Friday, September 03, 2010

I try not to complain too much over here. As much as I might sound whiny and overall pansy over here, I really try not to fill this space with complaints about the same thing over and over again. Cos I don't like hearing people complain. It gets annoying. So I don't wanna inflict myself on others too.

But sometimes, I just wanna say, I'm tired.

I have no idea why a supposedly young person like me would say that they're tired. It's not like I asked to be this way... did I?

I'm tired of this semester. I'm tired of this place. I'm tired of myself.

I have no energy even though I don't do much. I just wanna take a deep sleep and not wake up, or wake up a gazillion years later. Maybe that's how long I need to recover from whatever it is that's tiring me out. Maybe that's how long it'll take for me to realize that the only thing tiring me out is in fact, myself.

To you: Am I not entitled to proclaim tiredness even though I'm only in my second year? If that makes me weak in your eyes, then yes I admit I'm fucking weak. You happy now?

There are many of us out there who, despite of all the flaws of the Government, all its screw ups, all the bad apples, still love our country.

If you ask me why, I can ramble on about the food and so on. But really, must there be a reason?

It's home. Isn't that enough?

Maybe what makes us, us is not the fact that we live in "racial harmony", not the fact that we have great food, not the fact that we have the unsexiest yet friendly accent, but that we have this unspoken, inexplicable love for our country although shit can get fucked up.

There are so many talented people with heart out there, I just wish there's a fucking gigantic sieve to sieve out all the bullcrap and leave on our grounds what's pure, sincere, brave, brilliant and hopeful.

Wishful thinking?

1 comment:

雅雅 said...

totally agree. i need moreeeeeeee sleeeeeeppp