My house is being renovated and Oh My God the noise! I was woken up abruptly at around 9.30am. Which is wayyyy early for me. All those drilling, hammering, and god-knows-what-else, you know what kind of noise they emit right? Yeah, imagine that 100 times louder cos I was practically behind the walls that were violently enveloped by shock waves. It was like sleeping in an amplifier. Only worse. I could even feel the floor vibrating, damnit. Which ended up in my waking up with uncontrollable spasms. Ugh, the trauma.
Somehow, I'm just not quite comfortable with changes. I'm the kind of person that prefers settling in her comfort zone. Wouldn't it be great if we're SIMians and everything could be changed with just a click of the mouse?
The noise totally wrecked my mood to study. So this couple of days I've practically been slacking off. Hence, this renovation can be an excuse for my failure in the exams. Yeah right...
Sunday, October 29, 2006
Friday, October 27, 2006
Blue Skies
Oh oh! The sky is soooo blue today! The sun is shining bright! Albeit just now it rained a lil... But it's still very tempting!
I feel I should be in a vast meadow somewhere, wearing some girly fluffy dress, prancing around in its lush greenness, chasing butterflies, giggling like an innocent schoolgirl (wait I AM a schoolgirl, but innocent? hmm..) ....
and sleeping on the soft green carpet when I get tired. Ahhh... that would be life!
Too bad, here I am stuck at home and dancing only in my mind. Pathetic betul.
Quote viewtru (about blue skies) :"A gift of nature, which many take for granted, fills my life with awesomeness."
I feel I should be in a vast meadow somewhere, wearing some girly fluffy dress, prancing around in its lush greenness, chasing butterflies, giggling like an innocent schoolgirl (wait I AM a schoolgirl, but innocent? hmm..) ....
and sleeping on the soft green carpet when I get tired. Ahhh... that would be life!
Too bad, here I am stuck at home and dancing only in my mind. Pathetic betul.
Quote viewtru (about blue skies) :"A gift of nature, which many take for granted, fills my life with awesomeness."
Feeling Royal
My stomach was in pain, and I ran to upstairs toilet wondering who put laxative in my food (a common thought for me in times of an emergency like this). Sitting on the toilet seat doing my "soothing" business (it wasn't exactly soothing, I was in pain and I swear my anus was ripped open)... err, back to my point.
The artificial orange light (toilet light) and natural sunlight came together, casting multicolour streaks of light by the window. The unlikely camaraderie made the toilet look pristine, clean for a change. For a moment, I felt I was basking in the gentle sunlight.
I looked around, suddenly feeling quite tiny in the toilet. In my mind's eye, I was in a mansion or castle with the ceiling wayyy up high and intricate designs decorated it. There even hung a spectacular chandelier.
Wooh, I felt ROYAL. There I was, a royal descendant sitting on my royal throne doing my superior "royal business". The reflective floor caught my eye and I smiled. Who knew having diarrhoea would be so liberating, eh?
The artificial orange light (toilet light) and natural sunlight came together, casting multicolour streaks of light by the window. The unlikely camaraderie made the toilet look pristine, clean for a change. For a moment, I felt I was basking in the gentle sunlight.
I looked around, suddenly feeling quite tiny in the toilet. In my mind's eye, I was in a mansion or castle with the ceiling wayyy up high and intricate designs decorated it. There even hung a spectacular chandelier.
Wooh, I felt ROYAL. There I was, a royal descendant sitting on my royal throne doing my superior "royal business". The reflective floor caught my eye and I smiled. Who knew having diarrhoea would be so liberating, eh?
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Concerns
Ooooooo... that day I had fun messing around with my template. It's equivalent to having a Barbie doll and loads of mini clothes, getting to mix and match to your heart's content. So much fun!!! But I don't think I did a very good job... since it was during the wee hours of morning and my conscience was nagging.
Yesterday, or rather today (around 3 am) I was spending my time drawing instead of studying. Great! Way to go! Wohoo! Sigh, when will I ever learn?
And before I slept, I kinda came to the conclusion that the only 1As I'm gonna get in SPM is for English, Modern Maths and Chemistry...
Cannot like that! Must be positive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yesterday, or rather today (around 3 am) I was spending my time drawing instead of studying. Great! Way to go! Wohoo! Sigh, when will I ever learn?
And before I slept, I kinda came to the conclusion that the only 1As I'm gonna get in SPM is for English, Modern Maths and Chemistry...
Cannot like that! Must be positive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Restless
I feel like rambling today. I think I'm addicted to blog-hopping. Totally OBSESSED. I'm like, checking on blogs every single minute. Crossing my fingers and hoping that people will update. And when they don't, I click on random links on their site, just to find something interesting to read. Sheesh. Cannot like that..... must concentrate! Must study! Arghh... update la you people!!
I wish this restlessness will pass, fast. Is there any way to obtain 24-hour attentiveness? I'm so failing at studying my ass off. If my SPM results suck, I'll probably feel guilty and cry my ass off cos I know that I didn't try my best.
And OH MY GOD, I have cellu-freaking-lite! I'm like what, 16?! Only 16 and already have cellulite? What the heck! These ripples on my thighs were there before, I just chose to ignore it (probably in denial) But now, there's no point in running away from the truth anymore. It's horrifying! My sedentary lifestyle has taken its toll on my body. Next, I'm gonna discover that 95% of my arteries are clogged. Anytime now... anytime now...
After SPM, I have to get off my ass and exercise like there's no tomorrow! No more lame excuses! And boy do I have a huge ass or what! *peers at humongous blocks of grease behind* I'll have a hard time lugging my baggage to the front door, even. Sigh...
Must study! Must concentrate! Must study! Must concentrate! Must... study.... must.. concen... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
I wish this restlessness will pass, fast. Is there any way to obtain 24-hour attentiveness? I'm so failing at studying my ass off. If my SPM results suck, I'll probably feel guilty and cry my ass off cos I know that I didn't try my best.
