.

Sad to say, I was a victim of that ruthless brainwashing too. Admit it, we all were. Once I filled in "nurse" actually, but my teacher convinced me to change it to "doctor", cos you know, nurses have to clean bed pans and stuff wtf.

You see??!! Propaganda!!! (Shall forgive her cos I actually liked her lol)

What I think was the most honest, true to oneself ambition was...

Wait for it...

Wait for it...



Wtf that was a lil over dramatic eh. Really, isn't that the most practical, down-to-earth ambition ever? I salute the guy for being clear with what he wanted to be, even at the vulnerable age of perhaps... 11? And to think that we were actually surprised that someone would fill in that. We secretly sniggered at the person who aspired to be a "lowly" hawker...

But now, don't we ALL wanna be hawkers? They make a whole lotta moolah, no office politics, they don't have to dress up for work, only have to know how to cook a signature dish or two and they can live a comfortable life! Holy mama! *Respect!*

Wow I was getting way worked up over this issue wtf.

So people, if (God forbid) you have kids in the future, puh-leeeze don't let them be brainwashed. Stop all these accountant, lawyer, doctor crap. Let those stupid forms be more interesting eh? Stripper, Dancer, Vet, Phone Operator wtf... anything but the usual boring crap.

So when you're called in the teacher's office to discuss this "problem" about your kid, you shall be so proud that he/she didn't succumb to the pressures of society. He/she stood their ground and dengan bangganya, wrote "Pole dancer".

Now isn't that the most heart warming thing ever.

You shall be so proud.

Monday, June 02, 2008


What do you think of commercials? Do you prefer them to be sentimental? Touching? Funny? Action-packed wtf?

Well I know what I DON'T want them to be. GROSS.

We're never gonna win an award for the funniest commercials. That title probably belongs to Thailand, The US of A or basically anywhere but here. But lemme tell you what we CAN win.

The title of the GROSSEST commercial. Or it's more of a Public Service Announcement, really.

Bah, whatever it is, it's plain out disgusting.

If you've been watching the tv, or more specifically TV2 I think, you would have came across this few-minutes-long PSA (or whatever) about taking care of our sewage system. Love the system, don't throw rubbish into the toilet bowls that sorta stuff.

Ring any bells yet?

Now can anyone seriously deny how gross that piece of PSA is?

When that lady slipped and fell upon the pool of festering shit juice, and her hands were covered with crap, did you not go "EWWW!!!!!!" ?

When you laid your poor eyes upon that toilet bowl filled to the brim with brown (like MILO) shit water, did you not exclaim "OMFG HOLY SCHMOLY WTF??!!" ?

AND when that lady was walking to the stall and unfortunately came across the lumpy, watery, throbbing pile of crap with a life of its own wtf, did you not go "WTF WHAT KIND OF SERIOUSLY DISTURBING AD IS THIS???" ?

And everything that came after that did not matter, cos those images were imprinted into your minds forever and ever. And it kept replaying and replaying... GAH!!!

So ladies and gentlemen, that's how we got to claim the highly UN-coveted, notorious title of grossest commercial (PSA, ad.. whatever la) ever in the history of mankind.

But you've gotta give it credit for being memorable, eh?

Although... to think that we actually need to be reminded by the media of how to take care of our sewage system?

That's just SAD, man.

So fucking sad.

Let's have a few minutes of silence to mourn

Maybe there's a reason why I wake up only when the sun has risen for way more hours than me.

The simple reason that there's nothing to wake up to?

I'm rotting anyway, so why can't I rot in the comforts of my bed??? GOT ANYTHING WRONG MEH? ILLEGAL AR WTF?

K I'm starting to sound like XiaXue wtf.

That aside, something sad has happened in a friend's life. He lost his close friends to an accident! (I don't really know the details, dare not ask too much lar) OMG how freaking sad is that??? Man, how do you deal with stuff like that?

Rest in peace, people. Although I dunno who you are, R.I.P.