After years of boycotting anything PINK, especially bright pink, I've gotta admit that I actually like colours and am not all black and dark. The refusal to buy or associate myself with anything pink stemmed from the feeling of being brainwashed into liking that colour. It was like my mom's favourite colour, not mine. She was the one who bought me pink clothes, cos duh a girl surely likes pink right. So now, after years of that subtle, unconscious brainwashing, I'm like "eww pink, DISGUSTING."
Despite that revulsion, I find myself actually drawn to pastel colours. Even pastel pink. It's bright, tacky pink that I would not wear / touch with a ten foot pole. What is it about pastel colours that makes a girl go all fluttery inside wtf? I guess there is still a girly girl inside me wtf.
Speaking about brainwashing, I've mentioned over here before how my dad's shoving his passion in everyone's faces have left me practically repulsed at the idea of pursuing it. This is something that I've learnt about myself over the years. If there's anything that I know about myself, it's that the more you ask me to do something, the more I'm inclined NOT to do it wtf. (That being said, reverse psychology could probably work on me... tell me not to do something and I'll do it wtf.)
Is it cos I'm a rebel? I think it's more... being fed up of listening to people telling me what to do. Sick of being a spineless pushover. And that's how I've developed this reflex of shutting the noise out when being told what I should do, or what I'm supposed to do.
I would just like to ask, why the fuck should anyone live one's life according to anyone else's dictation?
I stand by the principle that, unless you're hurting anyone else, unless you're bringing any sort of harm to others, just do whatever the fuck you want. Develop your own intellectual thoughts, your own moral principles, your own interests and preferences.
IT'S YOUR FUCKING LIFE SO DON'T LET ANYONE TELL YOU OTHERWISE!
Shit! I just gave myself a pep talk wtf.