And OH MY GOD, I have cellu-freaking-lite! I'm like what, 16?! Only 16 and already have cellulite? What the heck! These ripples on my thighs were there before, I just chose to ignore it (probably in denial) But now, there's no point in running away from the truth anymore. It's horrifying! My sedentary lifestyle has taken its toll on my body. Next, I'm gonna discover that 95% of my arteries are clogged. Anytime now... anytime now...
After SPM, I have to get off my ass and exercise like there's no tomorrow! No more lame excuses! And boy do I have a huge ass or what! *peers at humongous blocks of grease behind* I'll have a hard time lugging my baggage to the front door, even. Sigh...
Must study! Must concentrate! Must study! Must concentrate! Must... study.... must.. concen... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Friday, October 20, 2006
Encounters
Wednesday, I had my first encounter with a drunkard! The 4 of us went for lunch at Petaling Street. When we sat down, A sensed something was wrong at the next table. The guy kept on staring at C. I was the last one to know, as usual (cos I'm slow and unobservant liddat). So we moved closer together, as far away from him as possible.
And then he started ranting loudly:"You all don't have to be scared! I will protect you! I'm (insert sth) God! Hahahaha!" WTF ar... during our meal we were scared out of our shits and pissed in our pants. The latter is not true, of course. He asked:"Do you want to go to heaven with me? I'll bring you to heaven!" and other shits,"Study hard! I love you!" "I wont bring you to heaven, don't worry... I'll only bring those who betrayed me...." etc.
Luckily he wasn't violent. He was practically harmless. But still we were scared and C was grabbing my thigh relentlessly. Somehow, I had this faint urge to just punch him in the face or slap him senseless. "Get a grip on yourself! Stop bothering us!" If I were PMS-ing, my hormones surely would have drove me to do that. At the same time, I kinda pitied him. I was wondering what kind of turmoil did he experience.
He left before we finished our meal. He had a hand luggage with him. My friend, B said that he looked as if he was gonna commit suicide! When I thought abt it, yeah.. it pretty much looked like that right? And I linked it to that Spiderman comic strip when Peter Parker mistook someone else's bag for his. That guy wanted to commit suicide eh! Perhaps the drunkard had a newspaper in his luggage too? Just like in the comic strip!
Pffftt.. what am I rambling abt. This was probably my first encounter with a drunkard or anyone emotionally disturbed. BUT it really pales in comparison with other incidents our friends experienced. The same day at a cafe, they met a pervert who was staring and smiling at them lecherously while gyrating his groin! Or sth obscene like that la, I was not at the scene ma... The worst incident happened to another friend! Somebody flashed on the bus eh! Ewwwww... why are there so many pervs around? I'm lucky in the sense that I've never met one.. hey wait a min! I have!
I met a hamsup old ah pek twice! It was probably the same guy. The first time, he kinda walked past me and touched my hand from the elbow down. That time I thought it was just an accident, maybe he accidentally bumped into me liddat. But the second time! That sei hamsup lou tried to touch my thigh while walking past me again!! Fucker! It was only a light touch and the fucker really can walk fast! By the time I realised what had happened, he was already quite far away crossing the street! I looked back and realised in horror, OMG ah pek again! Must be the same jerk! What the hell does he do? Walk abt everyday preying on innocent schoolgirls? That's so sick and twisted! MCH! I hope he's already dead by now! Hmph!
And then he started ranting loudly:"You all don't have to be scared! I will protect you! I'm (insert sth) God! Hahahaha!" WTF ar... during our meal we were scared out of our shits and pissed in our pants. The latter is not true, of course. He asked:"Do you want to go to heaven with me? I'll bring you to heaven!" and other shits,"Study hard! I love you!" "I wont bring you to heaven, don't worry... I'll only bring those who betrayed me...." etc.
Luckily he wasn't violent. He was practically harmless. But still we were scared and C was grabbing my thigh relentlessly. Somehow, I had this faint urge to just punch him in the face or slap him senseless. "Get a grip on yourself! Stop bothering us!" If I were PMS-ing, my hormones surely would have drove me to do that. At the same time, I kinda pitied him. I was wondering what kind of turmoil did he experience.
He left before we finished our meal. He had a hand luggage with him. My friend, B said that he looked as if he was gonna commit suicide! When I thought abt it, yeah.. it pretty much looked like that right? And I linked it to that Spiderman comic strip when Peter Parker mistook someone else's bag for his. That guy wanted to commit suicide eh! Perhaps the drunkard had a newspaper in his luggage too? Just like in the comic strip!
Pffftt.. what am I rambling abt. This was probably my first encounter with a drunkard or anyone emotionally disturbed. BUT it really pales in comparison with other incidents our friends experienced. The same day at a cafe, they met a pervert who was staring and smiling at them lecherously while gyrating his groin! Or sth obscene like that la, I was not at the scene ma... The worst incident happened to another friend! Somebody flashed on the bus eh! Ewwwww... why are there so many pervs around? I'm lucky in the sense that I've never met one.. hey wait a min! I have!
I met a hamsup old ah pek twice! It was probably the same guy. The first time, he kinda walked past me and touched my hand from the elbow down. That time I thought it was just an accident, maybe he accidentally bumped into me liddat. But the second time! That sei hamsup lou tried to touch my thigh while walking past me again!! Fucker! It was only a light touch and the fucker really can walk fast! By the time I realised what had happened, he was already quite far away crossing the street! I looked back and realised in horror, OMG ah pek again! Must be the same jerk! What the hell does he do? Walk abt everyday preying on innocent schoolgirls? That's so sick and twisted! MCH! I hope he's already dead by now! Hmph!
Friday, October 13, 2006
I is a speck of dust
Lately, I don't know why but I've been feeling sentimental and all that. Yesterday, there I was on my bed trying to sleep. Then, I remembered a magazine article about ways to sharpen your mind. One of them was try to randomly choose a year and think back on any interesting events that happened, before going to bed. Ok, I thought, easy enough, let's try that.
