Gosh. I'm blogging everyday now? Can't remember when was the last time that happened.
It's the wee hours in the morning again. I practically whiled the day away when I should have been diligently and frantically finishing my assignment.
Why am I so fucking hopeless like this???
Why can't I bring myself to complete it once and for all because you have a freaking timeline to take note of bitch.
I don't know!!! WHY????????
The clock's definitely ticking and mind you, you're no Hiro, you can't stop time ok. You can't shut your eyes and arrive anywhere or anytime you desire. Or more accurately, you can't break the space/time continuum (whatever that means).
Heck, it's already freaking Wednesday!!!!
Oh my Gawd can someone just do me the favour of killing me.
And you have to be done by what, Saturday? Please lar hurry up lar!!!
Ugh. I sooo hate myself sometimes. No wait. How bout friggin' ALL THE TIME. Bitch.
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Sigh. I wish I could write. Like freaking touch people with what I write. Be inspiring. Make people want to read more. Make people think 'hey, she's damn good!' or plain 'Wow'. Ah, but those are nothing but wishful thinking. I guess an insecure, self-loathing 17 year old won't be able to write to save her life?
I wish I could be funny and charming in writing too. Some people just pull that off effortlessly. It's already in them.
When I read back on previous posts, I mostly cringe and think 'oh God wtf why do I write like that' Seriously. Why?
I'll feel ashamed and be grateful time and again that nobody actually reads these shit. Cos if anyone did, he/she will start convulsing immediately. I doubt anyone can stand more than one sentence.
See, even the author seems to be embarassed. (Just like how a teenager can get damn embarassed of their parents sometimes.) Apatah lagi other human beings. Pffftt.
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On a totally unrelated note, do you sometimes think that parents exist solely to put you down? To discourage you, to convince you that you aren't actually as good as you think you are. Well it's probably unintentional, of course. Maybe not wtf.
Well, has that thought slipped through your mind before?
I'm asking that cos it has, for me. More than once. Well this probably requires some elaboration and I could provide them, IF I could write well wtf.
If only I'm a master with words. I could type all the crap I want and still have people peruse it wtf.
Or have you asked yourself the question of why must parents impose their own beliefs or interests in their children? WHY??? *desperate tone wtf*
Look, just because we share the same DNA or genes or whatever crap with you doesn't mean that we ARE you.
Is it a crime to be a little different? Is it a shame? Aren't we separate individuals with different minds? You can think for yourself, I can think for myself. You feel what you feel, I feel what I feel. We are different sentient beings!!! I cannot stress that enough.
So all I need from you once in awhile is a lil STFU (for those unaware, it stands for Shut The Fuck Up). Is that too much to ask for?
Yes, you brought me into this world. You are responsible to take care of me because of that. Because hell, I didn't ask to be born in the first place! And I should be grateful you actually brought me to this shit hole? Yeah well thanks a lot. Pffffffffft. Oh yeah that sounds mighty ungrateful and disrespectful, I know. I guess I have a lot of pent up angst and emo-ness after so many moody years. It could be a phase.
And stop asking if I love you. Cos I pretty much have to. (-Jake, from Two and a Half Men) And you pretty much have to love me too. But I'm not even sure what love means or how it feels.
Sigh. I could blame everybody I want. Except for myself. For turning into this depressed, depressing creature. Cos it's my freaking blog and nobody reads it. *emo*
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What is freaking wrong with the weather nowadays huh? It has been sweltering!!! Nothing short of scorching or melting. Results in constant pespiration, body odour, sweat patches, cranky mood and search for effective cooling methods (i.e. bumming around, cold victuals, dozing off etc [not that any of these proved effective wtf]).
And since moi wakes up in the afternoon, like 1 or 2pm, one wakes up immersed in numbing heat waves. The hot air practically cranks up the Fucked-Up-Mood-O-Meter and forces one to get up even though one yearns to get some more shut eye, just for a fewwww more minutes (translate: half an hour or an hour).
I tell you, the heat, the unforgiving HEAT envelopes you and renders the fan useless. It causes every part of you that isn't exposed to the air circulated by the fan (wtf dunno how else to put it) to break out in sweat. To be mi-cro-waved. And that's still an understatement.
So I wonder how could some Malaysians actually hate snow (!) after they have gone overseas. *gasp!*
Maybe after the novelty of it wears off, they just realise it's just frozen water and that it permits people to pee everywhere? Wtf.