Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Untitled again

Damn useless. So fucking USELESS..SS..SS. I don't understand my bro. The whole freaking pail of clothes to hang sat there for the whole freaking morning. dong mou tai dou isit? Must wait for me to come back to hang isit? I'm a maid isit? You're the emperor ISIT? IS IT???????? Now I know how mom's been feeling all these years. So irritating. Lift one finger also cannot la. How to be doctor like that? MCH AR. I'm already very useless la, can't believe elder bro more useless. Don't even seem nearing 20. More like still an immature teenager. Sheeeesssssshhhhhh.... and he thinks I'M the only spoilt one here. MCH! Aiya one day I will die young after a heart attack cos too gik sam.

It's one of those days again. Those I-wish-I-wasn't-born days / Hoping-to-strangle-someone-or-myself days / Wanting-to-scream-out-loud days. Most probably PMS. I think. It's times like these that I wish I was a boy. Sigh. Such a shitty mood. Enough shit to make a three-tier chocolate cake. Really, sometimes I think that I'm just a mistake. I shouldn't be here. Redundant existence. More burden to parents. Why couldn't they have stopped after 4 children? Shit. Never heard of condom isit. MCH.

How the hell did I end up being who I am today? I don't like it ok. I don't like it at all. I hate it. I know wallowing in self-pity wont do anything but I can't help it. Mostly when my mind wanders, the self-loathing begins. I think sometimes mom regrets ever getting married. And getting married to dad. She probably envies her single friends who I think, have much less restrictions and more indulgences.

People really should think thoroughly when they decide to have babies. They should be really really really sure that they can handle it. There's something called contraception, damnit. Don't be irresponsible and let someone be brought to this world to suffer.

Sigh. Birthday's coming. I want a punching bag, so can vent. So much repressed frustrations to let out. This blog is sooo pathetic, only have 6 posts.Damn fail.

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