So, I chose 6 years ago, when I was in Standard 5. Then I started to get all nostalgic, you know, because honestly Standard 5 was one of my best years, I guess. At least that's what I think. That year was a good year..... I was reminiscing on my admirers.... hahahaha.... damn, I was popular! Ok, end gloating. And then, MCH I went waaayyy back to kindergarten, and tried to remember anything during those years as well. That was totally uncalled for. Why the heck did I do that? The article only stated ONE year.
Sheesh. From kindergarten I went on to Std 1, 2, 3 and so on and so on. At least I TRIED to recall events, but seeing that I don't have a sharp memory... vague scenes just appeared in my (blank) head. Gosh, I realised that I was so totally freaking shy. That may have improved a lil bit over the years. But I'm still quite shy eh. Some events were hilarious, some embarassing, it was like a slideshow in my head.
I wished that I could start over. Numerous "If only"s pranced about in my head, teasing me endlessly. 'If only I was more daring' 'If only I wasn't so shy' 'If only I was a born leader' etc. And that was the moment that tears welled up in my eyes. The bitter-sour feeling deep down my throat lingered. But tears didn't flow. I was a bit confused. I didn't get why I felt like crying. It was just so sudden. I was like,"OMG, WTF, where did these tears come from?"
It was probably caused by regrets. Regrets that the whole 16 years of my life had been NOTHING. There were no precious memories, nothing worth mentioning at all. Like, what did I DO all those past years??! NOTHING!!
In the end, I felt like crap and lost maybe an hour of precious sleep. MCH that stupid article.
*This has been sitting as my draft for over a week now. Lost the mood to blog abt it liao.
So, I chose 6 years ago, when I was in Standard 5. Then I started to get all nostalgic, you know, because honestly Standard 5 was one of my best years, I guess. At least that's what I think. That year was a good year..... I was reminiscing on my admirers.... hahahaha.... damn, I was popular! Ok, end gloating. And then, MCH I went waaayyy back to kindergarten, and tried to remember anything during those years as well. That was totally uncalled for. Why the heck did I do that? The article only stated ONE year.
Sheesh. From kindergarten I went on to Std 1, 2, 3 and so on and so on. At least I TRIED to recall events, but seeing that I don't have a sharp memory... vague scenes just appeared in my (blank) head. Gosh, I realised that I was so totally freaking shy. That may have improved a lil bit over the years. But I'm still quite shy eh. Some events were hilarious, some embarassing, it was like a slideshow in my head.
I wished that I could start over. Numerous "If only"s pranced about in my head, teasing me endlessly. 'If only I was more daring' 'If only I wasn't so shy' 'If only I was a born leader' etc. And that was the moment that tears welled up in my eyes. The bitter-sour feeling deep down my throat lingered. But tears didn't flow. I was a bit confused. I didn't get why I felt like crying. It was just so sudden. I was like,"OMG, WTF, where did these tears come from?"
It was probably caused by regrets. Regrets that the whole 16 years of my life had been NOTHING. There were no precious memories, nothing worth mentioning at all. Like, what did I DO all those past years??! NOTHING!!
In the end, I felt like crap and lost maybe an hour of precious sleep. MCH that stupid article.
*This has been sitting as my draft for over a week now. Lost the mood to blog abt it liao.
Monday, September 25, 2006
The Worst Period of My Life
Of all the days and seconds to have my period, I must have it during my Bio paper? This has got to be the most cynical period I will ever have! The paper also had a question regarding the period cycle. Is this some kind of a sick joke or what? I was praying with every fibre of my being that it was only discharge... you know, after that feeling of sth gushing out from you-know-where.
Sigh. Had to wash my panties and eth... so troublesome! Anyway, I don't think I did very well. Oh well, more proof that I'm not doctor material! I was sweating profusely and simply wrote some gibberish, hoping that somehow I would get some sympathy marks. So pathetic, man. And my seat is so humid and freaking hot somemore, like sitting in a sauna room only...
I have this theory, right, that every group of studious girls have at least one guy member, a guy that prefers to mix with girls. This fella usually is considered the "Responsible One". At least more responsible and sensible that the other guys in the class. He would be dubbed a nerd/geek by the other guys. Some sort of an awkward position la. Actually, my bro is somewhat that kind of guy. His reason? Normal guys don't study... but he also has guy friends la, just that his girl friends outnumber them by a lot a lot. And, my class also has a guy like that. Which mixes with me and the other "nerdy" girls of my class (hinting that moi is a studious girl). Therefore, I came up with this lame conclusion. Kinda presumptuous and judgemental, I know. This is in my effort to sharpen my observation skills eh. Cos my observation sucks and all. That's totally why I have nothing to blog about.
"You suck!" (talking to myself)
lalalala...
Sigh. Had to wash my panties and eth... so troublesome! Anyway, I don't think I did very well. Oh well, more proof that I'm not doctor material! I was sweating profusely and simply wrote some gibberish, hoping that somehow I would get some sympathy marks. So pathetic, man. And my seat is so humid and freaking hot somemore, like sitting in a sauna room only...
I have this theory, right, that every group of studious girls have at least one guy member, a guy that prefers to mix with girls. This fella usually is considered the "Responsible One". At least more responsible and sensible that the other guys in the class. He would be dubbed a nerd/geek by the other guys. Some sort of an awkward position la. Actually, my bro is somewhat that kind of guy. His reason? Normal guys don't study... but he also has guy friends la, just that his girl friends outnumber them by a lot a lot. And, my class also has a guy like that. Which mixes with me and the other "nerdy" girls of my class (hinting that moi is a studious girl). Therefore, I came up with this lame conclusion. Kinda presumptuous and judgemental, I know. This is in my effort to sharpen my observation skills eh. Cos my observation sucks and all. That's totally why I have nothing to blog about.
"You suck!" (talking to myself)
lalalala...
