aaahhh.... the vibe of CNY..... ba guas n delicious cookies AND of course, ang pows! The reason we (singles) endure carrying our asses ponderously to relatives' houses, trying hard not to yawn every other sec due to lack of oxygen caused by cramped conditions. Hey I have an idea, in lieu of actually visiting you guys (relatives), why don't you mail your ang pows to us? Great idea right? We don't hafta tolerate each other's existence n all that... k thx a lot.
Sigh, not really in the mood, but then again when am I ever in the mood for ath? Looks like I'm detesting every single sec I'm alive. Save for the times when I read n draw. That's probably my therapy.
Let's see, what else is CNY abt? Apart from the cliche family reunion, it's synonymous with stuffing urself silly with endless supplies of mandarins until u finally can't stand the sight of ath orange. It's also abt getting new clothes, in ur bid to look resplendent for the new year. Or rather in my bros' case, my mom forcing new clothes on them even though they're already working n fully capable of managing their wardrobes cos she can't stand their 'I don't need new clothes' policies. She's retired n on pension n nigh on being broke, but she absolutely cannot accept that her children don't have at least a couple of new attires to welcome the new year in.
Mmmm..... dried meat, those orgasm inducing pieces of oily, greasy delicacies! Among the things that I look forward to. Ignore my distended belly I shall, during my search of temporary levity in mouth watering comestibles (I like that word, so posh!).
Let's not be remiss of the horrors of CNY too, people. Atrocious CNY songs blasting through your grey matter, threatening to sweep a wave of nausea over you, resulting in regurgitation of your savored cookies n frizzy drinks, tsk tsk such unmitigated waste. Okay, maybe that was a bit of an exaggeration. But really, we don't need more CNY CDs that are bought n played once a year, then stashed away into oblivion like somebody's forgotten hidden porn stash. And the cycle repeats itself year after year.
Neither must we forget abt those rituals n prayers the older generation put us through, praying to what what what god, burning incense n yuen bou, as if the air ain't polluted enough! Hello, global warming people?! Haven't it been scorching enough already?! Quite a waste of money, resources n ozone layer don't you think?
Oooo... firecrackers! I must say, nowadays other races play as much fireworks as Chinese people do, if not more. I wonder where the hell do my neighbours get them huh? Without firecrackers, CNY would be much much more silent, it would become a 'laconic festival' (made that up, doesn't really make sense). Though, once again, it contributes to air pollution? Can you say.... utter decadence, people? Perhaps festivals are just a chance to throw away our conscience n whatever scruples we have toward the environment
Oh for God's sake I was beginning to sound like some soppy environmentalist, I totally need to get a life.
Key word for CNY: overindulgence.