After all the emo-ness just now, I shall proceed to the next thing I wanna blog about wtf.
Is there a saying that goes like this, "What doesn't kill us makes us stronger"?
I dunno what got me thinking about it. Could be my dad, cos if this taking-on-more-than-he-can-handle shit doesn't kill him, he'll become stronger see? Or so I hope. Either that, or it could be Kanye West's "Stronger".
Harder Better Faster Stronger"
So anyway, it made me think... have I grown stronger? Am I a stronger person compared to the school girl that cried non stop in the school toilet countless times?
By the way, crying non stop is a sign of weakness to me. Totally.
Sigh. I'd like to think that I've become stronger since then... but who am I kidding? I basically feel like the same ol' same ol'. The same weakling that broke down God-knows-how-many-times. Depression could have killed me. It could have driven me to suicide or what. But it didn't. (Cos I had no guts to actually commit the act. Har har) And did the dark period make me stronger? Honestly I dunno... And I'm inclined to think 'No'.
Because I still break down once in awhile. I still have no inkling on how to deal with stress and pressure. I don't feel that I've gained wisdom or strength.
Why haven't I grown??? (T_T) All those tears I shed for nothing? wtf
And speaking about pressure, I have discovered something about myself. (One step closer to self discovery, woohoo. -_-)
Just a simple fact that, I DON'T WORK WELL UNDER PRESSURE.
Well it works the other way for some people. For some people, the more pressure they're in, the better they can work and the better the results they can achieve. Like when they can only work when it's nearing the deadline, and they'll still manage in time with wonderful results. (Gosh I envy/hate these people wtf)
But that's not the case with me. Nah-uhh. When under pressure, I procrastinate. Procrastinate like nobody's business wtf. Procrastinate as if I have alllll the freaking time in the world. When in reality I have everything except time.
I'm the champion procrastinator I tell you. Blogging is one of my procrastinating activities (PA), actually. And reading blogs have been a major, MAJOR PA. I blog hop, re-discover forgotten blogs, and read all the archives wtf. I swear, it's as if I have nothing else better to do. (But I do damnit!!!)
Or I Stumble. Yeap, Stumbling can be pretty time-consuming. Just cos of the fact that one can go on and on and on and on and never tire, as there are infinite interesting sites to stumble upon! (Long live the Internet!)
Or I watch tv. Once I start, I can't stop wtf. And the shows I watch are mostly on at night, so by the time I finish watching it's like 'eh, so late already ar. so what do I do now. I should finish my work. but feel like reading some blogs first.' HENCE THE VICIOUS CYCLE CONTINUES. -__-
Boohoo. Somebody stop me please. Procrastinating is like such a self-destructing behaviour. Yet one can't help surrendering oneself to it.
What is wrong with me??? *Hysterical*