Friday, September 22, 2006
Reality Sucks
Whoa it has been almost a month since my last post. 4 more days of trial left. Sigh. We have too freaking much subjects to study for. 11 freaking subjects,ok. And what pisses me off are those useless ones, like Moral, History, EST... Tell me, what the heck are those for? I don't understand those ppl who take as many subjects as they can. What's the freaking point man I ask you. (Ok la maybe I'm just being envious here)
And I'm finding myself less and less interested in Science. Perhaps I'm just not a Science person. Kinda like the black sheep of the family. I have NO IDEA what I wanna do after SPM, NO IDEA what I wanna be, NO IDEA what the hell am I yadda yadda yadda... A disturbing thought that occured to me a long time ago was I incapable of doing anything, except studying! I don't have any marketable skills or talent, making me useless like shit (heck, even shit has its uses), thus rendering me a lifetime of parasitic existence, sucking off all my parents' money till the end. OH MY GOD! And I don't even LIKE studying! OH. MY. FREAKING. GOD. Reality hit me hard. (Am I using God's name in vain here? Will I be sued for blasphemy? OMG)
See, my life is as interesting as a sloth's. Bleah.
And I'm finding myself less and less interested in Science. Perhaps I'm just not a Science person. Kinda like the black sheep of the family. I have NO IDEA what I wanna do after SPM, NO IDEA what I wanna be, NO IDEA what the hell am I yadda yadda yadda... A disturbing thought that occured to me a long time ago was I incapable of doing anything, except studying! I don't have any marketable skills or talent, making me useless like shit (heck, even shit has its uses), thus rendering me a lifetime of parasitic existence, sucking off all my parents' money till the end. OH MY GOD! And I don't even LIKE studying! OH. MY. FREAKING. GOD. Reality hit me hard. (Am I using God's name in vain here? Will I be sued for blasphemy? OMG)
See, my life is as interesting as a sloth's. Bleah.
Saturday, August 26, 2006
Rambling... Again
Actually I have nothing to blog about since well, no life and all. But quite long haven't blogged already so, fingers starting to itch. Another reason is because my mom and two bros are back. I can't be blogging in front of them right... that's a big no-no. NO ONE in my family can know that I'm blogging. NO ONE.
Sigh. What the heck am I rambling about. Must study. No time left. MUST STUDY..... Argh... I seem to have lost the will to study a long time ago. All I want to do is to read a good novel. Ahhhh... the good old days, good old days. I'm craving for that book, "Rape". Don't know why, I just wanna read it. Or maybe getting some chick-lit. I actually haven't read any chick-lit before... it'll probably be a nice change from thrillers.
Help. I want to read. Not reference books. Not text books. I want NOVELS, damnit.
*sob* :'(
Sigh. What the heck am I rambling about. Must study. No time left. MUST STUDY..... Argh... I seem to have lost the will to study a long time ago. All I want to do is to read a good novel. Ahhhh... the good old days, good old days. I'm craving for that book, "Rape". Don't know why, I just wanna read it. Or maybe getting some chick-lit. I actually haven't read any chick-lit before... it'll probably be a nice change from thrillers.
Help. I want to read. Not reference books. Not text books. I want NOVELS, damnit.
*sob* :'(
Saturday, August 19, 2006
Wallet... Lost
I lost my freaking wallet yesterday! This is the second time I've lost my wallet. Sheesh. So annoying. I think it was left on the bus that I took to tuition. The first wallet was also lost this way! Damnit. (if I remember correctly)
I took it out to pay for the bus ticket and I think I forgot to put it back. Sigh. Why the hell am I so forgetful?? I have the memory of a goldfish. The worst part of it all is that wallet was my birthday present. IT WAS NEW. I only used for not more than a month. *sob* Give me back my pink wallet! And my money! The moolah inside! I think could be RM19 somewhere there. Sighhhhhhhhh....
I took it out to pay for the bus ticket and I think I forgot to put it back. Sigh. Why the hell am I so forgetful?? I have the memory of a goldfish. The worst part of it all is that wallet was my birthday present. IT WAS NEW. I only used for not more than a month. *sob* Give me back my pink wallet! And my money! The moolah inside! I think could be RM19 somewhere there. Sighhhhhhhhh....
Thursday, August 17, 2006
Going Crazy
My dad is driving me absofuckinglutely crazy. Every single fucking day, without fail he will nag on and on and on and on and on and on about studying, planning my studies, exam, no A no future blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.............
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! JUST KILL ME! GET A FUCKING GUN AND KILL ME! I DON'T CARE ANYMORE! ALL YOU MAKING ME DO IS WANTING TO SCREAM MY FREAKING LUNGS OUT!!!!!!!!! STUDY STUDY STUDY STUDY!!!!!!! FUCK IT! JUST KILL ME AND GET IT OVER WITH!
Every time he starts with the lecture, I just feel like stabbing myself again and again, just so he will stop. I just wanna shout "STOP IT! STOP IT!!!!!!!!! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!!!!!! LET ME GO!!!!! SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP!!!!!!!!! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He doesn't get how much pressure he is giving me right now. Every morning is torture cos it will be full of dread when he's fetching me to school. Every moment with him is stress cos fearing the moment he opens his mouth. Not a single second of TV is allowed. Again, he opens his mouth and says with his high-pitched annoying fucked up voice:"You still got time to watch tv ar?...." MY GOD. I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE. PLEASE. KILL ME. I CAN'T TAKE ANYMORE OF THIS MENTAL TORMENT.
All the lecture DOES NOT HELP OK. It worsens things up. Why isn't he tired of repeating the same things again and again and again and again and again AND AGAIN! I'm so FUCKING sick of it!!!!!!!!!!
*bangs head at wall repeatedly*
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! JUST KILL ME! GET A FUCKING GUN AND KILL ME! I DON'T CARE ANYMORE! ALL YOU MAKING ME DO IS WANTING TO SCREAM MY FREAKING LUNGS OUT!!!!!!!!! STUDY STUDY STUDY STUDY!!!!!!! FUCK IT! JUST KILL ME AND GET IT OVER WITH!
Every time he starts with the lecture, I just feel like stabbing myself again and again, just so he will stop. I just wanna shout "STOP IT! STOP IT!!!!!!!!! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!!!!!! LET ME GO!!!!! SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP!!!!!!!!! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He doesn't get how much pressure he is giving me right now. Every morning is torture cos it will be full of dread when he's fetching me to school. Every moment with him is stress cos fearing the moment he opens his mouth. Not a single second of TV is allowed. Again, he opens his mouth and says with his high-pitched annoying fucked up voice:"You still got time to watch tv ar?...." MY GOD. I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE. PLEASE. KILL ME. I CAN'T TAKE ANYMORE OF THIS MENTAL TORMENT.
