Saturday, August 22, 2009

Tat woes

FML.

In yet another bout (more like decade) of procrastination, I'm wondering what should I get as my next tattoo.

Fuck, I have 3 tests next week, and this is what's plaguing my mind. I'm freaking itching to get another tattoo, goddammit. But as much as I wanna get inked again, I can't seem to figure out what the hell to get.

Mainly, I think it's because I don't have a discernible passion to call my own. I got my first cos well, it was more about giving tribute to the spirit of rock. Breaking rules, not kowtowing to authority, not giving a damn, being freaks of nature and still not giving a damn. And yeah inside of us all, however tiny it may be, don't we possess dreams to be a rock star? Hah.

And I thought of getting a guitar to go with it, but it would've been too big for comfort so I chickened out sigh. Plus there wasn't any design that particularly caught my eye.

This itch is not being help with the fact that my thought process is fucking all over the place.

Fast forward to the present, I'm still considering a guitar. On my right hip. Now I'm thinking, what justice will that do to me? Will I eventually learn how to play the electric guitar? I'm not a fucking rock star. What justice will that do to the tat? Years down the line, when I'm still mediocre as crap, what significance will the tat bring to me? That I once thought the electric guitar was the shiznit? Will I still feel that by then? Oh oh why not get the guitar at my back like I originally thought of? Difference is this time I won't chicken out right? Then! Then, I can save my hip for another type of tat some more!

Fuck.

Other than the guitar, I was thinking of getting a trail of stars embellishing my 'ROCK'. Hmm but a bit cliche right? And again, I'm not a fucking rock star. But wait a min, must I be a rock star to get that kind of tat?

I want to get an image this time, but fuck I dunno what to get! Argharghargh... a beaten down fairy? Cliche, and I'm not kinkybluefairy. It was a picture I drew some time ago... but still where to put it? Hip seems kinda wrong. Shoulder blade? Hmm but then it'll be on the same canvas with my 'ROCK'. Doesn't seem compatible either. Oh shit did I just determine the theme for my whole back with my first tat? Shit.

Hmmmm...

Just now, I thought of getting a quote. Cos dude, you can't really go wrong with quotes. BUT, I'm like not well read enough to have a quote ready that I totally can relate to and want it on my body no matter what. Fuck again. Scour the Web for an inspirational quote and call it a day? Wouldn't that be too forced? Too deliberate? I want it to come sorta natural, you know.

Then I thought of getting a Chinese quote, perhaps. So I thought of what Chinese proverbs do I still remember from my high school days, the good old '名句精华's. What came to mind was tadaaa.... '哀莫大于心死'. Man, this is so apt. I really wouldn't mind having this on my bod. Loosely translated it means, there's no bigger sorrow than being dead inside. Than losing all hope. Loosely translated la. Yeah, I can relate to that.

So should I? Where?

On my ribcage Ala Megan Fox? But damnnn that'll be painful. Way more painful than my first one.

So, should I??

Wait, that's not it. THEN, I started drawing a picture to go with the saying, a beaten down nubile naked girl wtf, actually similar to the beaten down fairy I drew years ago.

So I went on, wondering... should I put wings? Fuck that's cliche right!... but nothing says beaten down more than broken wings wtf. Again I went fuck! how many millions of people out there have angel tats I ask you? Dig deep bitch!

So.

Hmm.. maybe I should draw a beaten down devil instead? Nothing much, just add the little tail WTF.

Fuck, I hate myself.

Wait no! This is not the end!

And for whatever reason, I began drawing mermaids. I suppose I thought that opposed to angels, mermaids are not as cliched. Besides, I've always had this fascination over mermaids. Imagine if they were real man. Beautiful creatures of the sea, living in a totally different world than ours. I also can't get over how tragic the Little Mermaid's story is.

Like, why didn't the prince fall in love with her? Why did she have to jump back into the sea and turn into foam? Granted, she could earn a soul, but that would take her what, 300 years (If I remember correctly)?? Fuck! I'll give her my soul wtf humans don't deserve it anyway.

Sigh. You see I had these story books at home. Cinderella, Little Mermaid, Princess and the Pea, Rumpelstiltskin and so on. I loved the illustrations. Particularly Little Mermaid's. Cos fuck, she was damn beautiful aight! Especially the one pic where she was dancing. I still remember that her feet hurt when she walked, let alone dance. But still, she was the best dancer there. She also gave away her voice. All for the prince to fall in love with her.

But FUCK! The prince went and married the stupid princess! My God. Tragic much?? Whyyy??

Fuck. I'm so digressing.

Er, so yeah. That's how the little mermaid made such an impression on me.

Sigh. Now I still dunno what to get and have to go cook dinner.

FML.

1 comment:

Ji Yan said...

have been thinking of my tat too sigh wtf..but i jus dunno wat to get. it must be a quote, like sumth 2 remind myself, sumth soul-related WTFFFFFF dunno la man man think laaaa fuck.