You want me to express myself?
You really want me to do that?
Then should I tell you just how sick I am of feeling this way. How so sick I am of going through the same old cycle over and over and over...
How sick I am of crying silently in the toilet, or crying myself to sleep and waking up with swollen eyes. How many times, I've lost count.
How sick I am of laughing my heart out when I'm with my friends, but when I'm alone all I wanna do is curl up and disappear.
How sick I am of letting you guys get to me more than I want to.
How sick I am of listening to you guys talk and talk and TALK.
How so very TIRED of it. Wondering why the fuck can't I just suck it up and DEAL WITH IT? WHY?
IT IS JUST. SO. DAMN. SICKENING.
I tried telling myself that it's OK, all I need is to take a few deep breaths and let it pass. Wait it out. Smile a bit. But I couldn't even force a smile out wtf.
I wish I could tell you why I'm like this. But I can't. Cos I don't know. I wish I knew too, but I DON'T.
I've never said that I hate you guys. I never will. I assure you that.