All the lecture DOES NOT HELP OK. It worsens things up. Why isn't he tired of repeating the same things again and again and again and again and again AND AGAIN! I'm so FUCKING sick of it!!!!!!!!!!
*bangs head at wall repeatedly*
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
Filler Post
I have no life. As if that wasn't obvious enough. Or what little I have of it don't even deserve the title of "Life".
Man, I'm starting to resent Add Maths. It wasn't so bad until (the horror!) @#$%! causing me to flunk my test. I HAVE NEVER FLUNKED MY ADD MATHS BEFORE, ok. But strangely, I felt nothing when I got my test paper. Hmm. So numb already.
Man, I'm starting to resent Add Maths. It wasn't so bad until (the horror!) @#$%! causing me to flunk my test. I HAVE NEVER FLUNKED MY ADD MATHS BEFORE, ok. But strangely, I felt nothing when I got my test paper. Hmm. So numb already.
Monday, August 14, 2006
Please Stop Pissing Me Off
The abundance of mosquitoes in my house is absurd! I'm having 4 bites on my right arm right now. Chee sin mosquitoes....
Yesterday, my father said that he thinks he's spoiling me too much, that I "NEVER DO ANYTHING". Oh, EXCUSE ME, who has been washing, hanging, folding the clothes, washing the dishes, washing YOUR smelly dirty socks, cleaning the table, taking out the rubbish?? Well, I guess it was me cos it certainly wasn't YOU! Oh, and what were you doing all that time? Sitting on your ass, that's what! Sheesh!!!! The atrocity! One day of washing his own car, changing the filter, cleaning the dishes (his own mess anyway, I purposely didn't wash so he would learn to clean up his own freaking mess), ironing and he blurts out that condescending remark. Like kena stabbed only! Bak kata pepatah,"kuman di seberang laut nampak, gajah di depan mata tak nampak" or sth like that la.
By the way, I could have ironed my own clothes ok. You the one beriy-iya wanna iron while I was napping. I was so darn pissed yesterday. Buat geram saja! *grits teeth* Sometimes I just wanna run around amok and slash anyone in sight. And lastly slash myself. One day I might just be pushed to do that. Sometimes really teetering on the brink of insanity.
Okay, maybe I don't do everything in the house, but saying that I "NEVER DO ANYTHING" is plain pissing me off ok. You want me to study and also want me to do all the chores? WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT FROM ME??!! I'm not a Supergirl!
Arghhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!! *slashs bunnies*
GAHHHHHHHH!!!!!*kicks some guy's groin*
RAWWWRRRRRRR!!!!!*bites off somebody's hand*
YEARGHHHHHHH!!!!!!*break rat's neck, squish rat's head*
AAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!*punches strangers' heads off*
HAEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYA!*fly kicks anybody in sight*
NY..NYAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!*burns down neighbour's house*
Urgh. The people I'm living with can be so insulting sometimes.
Yesterday, my father said that he thinks he's spoiling me too much, that I "NEVER DO ANYTHING". Oh, EXCUSE ME, who has been washing, hanging, folding the clothes, washing the dishes, washing YOUR smelly dirty socks, cleaning the table, taking out the rubbish?? Well, I guess it was me cos it certainly wasn't YOU! Oh, and what were you doing all that time? Sitting on your ass, that's what! Sheesh!!!! The atrocity! One day of washing his own car, changing the filter, cleaning the dishes (his own mess anyway, I purposely didn't wash so he would learn to clean up his own freaking mess), ironing and he blurts out that condescending remark. Like kena stabbed only! Bak kata pepatah,"kuman di seberang laut nampak, gajah di depan mata tak nampak" or sth like that la.
By the way, I could have ironed my own clothes ok. You the one beriy-iya wanna iron while I was napping. I was so darn pissed yesterday. Buat geram saja! *grits teeth* Sometimes I just wanna run around amok and slash anyone in sight. And lastly slash myself. One day I might just be pushed to do that. Sometimes really teetering on the brink of insanity.
Okay, maybe I don't do everything in the house, but saying that I "NEVER DO ANYTHING" is plain pissing me off ok. You want me to study and also want me to do all the chores? WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT FROM ME??!! I'm not a Supergirl!
Arghhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!! *slashs bunnies*
GAHHHHHHHH!!!!!*kicks some guy's groin*
RAWWWRRRRRRR!!!!!*bites off somebody's hand*
YEARGHHHHHHH!!!!!!*break rat's neck, squish rat's head*
AAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!*punches strangers' heads off*
HAEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYA!*fly kicks anybody in sight*
NY..NYAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!*burns down neighbour's house*
Urgh. The people I'm living with can be so insulting sometimes.
Saturday, August 12, 2006
Mozzie Plague
OMG there are so many mosquitoes in my house. Aedes mosquitoes mind you. Zebra stripes and all. So scary. Yesterday two mosquitoes were sucking my blood side by side, after that countless mosquitoes kept on attacking me. There were of all sizes, man, from XS to XL. I couldn't even eat my dinner in peace. What the hell is wrong with my house? Is there some breeding ground that I don't know of? You have to experience it for yourself. It's like they were having some feeding frenzy. The whole community of mozzies decided the venue to be my house. For God-knows-what-reason. Only got two people leh. Sigh. Mosquitoes like me so so much.
Maybe I'll get dengue fever. Then no need to go to school. MUAHAHAHHAHA. Yeah, I'd rather contract a deadly disease than go to school. THAT'S how much my school sucks.
Am eating Nutrigen LITEYO (Light low fat yoghurt) right now. Stawberry flavour highly recommended. Just cos it has whole massive stawberries inside. Yum. Have yet to try other flavours.
I totally bore myself.
