Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Hi, I'm bs and I'm a Xenophobic

Call me xenophobic if you will, I'm just not that into people. The word 'hate' might seem too harsh, but sometimes it nears there, when I'm particularly angsty or afflicted with PMS. Speaking about PMS, I seem to have been having it forever, but I haven't had my period yet. Maybe P does stands for perpetual/perennial after all, huh.

An example of my phobia occurs when relatives come to stay over. Be it for one night or week, I'll be itching for them to leave pronto. Why? Cause they'll be sleeping in my room. I feel as if that's an invasion of my privacy, as I like to be alone in my room reading, drawing or watching tv at night, till the wee hours of next morning. With the presence of another being in my space(starting to feel possessive), I instantly feel agitated and uncomfortable. Save for some rare occasions like when I'm watching Desperate Housewives, I actually hope my bro's present so we can laugh out loud together during those funny moments.

So when they're over, it's like my life is disrupted. I don't even get to lie on my bed and read in fear of 'disturbing their sleep'. I guess I'm just not a fan of changes. When I'm in a comfort zone, I plonk my ass there so hard that I don't wanna leave. That's not really a good trait. My aunt came to stay for a few days, and her 'little stay' protracted to over a week due to unforeseen circumstances. Needless to say, I was dying for her to leave.

I think, that I have adverse reactions to prolonged contact with people. Xenophobic is probably an understatement. Maybe that's why I feel as if I need to get away from my family. I'm getting sick of my father's voice. Like, real sick. I don't even wanna answer him or be near him cos when that speaking orifice of his opens, you betcha it'll be open for a long loooong time. But that's a rant for another post.

It seems, that I can't be with another person for too long or I'll just get sick of him/her. I think this happened to me and my BFF, but luckily things looked up. And now we're still BFF. If I lost a friendship just cos of my darn foible, that would really have sucked.

Ergo, I'm just not a good friend. Like that, how to be good girlfriend? Aiyoo... don't tell me I'm gonna be a virgin my whole life. Ok, I think I lost the plot there. Must be due to current state of somnolence, which is weird cos I was abnormally sleepy the whole day. Probably because of the weather (blame game).

And what IS with the fucked up weather huh? Absolutely sweltering the whole day. How long will this last? When mankind finally do something about global warming? Ok, that would be.... NEVER. Stupid heat make me sweat and reek like some pathetic lil' gym sock. The problem is, I perspire real easily, and my hormone fluctuations make me stink (at least, that's what I think). It could also be that I'm a born stinker *shrug*.

This post was actually pointless. I just missed blogging, that's all.

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