Saturday, May 31, 2008

I have a lot going on in my mind.

And I have nothing going on in my mind.

Is that even possible?

What I'm feeling right now is lying-on-the-bed-silently-weeping-wondering-why-the-tears-ain't-coming-kinda emptiness. You familiar with that feeling?

It's very different from bawling-your-eyes-out-clawing-at-your-heart-cos-it-just-hurts-SO-MUCH sensation.

The difference is for the latter, the tears come much easier.

Back then I would say what I had was moderate to severe depression. Now, I mean right at this moment, it's just mild depression...? So... that's a good thing right?

Some self-sabotaging part of me wishes that I could go back to those days. Where I had a reason to cry. Or it seemed that I had a valid, indisputable reason.

Yeap, it's one of those days.

One of those days where you just wanna lie somewhere and slowly rot and cease to exist. Cos it wouldn't make a difference anyway. Nobody would even notice.

Ahh, what the heck.

I'll be better.

I think.

No, I will.

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