Maybe I'll get dengue fever. Then no need to go to school. MUAHAHAHHAHA. Yeah, I'd rather contract a deadly disease than go to school. THAT'S how much my school sucks.
Am eating Nutrigen LITEYO (Light low fat yoghurt) right now. Stawberry flavour highly recommended. Just cos it has whole massive stawberries inside. Yum. Have yet to try other flavours.
I totally bore myself.
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
"Blogging Again Ar?"
Now seem more free to blog cos weekdays home alone for a few hours... kekekeke...
Refering to the above title, that's what my dad asks when he sees me READING blogs or blog-hopping. WTF right.... he actually thinks that reading blogs = blogging. Where did he get that idea man. Everytime I hear him say that, I really want to roll my eyes to the back of my skull.
And then, his tone suggests that reading blogs like breaking some law like that. Sheesh. More eye rolling. Eh, at least I'm not surfing for porn ok. Things could be much worse.
Why doesn't he think: If blog reading = blogging, then what is the term for blog writing?
Argh. I'm rambling again.
Refering to the above title, that's what my dad asks when he sees me READING blogs or blog-hopping. WTF right.... he actually thinks that reading blogs = blogging. Where did he get that idea man. Everytime I hear him say that, I really want to roll my eyes to the back of my skull.
And then, his tone suggests that reading blogs like breaking some law like that. Sheesh. More eye rolling. Eh, at least I'm not surfing for porn ok. Things could be much worse.
Why doesn't he think: If blog reading = blogging, then what is the term for blog writing?
Argh. I'm rambling again.
Monday, August 07, 2006
I Must Mention....
...that my freaking pair of flip flops were stolen. Who the hell steals flip flops anyway? WHO'S CHILDHOOD WAS THAT DEPRIVED?? Well, it wasn't those Japanese slippers la, but black and a little decorated that kind. AND, it was new ok. I only wore it for 2 or 3 times. Then came back from school one day, it was Gone. Vanished. Disappeared into thin air. WTF? Now I don't have slippers to wear. Great. Stupid flip flop stealing asscrack.
...that a mouse was living in my drawer for God-knows-how-long. Imagine opening your drawer one day and seeing first, a seemingly used tissue paper, then an apple core. Ok, like that also never mind. I freaking thought a family member was that disgusting to leave an apple core inside my drawer. But then, BUT THEN, you see a whole lot of shit. Mouse shit. Those oval, black shit. I tell you, it was so disgusting that you would feel like taking a gun and shooting yourself there and then. Other than shit, there were also crushed dried bones. Ugh. God. How long has it been living in there?? That was one time. I cleaned my drawer, took mum's advice and put in some mothballs. Not long after that, opened drawer, MOUSE SHIT again. Plus some sunflower seeds. That stupid mouse cannot find better place to live in ar? Why my drawer? MY drawer? How did it get in anyway??? Now drawer taken out, all my stuff put somewhere else (not much since I threw most of them away... stupid mouse!!!!), and the mouse is still lurking around the house. It even ate some rat poison but this super-duper resilient mouse survives. Crazy.
...that a mouse was living in my drawer for God-knows-how-long. Imagine opening your drawer one day and seeing first, a seemingly used tissue paper, then an apple core. Ok, like that also never mind. I freaking thought a family member was that disgusting to leave an apple core inside my drawer. But then, BUT THEN, you see a whole lot of shit. Mouse shit. Those oval, black shit. I tell you, it was so disgusting that you would feel like taking a gun and shooting yourself there and then. Other than shit, there were also crushed dried bones. Ugh. God. How long has it been living in there?? That was one time. I cleaned my drawer, took mum's advice and put in some mothballs. Not long after that, opened drawer, MOUSE SHIT again. Plus some sunflower seeds. That stupid mouse cannot find better place to live in ar? Why my drawer? MY drawer? How did it get in anyway??? Now drawer taken out, all my stuff put somewhere else (not much since I threw most of them away... stupid mouse!!!!), and the mouse is still lurking around the house. It even ate some rat poison but this super-duper resilient mouse survives. Crazy.
Saturday, August 05, 2006
Being Home Alone Males One Think Crap
Home alone again. Very mou liu eh. Actually, I can be doing more productive stuffs like, studying, but just plain lazy.
Aha! I was right about eating economy rice and my doing the chores. If my father is still a bachelor, his house would be a pig sty. And that would just be an understatement. Seriously don't know how he would survive. Dirty dishes everywhere, clothes and socks not washed, sticky dining table not cleaned and reeking with disgusting gravy from last year, dusty and sandy floor etc etc... Ugh. Sorry to say that sometimes, he really disgusts me. Probably had been too dependant on my mom all these years.
God, it's already August. So freaking fast! Without my knowing, the trial would arrive then bam! SPM! Force facts into brain, regurgitate, become brain bulimic, and then suddenly, finish SPM. Just like that. After that, don't know what to do... sigh, so fail, no ambition or should I say, "practical" ambition. I've thought of things like being a fashion designer, writer, open a bakery.... I want to do those stuffs but sure I worry if I'll earn money, if I have what it takes and all that. Maklumlah, typical Chinese ma. How???
Feeling so old yet immature at the same time. Old physically, immature mentally. What a bad combination. I DON'T HAVE A FREAKING PLAN FOR MY FUTURE!!!!!oneonesatuyiyatuno I'm not really keen on the idea of doing Form 6, but my parents most probably are. Then I think: must get superb results in SPM so can apply scholarship to go overseas and study. But then, I'm scared shit of all the interviews stuff. Cos I'm just not fond of those situations. I can see it now, my stuttering, blabbering nonsense or plain stoned, not understanding questions and staring wide-eyed at interviewee. SIGH.
One of the reasons I want to go overseas is to be independant. And break out of this shell of mine. Get to know more friends, be more outgoing, you know. If I'm forced into this totally alien environment, maybe I HAVE to do that, just to survive. That's my theory la. I want to experience life at another country, gain knowledge, broaden my perspective and all that. Then come back a different person, changed for the better ( I hope). If stay in Malaysia, I don't think I would change at all. I would still be this dull, quiet, shy, inept coward.
Maybe I'm just thinking too much. Am I being a worry wart???
This was another post brought to you by yours truly.
Aha! I was right about eating economy rice and my doing the chores. If my father is still a bachelor, his house would be a pig sty. And that would just be an understatement. Seriously don't know how he would survive. Dirty dishes everywhere, clothes and socks not washed, sticky dining table not cleaned and reeking with disgusting gravy from last year, dusty and sandy floor etc etc... Ugh. Sorry to say that sometimes, he really disgusts me. Probably had been too dependant on my mom all these years.
God, it's already August. So freaking fast! Without my knowing, the trial would arrive then bam! SPM! Force facts into brain, regurgitate, become brain bulimic, and then suddenly, finish SPM. Just like that. After that, don't know what to do... sigh, so fail, no ambition or should I say, "practical" ambition. I've thought of things like being a fashion designer, writer, open a bakery.... I want to do those stuffs but sure I worry if I'll earn money, if I have what it takes and all that. Maklumlah, typical Chinese ma. How???
Feeling so old yet immature at the same time. Old physically, immature mentally. What a bad combination. I DON'T HAVE A FREAKING PLAN FOR MY FUTURE!!!!!oneonesatuyiyatuno I'm not really keen on the idea of doing Form 6, but my parents most probably are. Then I think: must get superb results in SPM so can apply scholarship to go overseas and study. But then, I'm scared shit of all the interviews stuff. Cos I'm just not fond of those situations. I can see it now, my stuttering, blabbering nonsense or plain stoned, not understanding questions and staring wide-eyed at interviewee. SIGH.
One of the reasons I want to go overseas is to be independant. And break out of this shell of mine. Get to know more friends, be more outgoing, you know. If I'm forced into this totally alien environment, maybe I HAVE to do that, just to survive. That's my theory la. I want to experience life at another country, gain knowledge, broaden my perspective and all that. Then come back a different person, changed for the better ( I hope). If stay in Malaysia, I don't think I would change at all. I would still be this dull, quiet, shy, inept coward.
Maybe I'm just thinking too much. Am I being a worry wart???
This was another post brought to you by yours truly.
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
You Blog I Blog
Yay.Monthly test over already. This was only a 3-day monthly test. But imagine, got fed up after 3 days only. Oi, trial how like that? SPM leh? Sei lorr... lousy attention span. But... I can finally read my novel!
I understand why some bloggers say that nowadays the good bloggers are all "veterans", where are all the new blood? Heck, I get bored reading my own blog. The problem is, the teenagers here really have nothing much to blog about. School, tuition, exam, stress, tuition, exam..... and that's pretty much about it. Well, my life at least. I know, I'm like THE boring-est person you could ever meet. And I discovered two schoolmates' blogs. Honestly, zzzzzzzzzzzzz..... nothing interesting lor. But oooh.. one of them writes poems! OMFG, I was like.. what the.. she LIKES to write poems!! I didn't even know her English was not too bad for a student from my school (sarcastic meh?) Ok lar, her English was OK . Well I guess I shouldn't judge her since we don't even know each other.
(Eh, I totally digressed... -_-)
Anyway, I was shocked that some schoolmate of mine write poems! Mindfucked! Baffled! Awestruck! Yeah, I totally look down upon my own alma mater. Who writes poems anyway? I thought those artsy fartsy people? Erm, weird people? eccentric ones? Geez.. you really should not judge a book by its cover, or a blog by its template whatever. I was flabbergasted cos she looked kinda normal ma... tell me, how many normal people you know write poems??!! Err, maybe I'm over reacting a little. Calm down..
Moving on, about the second last post, I have to admit something. I was wrong about my brother. Hehe... malu nak cakap ni.. he's not actually useless lar. See, parents gone to Australia so only two of us at home for a week. At first I thought: Sei lor... all the chores also I do la? Where got time to study for test like that? These unfounded worries were just that, unfounded. To my shockness, he stepped up and did pretty much everything. From the cooking, washing dishes, hanging clothes, ironing, to the vacumning and mopping floor. Fuyor~~ really make me gua mu xiang kan.... why suddenly can be so rajin 1? Aiya, feel guilty la like that, my uniform he also iron! A little unbelievable, man. But... at least I got wash my own dishes and shoes!
Reminder: Must not assume things. I totally thought that he would let me rot by myself besides being my chauffeur. Does thinking like this make me evil?? Bad girl! Now, I may look upon him with newfound respect. Will it be shortlived? Will he continue his slobby ways after he comes back from Australia? Hmm... lets wait and see eh. Oh yeah, he left just now for the airport. Dad coming back tonight. His turn to take care of me. kekekeke... and I'm gonna make one more assumption: I'm gonna have to eat economy rice from now on. Dad would be lazy to cook. Hah, this assumptionshould would be correct! And... and.... it would be my turn to do all the freaking chores. Luckily, test ended liao. But I wont be mopping the floor, vacumn maybe lar, mop.. lazy ler...
The good thing about my bro taking care of me is..... home-cooked meals everyday! Oooh my bro cooks! Not a bad chef either. (Chef? Chauffeur? Like really my employee....) Feeling a bit useless leh, need to be taken care of. Because I don't know how to cook lor.
Erm.. what else leh. Everytime also like that. Churn out crap, digress until don't know where, then 'brain juices' come to abrupt halt. Blankness.
Back to the blogging topic, what do you reckon makes a good blog? For me, it's lots and lots of PRETTY photos. Leng lui photos to be spesific.. (lecherous smile) And of course, interesting content la. So that's why my blog is not good, and will never be good. Crap isi, no photos to boot. Example, kinkybluefairy's blog. Originally I went there to look at the photos, but then I started to actually read it. I'm liking it now, short and simple sentences... photos of hot guys and chicks here and there. And the partying! Envy betul! Sigh, what a life that woman has. Turning green.... Another example, jasiminne the penguin's blog. I mainly go there to see her camwhoring photos. Cos she's hot ma. But I seldom read. Too long maybe? (like mine) ANOTHER one, cheesie's blog. Also go there mainly for the pics, another hot gal. Yet hers I do read. Not too long. Quite berkualiti also her puns. Heh.
Anywayyyyyy..... I wonder how many more of my schoolmates blog? So darn curious, maybe can find out some secrets.. kekekkekeke.... *malicious grin*
I understand why some bloggers say that nowadays the good bloggers are all "veterans", where are all the new blood? Heck, I get bored reading my own blog. The problem is, the teenagers here really have nothing much to blog about. School, tuition, exam, stress, tuition, exam..... and that's pretty much about it. Well, my life at least. I know, I'm like THE boring-est person you could ever meet. And I discovered two schoolmates' blogs. Honestly, zzzzzzzzzzzzz..... nothing interesting lor. But oooh.. one of them writes poems! OMFG, I was like.. what the.. she LIKES to write poems!! I didn't even know her English was not too bad for a student from my school (sarcastic meh?) Ok lar, her English was OK . Well I guess I shouldn't judge her since we don't even know each other.
(Eh, I totally digressed... -_-)
Anyway, I was shocked that some schoolmate of mine write poems! Mindfucked! Baffled! Awestruck! Yeah, I totally look down upon my own alma mater. Who writes poems anyway? I thought those artsy fartsy people? Erm, weird people? eccentric ones? Geez.. you really should not judge a book by its cover, or a blog by its template whatever. I was flabbergasted cos she looked kinda normal ma... tell me, how many normal people you know write poems??!! Err, maybe I'm over reacting a little. Calm down..
Moving on, about the second last post, I have to admit something. I was wrong about my brother. Hehe... malu nak cakap ni.. he's not actually useless lar. See, parents gone to Australia so only two of us at home for a week. At first I thought: Sei lor... all the chores also I do la? Where got time to study for test like that? These unfounded worries were just that, unfounded. To my shockness, he stepped up and did pretty much everything. From the cooking, washing dishes, hanging clothes, ironing, to the vacumning and mopping floor. Fuyor~~ really make me gua mu xiang kan.... why suddenly can be so rajin 1? Aiya, feel guilty la like that, my uniform he also iron! A little unbelievable, man. But... at least I got wash my own dishes and shoes!
Reminder: Must not assume things. I totally thought that he would let me rot by myself besides being my chauffeur. Does thinking like this make me evil?? Bad girl! Now, I may look upon him with newfound respect. Will it be shortlived? Will he continue his slobby ways after he comes back from Australia? Hmm... lets wait and see eh. Oh yeah, he left just now for the airport. Dad coming back tonight. His turn to take care of me. kekekeke... and I'm gonna make one more assumption: I'm gonna have to eat economy rice from now on. Dad would be lazy to cook. Hah, this assumption
The good thing about my bro taking care of me is..... home-cooked meals everyday! Oooh my bro cooks! Not a bad chef either. (Chef? Chauffeur? Like really my employee....) Feeling a bit useless leh, need to be taken care of. Because I don't know how to cook lor.
Erm.. what else leh. Everytime also like that. Churn out crap, digress until don't know where, then 'brain juices' come to abrupt halt. Blankness.
Back to the blogging topic, what do you reckon makes a good blog? For me, it's lots and lots of PRETTY photos. Leng lui photos to be spesific.. (lecherous smile) And of course, interesting content la. So that's why my blog is not good, and will never be good. Crap isi, no photos to boot. Example, kinkybluefairy's blog. Originally I went there to look at the photos, but then I started to actually read it. I'm liking it now, short and simple sentences... photos of hot guys and chicks here and there. And the partying! Envy betul! Sigh, what a life that woman has. Turning green.... Another example, jasiminne the penguin's blog. I mainly go there to see her camwhoring photos. Cos she's hot ma. But I seldom read. Too long maybe? (like mine) ANOTHER one, cheesie's blog. Also go there mainly for the pics, another hot gal. Yet hers I do read. Not too long. Quite berkualiti also her puns. Heh.
Anywayyyyyy..... I wonder how many more of my schoolmates blog? So darn curious, maybe can find out some secrets.. kekekkekeke.... *malicious grin*
Saturday, July 29, 2006
Bleah
Shit. Got test on Monday but haven't studied. Can't even concentrate for more than 1 minute. Arghhhhhh!!!!!!!oneonesatuyiyat Past weeks have been sian. Realised time is running out before SPM but still, given my laziness and lack of motivation, not studying and watching the time fly by. In just a blink of an eye, it's already June damnit! WTF? Birthday already passed, must stop daydreaming already... big girl liao.
Feel so old. I don't feel my age at all, I feel like 50 plus. What with my sedentary lifestyle and all. Aren't teenagers supposed to be vibrant, energetic and fun? Geez, all of that I'm not. A freak I am. Bleah.
I want to start on a new novel, but cannot because of the test. Sigh, so annoying. No wonder Malaysians don't read. They study texts, and texts and texts.
Oh God, waistline expanding to China. It's like I'm having a whole float for a tummy. Sheesh, until my pinafore tight already (it was quite loose before!). Despite that, still eating like a pig. Maybe I'll get hypertension or clogged arteries? Or *gasp!* stroke! My diet is probably a major part of the reason why I feel so lazy all the time. Fat arse.
There. Life of a teenager. Bitching like nobody's business.
Feel so old. I don't feel my age at all, I feel like 50 plus. What with my sedentary lifestyle and all. Aren't teenagers supposed to be vibrant, energetic and fun? Geez, all of that I'm not. A freak I am. Bleah.
I want to start on a new novel, but cannot because of the test. Sigh, so annoying. No wonder Malaysians don't read. They study texts, and texts and texts.
Oh God, waistline expanding to China. It's like I'm having a whole float for a tummy. Sheesh, until my pinafore tight already (it was quite loose before!). Despite that, still eating like a pig. Maybe I'll get hypertension or clogged arteries? Or *gasp!* stroke! My diet is probably a major part of the reason why I feel so lazy all the time. Fat arse.
There. Life of a teenager. Bitching like nobody's business.
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